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  #51  
Old 03-26-2014, 04:45 PM
Ryan3232 Ryan3232 is offline
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Ryan, dude, it's beginning to look like you're here just to advertise the beyondtwo site. Please stop adding a link to it in nearly every post you make if you are really here for advice and/or to share your poly experience, and for your posts to be considered valid and sincere.

A link to the site has already been included in our Online Poly Resources thread, so please just participate from now on without pushing it on us all over the place. Thanks.
Ok, Nyncindie.

I did not mean to annoy you, I am solely focused on the cohabitation idea and that is the ONLY poly site I have seen that even brings up such an idea in their profile or in general. While I do not see the problem in posting articles or links that bring up that topic, sure Nyncindie, whatever you want.

Thanks.

Ryan
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  #52  
Old 03-26-2014, 04:49 PM
Ryan3232 Ryan3232 is offline
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Ok, Nyncindie.

I did not mean to annoy you, I am solely focused on the cohabitation idea and that is the ONLY poly site I have seen that even brings up such an idea in their profile or in general. While I do not see the problem in posting articles or links that bring up that topic, sure Nyncindie, whatever you want.

Thanks.

Ryan
http://blogs.wsj.com/economics/2014/...ousing-crisis/


I am concerned about this problem, so while I understand you are the moderator, I think you are missing the point of what I am trying to do.
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  #53  
Old 03-26-2014, 04:57 PM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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There is being concerned then there is harping,
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  #54  
Old 03-26-2014, 05:00 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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You did not annoy me. Anonymous posters on message boards don't have the power to annoy me. I am just doing my job.
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  #55  
Old 03-26-2014, 06:12 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Originally Posted by Ryan3232 View Post
While I do not see the problem in posting articles or links that bring up that topic, sure Nyncindie, whatever you want.
There's no problem with posting articles or links, but once is enough. You'll notice nothing was said the first, second, or third time.

No one's missing the point, it was made pretty clearly in your first post. Hence, no need to repeat yourself.

As crappy as it is, we live in a "not my problem" kind of world. I'm already concerned with a lot of "not my problems" like aboriginal rights in Canada and discrimination against immigrants. Then add in all the things that are my problem, like the Harper gov't abolishing environmental protection acts and literally burning centuries of fisheries and other written environment records, increasing tax relief for the rich at the expense of the poor, and selling our natural resources to the lowest bidder... frankly, housing crises in California are the least of my concern.

The housing crisis is a symptom of a much larger problem, which is the growing divide between the haves and the havenots. Making all the poor people share apartments is not going to solve that problem, not in the least. It's not that "there aren't houses," it's that "the houses are too expensive and people don't make enough money to buy them." So yeah, you can go on a crusade to fix one symptom, or you can get involved trying to change legislation to fix the real problem. I choose the latter.
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  #56  
Old 03-26-2014, 06:42 PM
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There is also the option of moving somewhere cheaper...

My house with Butch costs $450/ mo for a 3 bedroom 1.5 bath house with a small fenced in yard. It will be paid off in 3 yrs. My home with Murf is $475 /mo for a 3 bedroom 2 bath house with a huge backyard and a huge 2 car heated garage..

I lived in the shadow of Chicago for a decade. Looking back I wonder wth were we thinking dealing with such a high cost of living.

Up here we have more houses then people to fill them
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  #57  
Old 03-26-2014, 07:18 PM
Amanita Amanita is offline
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Originally Posted by Ryan3232 View Post

Amanita

Have you ever had any direct (personal) or indirect (someone else) experience with such a living arrangement?
Not as a polyamorous arrangement, but when I was living with my former partner, we had his brother living with us for a time, and then after he moved out, my future brother-in-law came to live with us for a while. Both instances worked out pretty well.

Indirect examples include an internet friend who lives happily in a polyamorous family home, and my cousins who have been house-sharing with friends for years because it's so damned expensive to live in London.

I have all kinds of daydreams about a large home for my poly family, in which we all have a little bit of space to ourselves alongside the communal areas. I think it will have to stay a daydream for a while though because it also includes a bit of forest, room for animals, and a garden with a vegie patch and an orchard. Right now, I think I can just about afford a big tent :P

Amanita
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  #58  
Old 03-27-2014, 04:44 AM
Ryan3232 Ryan3232 is offline
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nycindie

I understand.

SchrodingersCat

I do agree with your point that fixing the house problem is more like treating the symptom rather than curing the disease; however, it is possible to treat a symptom and cure the disease simultaneously.

I am trying to do both. I am using my JD to work on making a difference that can actually impact the lives of those who have much less than the "haves". Additionally, since that takes lots of time and effort before changes can be made & reaped, I am doing what I can to alleviate those who could use some temporary medication.

I understand where you are coming from, but it is possible to do both, and I think addressing both the short term & the long term is the most effective way to solving such problems

Dagferi

Interesting; it is much different in California. I wish there were more houses than there were people. It is just difficult, expensive.

Amanita

Haha, your daydreams sounds nice =)... Maybe my daydreams will intertwine with yours and we will meet in the communal forest with both of our poly families!
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  #59  
Old 03-27-2014, 02:45 PM
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Natja Natja is offline
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I am a great believer in a more communal style of living in general and I am grateful for a gradual moving away of traditional nuclear family units because they are just SO inefficient and I think a lot of people do better with more support around.


Buuuuut (and it is a big one) we have lost the ability to live well with others to a large degree, situations like people talking advantage, being inconsiderate and not pulling their weight, is bound to create friction and drama. Some parents don't allow their adult children to be adults, some families bully and negatively influence and sometimes people are not allow to emotionally develop into the people they are capable of being.

I am a very tribal person but I admit living with my mother would be more form of hell.

Which is why I prefer the idea(ideal) of expansive,intentional family, people you love and care for (not necessarily all romantic of course) rather than people who are entirely an accident of birth. Deciding to go into something together and commit to it means the responsibility is on you all to make the concessions needed to live in harmony.
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  #60  
Old 03-28-2014, 02:27 AM
Ryan3232 Ryan3232 is offline
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Originally Posted by Natja View Post
I am a great believer in a more communal style of living in general and I am grateful for a gradual moving away of traditional nuclear family units because they are just SO inefficient and I think a lot of people do better with more support around.


Buuuuut (and it is a big one) we have lost the ability to live well with others to a large degree, situations like people talking advantage, being inconsiderate and not pulling their weight, is bound to create friction and drama. Some parents don't allow their adult children to be adults, some families bully and negatively influence and sometimes people are not allow to emotionally develop into the people they are capable of being.

I am a very tribal person but I admit living with my mother would be more form of hell.

Which is why I prefer the idea(ideal) of expansive,intentional family, people you love and care for (not necessarily all romantic of course) rather than people who are entirely an accident of birth. Deciding to go into something together and commit to it means the responsibility is on you all to make the concessions needed to live in harmony.
Amen, well-said.

I think a lot of it situation-dependent. Cohabitation is not for everyone, but it does work for some people and they should encouraged to do so.

Haha, but maybe we will not encourage those with a desire to live in a communal setting to live with their mothers.
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