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Old 07-24-2014, 06:56 PM
acid acid is offline
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Default Polyday

Dear friends + carbon based lifeforms,

Today is a milestone for me, and I cannot think of a more appropriate fellowship with whom to share this occasion. Pull a seat over and hopefully you will enjoy my tale of woe and redemption. The story is longish so TL;DR today is henceforth POLYDAY (at least for me, if no one else).

When I was 19, I read "The Ethical Slut" for the very first time. After reading that book, my view on relationships and what love meant was changed irrevocably. A new world opened: one where we aim not to master each other, but rather ourselves, and release an infinite abundance of love as a result. It sounded like a path of both joy and courage. I knew it was right for me.

I am 29 now, and the span of a decade separates me from the boy I was then. During those ten years, I moved from one monogamous relationship to another. I questioned my motives: was poly a gateway to a better life, or a juvenile, sexist fantasy? Unsure of myself and frightened of being left alone, I settled for less, again and again.

Fast forward to two years ago, when I met my most recent partner. For the first time, I made it explicit that I was not interested in exclusivity. We fell in love, she backpedaled, and revealed that in fact she wasn't comfortable with the idea of poly.

Which brings me at last to the significance of this day, July the 24th. Exactly one year ago today, my partner and I made an agreement: I would be 100% monogamous for one year. In exchange, she would work on herself, confront her insecurities, and lay the foundation for opening our love to others.

I kept my end of the bargain but alas, the task was too great for her. She didn't know how to change and resentments grew. Finally and with sadness we had to part.

In some ways it's a sad story, but not in its ending. If the past year taught me anything, it is that I want to be poly for the right reasons. I want to give my love freely and live with consideration for all of those around me. My happiness lies in pursuing that end.

In recognition of this resolve, July the 24th will be forever marked as POLYDAY in my calendar. It marks a celebration of self-discovery and the delight of ethically sharing myself and my feelings. Today is the day I firmly commit to making this way of life work, regardless of the challenges I may face.

To you, reader, and to all of the wonderful people in this community, I raise my glass and toast you as much as I toast my own progress. Because without each other this journey is for naught - indeed, it is the dream of living in a better compact with all of you that has compelled me to tell my story. I wish the best for your own personal journeys, and send you my love.

Happy Polyday,

acid
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Old 07-24-2014, 07:08 PM
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MusicalRose MusicalRose is offline
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Thank you for this. :-)
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Me: Female, pansexual, polyamorous, relationship anarchist
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