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  #41  
Old 03-25-2014, 07:02 AM
calypsoblu calypsoblu is offline
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I live in Arizona, I see alot of hispanic families, some also happen to be immigrants themselves, doing this very thing, multi family cohabitation. It is nothing new, they have been doing this since before I was born. I can tell you this, they save so much money doing this that most of them end up paying cash for their homes and vehicles...which frankly, most of the population cannot do this. So, it does work, if everyone is pitching in, rather than the few paying for the rest.

I have lived in this manner w my family in past years.... guess what, never ever will it happen again w my family or either of my husbands family members. It was a clusterfuck to be sure, we ended up paying the others way, put up w their rudeness,dirtiness, etc...never again, oh hell no... and worse, it destroyed the relationship I had w those family members... to the point that I would never take them in, even if they ended up homeless. It was not worth the ruined relationships.

Last edited by calypsoblu; 03-25-2014 at 07:20 AM.
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  #42  
Old 03-25-2014, 09:35 AM
Amanita Amanita is offline
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I think like many other things, whether a communal household works or not depends upon the personalities involved. I personally think it's a great idea as long as the participants have some kind of a shared vision, communicate well with each other, and have the mutual goodwill to make and stick to practical arrangements, particularly if it's intended to be a long term arrangement.

Amanita
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  #43  
Old 03-25-2014, 01:38 PM
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I suppose I'll recant a bit on what I said earlier... if I lived in a tenement-type of situation, I think that would certainly be doable for me. Co-located without the loss of personal space. And yes, families used to do this all the time. It'd certainly make it easier to find a catsitter when I go away.

It reminds me of an animated short I ran across a while ago... I guess it kind of fits here: Sundays at Rocco's

Back in college, I did enjoy this type of living arrangement - multiple units with friends, where we'd get together regularly. Nowadays, I'd just prefer to not have roommates in my own unit.
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  #44  
Old 03-25-2014, 02:40 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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Originally Posted by Ryan3232 View Post
opalescent

In regards to your hoping of ending up in such a community, have you put forth any effort in finding a community that meets your needs?
I have, although it remains a distant goal. There are a few local cohousing communities I could possibly buy into. However, they are expensive and not located in the city I want to live in. I was also involved briefly with a group trying to get a local cohousing community off the ground in my city but, sadly, it fizzed after a few years. I suspect I will need to get a group together to build a community or join an existing one.

I am interested in the possibities of having lovers and/or friends join the community too but my main goal is to find a community that supports people doing elder care. My parents are healthy but they are aging and it is something I think about often.
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  #45  
Old 03-25-2014, 05:40 PM
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SchrodingersCat

Bravo. Do you happen to know where I might start to find that thread you spoke of?
On the forum. I would start with the search button. I can't remember the keywords, so your chances are as good as mine.
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  #46  
Old 03-25-2014, 05:47 PM
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Maybe this was it?
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  #47  
Old 03-26-2014, 12:44 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryan3232 View Post
Do you happen to know where I might start to find that thread you spoke of?
Use the Advanced Search function and enter keywords.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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  #48  
Old 03-26-2014, 07:10 AM
Ryan3232 Ryan3232 is offline
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calypsoblu

I can understand your strong sentiment to never repeat that bad experience again. But, would you be open to cohabitation with another couple, poly or monogamous, in the future?

I pose that question because when it comes immediate family, living together might be more difficult with them that it would be with another couple with who you and your husband were close friends with for a period of time.

Amanita

Have you ever had any direct (personal) or indirect (someone else) experience with such a living arrangement?

opalescent

Interesting, if you do not mind sharing, where were these cities located?

Additionally, from my impressions of www.beyondtwo.com, it seems like this might be a place to look into finding another group or community to build such a community. I have met some people on there who are kind-hearted, motivated, and have the resources to make such a goal possible. I am talking with one of them, so I would be happy to direct you her way if you are curious.

SchrodingersCat nycindie

Thank you for the link & search pointers. I will go through the blogs later to see if it has some of the ideas you mentioned, so I appreciate the guidance.
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  #49  
Old 03-26-2014, 08:02 AM
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Something like this would be good, although I think I'd want two-bedroom apartments as the base unit (I need a junk room).
Quote:
Imagine a building that can transform from three one-bedroom apartments into a family home depending on the needs of the occupants.

[snip...]

Mr Barr's concept also considered the needs of families that grew or shrank over time, incorporating three one-bedroom apartments on a 250 square metre block at a total cost of $500,000.[/url]
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  #50  
Old 03-26-2014, 03:58 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Ryan, dude, it's beginning to look like you're here just to advertise the beyondtwo site. Please stop adding a link to it in nearly every post you make if you are really here for advice and/or to share your poly experience, and for your posts to be considered valid and sincere.

A link to the site has already been included in our Online Poly Resources thread, so please just participate from now on without pushing it on us all over the place. Thanks.
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The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 03-26-2014 at 04:03 PM.
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