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  #11  
Old 03-27-2014, 03:40 PM
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Dagferi Dagferi is online now
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Imo BEFORE the first date the other party needsvto know hey I have a partner. I know I would be pissed if I was misled on any subject matter just to get a date.

When Murf, we met irl, asked me out on a date the first sentence out of my mouth explained my situation.
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  #12  
Old 03-27-2014, 03:52 PM
vanquish vanquish is offline
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Originally Posted by Dagferi View Post
Imo BEFORE the first date the other party needsvto know hey I have a partner. I know I would be pissed if I was misled on any subject matter just to get a date.
Here's where I guess we can just choose to differ. I think, in the modern dating world, it's not too strange an assumption to think that someone on a dating site is dating someone else and has been doing so for a period of time.

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When Murf, we met irl, asked me out on a date the first sentence out of my mouth explained my situation.
I'm not following this sentence. Do you mean that you told him after he asked you out that you were in a relationship? Not before? If that's the case then he already had his hopes up before he had your information which is similar to finding out after you've read someone's profile.

We can agree to disagree and not hijack the thread any more. Red, you've heard my view.
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  #13  
Old 03-27-2014, 04:21 PM
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Dagferi Dagferi is online now
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We met through a classic car club. I have a1953 Studebaker truck. Butch hates car shows, cruises, and etc. So Murf met me through my car friends. I do not wear a wedding ring due to having 4 screws in my ring finger. Conversations were about cars. I don't go through life announcing my relationship status in general conversations.

As soon as Murf expressed an interest in me beyond a casual acquaintance we had the ploy conversation.
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40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.

Last edited by Dagferi; 03-27-2014 at 04:26 PM.
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  #14  
Old 03-27-2014, 04:27 PM
vanquish vanquish is offline
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So you're giving us an example of someone who asked you out, hoping you were single, before he knew that you were poly, not knowing what your relationship status was, who took a chance and was able to handle it after you told him in person.

Interesting
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  #15  
Old 03-27-2014, 04:42 PM
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Dagferi Dagferi is online now
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Yes..

But I guess women who love classic cars especially gearhead women are a rarity so he was willing to take a chance. Not many women would help put an engine in a 72 camaro... lol.

My point is it is better to be upfront and honest. Online dating profiles should give a glimpse of who you are bypassing the whole get to know you phase in a casual environment. I dated preinternet days. You used to meet someone you had a general conversation and decided if you wanted to get to know them better. Your online profile should give the reader the important information to allow someone to decide whether you are someone they want to get to know.

I wouldn't want to date someone whose core beliefs do not mesh with mine.
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40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.
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  #16  
Old 03-27-2014, 05:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dagferi View Post
Yes..

But I guess women who love classic cars especially gearhead women are a rarity so he was willing to take a chance. Not many women would help put an engine in a 72 camaro... lol.

My point is it is better to be upfront and honest. Online dating profiles should give a glimpse of who you are bypassing the whole get to know you phase in a casual environment. I dated preinternet days. You used to meet someone you had a general conversation and decided if you wanted to get to know them better. Your online profile should give the reader the important information to allow someone to decide whether you are someone they want to get to know.

I wouldn't want to date someone whose core beliefs do not mesh with mine.
Well yes, like I said; I can get plenty of responses from single, monogamous women. I know how to write a profile and message!

For reference, I am fairly extroverted and I seem to only date people who are MORE extroverted and gregarious than myself. So my target audience is generally inclined to come and meet groups of people. That was my most successful technique when pitching a message at an extrovert. Come meet me and my friends and do something social! But even that doesn't seem to work when I say "Come meet me and my poly friends"

Lots of different ideas and perspectives. Thanks so far.
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  #17  
Old 03-27-2014, 05:32 PM
friskyone4u friskyone4u is offline
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Lets face some facts folks . The overwhelming number of men are not going to be put off by anything a woman puts out on her status. As a matter of fact if she states she is married or in a committed relationship but still dating that will translate to most men that this could be a great FWB and probably surely sex if it works out. Most women on these sites will not be interested if the same statement is made by a man. I do agree with Dagferi that there should be no intentional deceipt
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  #18  
Old 03-27-2014, 05:39 PM
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From what I hear from my single mono male friends... Online dating is a bitch.

Add on being poly I am sure that makes things even harder .
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40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.
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  #19  
Old 03-27-2014, 05:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dagferi View Post
From what I hear from my single mono male friends... Online dating is a bitch.

Add on being poly I am sure that makes things even harder .
There are a lot of flaky, crazy people on internet dating. Male and female. It's hard enough to sift through all the people who aren't even serious about meeting other humans.
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  #20  
Old 03-27-2014, 07:05 PM
vanquish vanquish is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by friskyone4u View Post
I do agree with Dagferi that there should be no intentional deceipt
I agree with this too. I'm simply saying tell them on the date.
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