SchrodingersCat
Active member
THIS.The Philosopher's ex regularly accused him of putting work before his family (while occasionally, his job made extra demands, they were not extreme or long-lasting.) Um...., he was the their only source of income; she was a stay at home mom who lived in a beautiful house, and the Philosopher doted on her. It didn't matter how many times he explained to her that he worked because he was putting the well-being of his family first, she never got it. He wasn't putting her first.
I do have to say, however, that Gralson used to use this excuse with me, and I wasn't buying it. He said, he worked so much because I'm in school and he "has to" work that much so we can "live". I said, no you don't. We can live on less. You work so much because you like your job, you love working, and you enjoy the power of making money and being able to buy nice things. Nothing wrong with that, but let's call a spade a spade. I've always said, I would be happy living in a shack on the beach, and I mean it. That doesn't mean that, if there's money around, I won't buy nice things. But I don't need those things to be happy. What I do need, however, is companionship and love in my life. I don't need Gralson, but if he wasn't sharing a fair chunk of his time with me, I wouldn't stick around just for the things his money can buy.
So like this Philosopher's wife, I don't accept "I'm working for us" because what most people want from their partners is time together. Nice things are not a substitute for intimacy and "us time."