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  #11  
Old 03-17-2014, 03:45 PM
bohemiangoddess bohemiangoddess is offline
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There was no cheating. They have an open relationship. I guess I am just trying to figure out what I was doing for two years. Why we kept getting back together when it didnt work the last 4 times.*
Honestly I am not hurt over the end of the relationship, but how it was done and why I was led to believe a lot of things. It really is ok. It was my fault for trying to make it something it wasnt. My fault for reacting to her pulling away. It was just never made clear on what we were doing. One minute she would tell me she couldnt imagine me with another. The next you deserve better. We were even polyfidelous at one point. Then you are the love of my life, i wish my hub would get a gf. Mixed signals and a lot of confusion. Perhaps for her too.
It was a learning experience and an adventure.The weird thing is I feel indifferent to the situation. What I hold on to is answers. The friend that will never be part of my life again, although I know that a friendship is/was unreasonable at this point.*
I agree her ending it actually was a relief. It was a hard situation to navigate. Always negotiating what and when we would could see each other. What she was allowed to do. She had to have permission it seemed.*
When she broke things off I thanked her for trying her best. She did try. I tried too, but we are two different personalities that clashed hard. We got along for the most part. It was when my needs for attention and communication came into play that made it not work.
That is my version and what I saw/felt like. Her version is totally different and thats ok.
I have no regrets. The only thing I regret is how I reacted.
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  #12  
Old 03-17-2014, 08:39 PM
vanquish vanquish is offline
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That makes a lot of sense. I'm sorry you suffered through it, but I'm sure you've learned a lot.
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Me - male, 42, poly, straight, in a serious relationship with Audrey, also casually dating.

Audrey - female, 20, poly, pansexual, also casually dating.
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  #13  
Old 03-18-2014, 02:56 PM
juber juber is offline
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Thank you for posting this. I'm in the husbands position right this moment. My wife recently came to me and explained that she needed a GF (I knew she was Bi when we married).

The main difference in my world is that I completely support my wife and her new GF. We do have the complication that her GF lives several hundred miles away.

Some men are fine with a casual "friends with benefits" situation but if they see their wife becoming emotionally entangled they get threatened. It sounds like cutting this off is the way it needs to go.

I'm so sorry you're hurting like you are. I hope you can find happiness.
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