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Old 04-07-2014, 03:41 PM
loveartist loveartist is offline
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Has anyone had a primary become a secondary?

Success/failure with that?
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Old 04-07-2014, 09:19 PM
PolyinPractice PolyinPractice is offline
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Yep. Me. Successful, but mostly due to my partner's crazy ability to manage two, or more, marriage type relationships.

I really know of few examples of that happening....

Edit: Oops, misread. I got the two mixed up; secondary to primary. Why would someone move from primary to secondary? Genuinely curious.
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Old 04-07-2014, 10:31 PM
graviton graviton is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PolyinPractice View Post
Yep. Me. Successful, but mostly due to my partner's crazy ability to manage two, or more, marriage type relationships.

I really know of few examples of that happening....

Edit: Oops, misread. I got the two mixed up; secondary to primary. Why would someone move from primary to secondary? Genuinely curious.
I imagine a new time constraint or moving could cause this. A desire to change expectations, or a new partner that is far more compatible. Maybe a former spouse who has changed their heart and wants to be involved once again romantically with the ex but with less commitment.
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Old 04-08-2014, 02:34 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Yes.
My bf and dh were both primary.
However-that has changed.

Successful is subjective-so not sure how to answer if it was successful or not. We are all still here...
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Old 04-08-2014, 03:27 AM
loveartist loveartist is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PolyinPractice View Post
Yep. Me. Successful, but mostly due to my partner's crazy ability to manage two, or more, marriage type relationships.

I really know of few examples of that happening....

Edit: Oops, misread. I got the two mixed up; secondary to primary. Why would someone move from primary to secondary? Genuinely curious.
Issues we are having outside of sex have permeated our sexual and regular interaction. The list of needs that must be met outside of my marriage are beginning to outweigh those being met within.

However, we don't want to up and give up the marriage, because if there's any way we can live together and be happy with our kids, we're going to take it.

Hence, the idea of us becoming more secondary to one another from the relationship standpoint, but remaining necessary important and appreciated because we still love each other and are parents.
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Old 04-08-2014, 03:31 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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There have been a number of threads here about that before, with quite lively discussions. Try the Advanced Search and look for either "primary" or "secondary" in the thread titles, and any other keywords you think would be useful. Or use the Tag Search.
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