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  #11  
Old 03-25-2014, 04:41 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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I've had up to 4 sweeties and I know that is way too much. Even 3 is too much. I start forgetting what I told to who. I am driving too much, or readying my house for someone, or getting in the right food and drink, or choosing an outfit, or having first date butterflies, or feeling like I am neglecting someone who would like to see more of me, etc.

So, 2 is good for me. Helps that both my partners really suit me, and I don't have any unmet needs, that I can't fill myself or with platonic friends.

Sometimes I feel my bf is too polysaturated and I start to feel neglected. It can become a serious problem. Right now he's got me, a FWB relationship with my gf, and he has his wife. But he's always trolling for new... We've had to have serious talks about the impact his divided attention can have on me, especially if I am going through other life stresses or health issues that make me feel physically and emotionally weakened.
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  #12  
Old 03-25-2014, 09:56 PM
jeffanddannie jeffanddannie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Inyourendo View Post
Some people just like having conversations. Like talking about one's favorite movie.the information being shared doesn't have to be useful for anything
thanks that's exactly what im after. I just wanna hear what others are feeling/thinking on this subject. I cant handle more then the 4 I have now and I can handle them cause circumstances don't allow me to see a few of them more then twice a month or so anyways. though we text and talk daily. but ive had the conversation with my wife about if 4 is to much or if not then how many would be in terms of getting around to much I guess. so that got me to thinking about what people in the poly community think. so I asked
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  #13  
Old 03-25-2014, 09:58 PM
vanquish vanquish is offline
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Sorry if my brain was too utilitarian. I love good conversation myself. Just wasn't following along that track.
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  #14  
Old 03-25-2014, 10:13 PM
jeffanddannie jeffanddannie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
I've had up to 4 sweeties and I know that is way too much. Even 3 is too much. I start forgetting what I told to who. I am driving too much, or readying my house for someone, or getting in the right food and drink, or choosing an outfit, or having first date butterflies, or feeling like I am neglecting someone who would like to see more of me, etc.

So, 2 is good for me. Helps that both my partners really suit me, and I don't have any unmet needs, that I can't fill myself or with platonic friends.

Sometimes I feel my bf is too polysaturated and I start to feel neglected. It can become a serious problem. Right now he's got me, a FWB relationship with my gf, and he has his wife. But he's always trolling for new... We've had to have serious talks about the impact his divided attention can have on me, especially if I am going through other life stresses or health issues that make me feel physically and emotionally weakened.
yeah that's why I talked to my wife about it to. I wanted to make sure I wasn't making her feel left out. I try to make sure she is getting not just time but quality time with me. my gfs always want more but even if I had more time or more money I still couldn't see all of them as much as wed all like, circumstances just don't allow. one of them is always away on business trips and such, the other works 60+ hours a week and seems to not have much time and a third lives 100 miles away and I have to plan to go see her and have the time for the drive and the gass money. only is available everyday and lives close by. so thats how I can have 4 and not lose to much time.
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  #15  
Old 03-26-2014, 12:53 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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I'll tell you my poly dream - I would like four lovers: one or two men I would see once or twice a week or once every 2 weeks (so they would have to be fairly local to me), another I would see maybe once every month or two for an extended weekend (could be a little long-distance from me but not too far), and one guy I would see about 2 to 4 times a year on fun getaways (could be very long-distance). I don't know why but that is my ideal that I would love to see happen.

Not there yet - will keep you all posted on how it goes if it ever comes to fruition for me!
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Last edited by nycindie; 03-26-2014 at 12:56 AM.
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  #16  
Old 03-26-2014, 01:53 AM
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RainyGrlJenny RainyGrlJenny is offline
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Two primaries and one once-a-weekish lover was a really good place for me, and I think more than that would make me feel stretched too thin. Plus, I need a little space, so I need me-time built in. However, that might be different if all my loves lived nearby, where I didn't have to add a bunch of travel time into the equation. Moonlight and Punk both only live about 20-25 miles away, but with the horrendous traffic in Seattle, it often takes a long time to go back and forth.

I'm not looking to add any relationships right now, as I'm in sort of a transition period in my life, but it's definitely a future possibility.
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  #17  
Old 03-26-2014, 02:13 AM
willowstar willowstar is offline
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Have 2 right now. Husband and boyfriend. BF lives 60 miles away and has a family of his own, and hubby and I have three kids. BF and I only get to see each other maybe once a week but we talk and text daily. We dont do sleepovers at this point because of his family, his kids dont know.

I cant imagine having time for any more, but I would like to add a girlfriend at some point. How that would look really depends on all of the above dynamics working out. Ideally, I would like BF to live with us someday. That will all depend on how he chooses to handle his family situation, which is not really poly friendly at this time.

Right now, we alternate nights between BF and hubby. Three nights a week I spend with hubby. The other three I text with BF if we are both available. Sundays we watch Walking Dead together (BF on text, but we talk about the show while its happening), then hubby goes to bed and I stay up a little with BF.
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  #18  
Old 03-26-2014, 03:15 AM
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Bluebird Bluebird is offline
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I think for me it depends on how invested I am in each relationship. At the moment I have two - my husband and my boyfriend. Both I consider primaries and I split my time between them. I don't feel a need for more partners and I don't have time either, so that is my saturation point.

With my ex- boyfriend, he was very poor at meeting my needs, so I had 4 relationships - my husband, my boyfriend, a FWB and a guy I was seeing to evaluate if he was boyfriend material. My boyfriend and I broke up, the possibility didn't work out and then when I met my current boyfriend, I had no more need of the FWB. My life was very unfulfilling when juggling 4. I am very happy with my 2 loves right now.
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  #19  
Old 03-26-2014, 03:31 AM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
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Only in one right now, and it is not going to change until some unspecified time like when present and future children are grown and out of the house.

Two was my limit, and I preferred having a primary and a secondary/tertiary with no fixed schedule. Two primaries stretched me to max capacity, and I hated it and having a schedule. Outside of that, quality will always win over quantity for me.

If I entered a second relationship at this point, they would see me once a month--maybe. No overnights. Some months not at all. A massive part of that is the fact that this hypothetical person would never meet or be around my children.
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  #20  
Old 03-26-2014, 05:47 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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I have 2 partners and thsts enough (sometimes too much) right now. I think it would be different if i weren't in school, raising kids, babysitting grandkids and/or they were closer (friends).
But for now it is what it is and I am too busy already.
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