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  #21  
Old 03-19-2014, 09:08 PM
polybynature polybynature is offline
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Originally Posted by Inyourendo View Post
I've seen that quite a bit, one of the reasons I mostly dated monogamous men. I really dont want to deal with a metamour
its nice if you can get it Ive scoped out single guys, but they seem to want more than I can give. Then again, I was also already in love with a man with a wife. sigh.
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  #22  
Old 03-19-2014, 09:19 PM
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Inyourendo Inyourendo is online now
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Thankfully sam has taken a chance on me and I've made him feel that he is every bit a co primary. I only spend about 40 hours a week with him (2 overnights) but I also call and text him hes satisfied with that
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  #23  
Old 03-19-2014, 09:28 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Originally Posted by PolyinPractice View Post
According to responses on this thread, most partners . . .
Considering that less than 10 different people responded out of a forum with thousands of members, many of whom are lurkers who rarely or never post, the whole of which is yet but a sliver of how many poly people there are in the world, I certainly hope you don't base your actions or come to any conclusions about poly relationships in general on what is posted in this thread thus far.
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Last edited by nycindie; 03-19-2014 at 09:30 PM.
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  #24  
Old 03-20-2014, 04:27 AM
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Originally Posted by PolyinPractice View Post
According to responses on this thread, most partners are totally cool with their metamours wanting wedding ceremonies or children or life time entanglements with their partner....

Mine, well, let's just say she's not going to be thrilled....
Oh my metamour would NOT be ok with that. I have started threads recently on here talking about my metamours jealously and resentment issues. So don't think your metamour is the only one that wouldn't be "cool" with a marriage type set up
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  #25  
Old 03-20-2014, 01:32 PM
polybynature polybynature is offline
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Originally Posted by MsChristy View Post
Oh my metamour would NOT be ok with that. I have started threads recently on here talking about my metamours jealously and resentment issues. So don't think your metamour is the only one that wouldn't be "cool" with a marriage type set up
Absolutely. While jealousy is undesirable in poly, everyone deals with and fights it. its a human emotion, in my opinion largely bred my societal norms. or ive had too much coffee
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  #26  
Old 03-20-2014, 06:50 PM
PolyinPractice PolyinPractice is offline
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Originally Posted by MsChristy View Post
Oh my metamour would NOT be ok with that. I have started threads recently on here talking about my metamours jealously and resentment issues. So don't think your metamour is the only one that wouldn't be "cool" with a marriage type set up
I thought "spouse" was equivalent to "marriage type setup." Sorry for ambiguity. I say, "spouse" phase, only because group marriage is not allowed. If you already have a spouse, it's hard to define others at that same level. But it's also possible to have a partner for years and THEN marry a new person. I know people who have had "boyfriends" for longer than they've been with their "husband."

I appreciate responses, but none that really addressed the issue. Experiences with moving to that phase?

If this is too personal, please PM me

Last edited by PolyinPractice; 03-20-2014 at 06:52 PM.
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  #27  
Old 03-20-2014, 07:18 PM
gorgeouskitten gorgeouskitten is offline
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Originally Posted by PolyinPractice View Post
I thought "spouse" was equivalent to "marriage type setup." Sorry for ambiguity. I say, "spouse" phase, only because group marriage is not allowed. If you already have a spouse, it's hard to define others at that same level. But it's also possible to have a partner for years and THEN marry a new person. I know people who have had "boyfriends" for longer than they've been with their "husband."

I appreciate responses, but none that really addressed the issue. Experiences with moving to that phase?

If this is too personal, please PM me
So youre saying....as in you were dating two people, then married one of them and kept the other as a BF?
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  #28  
Old 03-20-2014, 07:41 PM
PolyinPractice PolyinPractice is offline
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Originally Posted by gorgeouskitten View Post
So youre saying....as in you were dating two people, then married one of them and kept the other as a BF?
I don't know any of those people personally. I've just seen people talk about how they've been with their boyfriend for 10 years and their husband for 7. Not sure what the reason was for not marrying the first (perhaps was already married, maybe didn't want to get married). Couldn't say
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  #29  
Old 03-28-2014, 03:36 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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Originally Posted by PolyinPractice View Post
@Jane, I always thought making friends, sleeping with them, then spending time together WAS dating
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Originally Posted by JaneQSmythe View Post
That is an excellent point! But...since I wasn't "looking for" romantic relationships, it took me by surprise when it turned that direction.
An addendum - not everyone operates this way (there is a thread somewhere here where we discussed different models).

Some people do (for instance): dating (i.e. asking people out/dinner/movies) --> sex (at date # n? )--> friendship --> full-fledged romantic relationship.

...and various other orders.

I can't imagine being in a "romantic" relationship with someone that I wouldn't be friends with anyway (without the sex/romance) - although I can, and have, had purely sexual relationships with people that I wouldn't be friends with or be in a romantic relationship with. But apparently some people look for different things in dating partners than they do in "friends".
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Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (together 3+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS
TT: poly bi male, married to Lotus, FB with JaneQ
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