So, currently married to "Don", and have been together for 6 years now. Generally happy.
"Tom" is a new guy at work, been there 4 months or so. I didn't pay a whole lot of attention to him... I trained him at first, and he kind of did his own thing for awhile, but my primary partners have left, and I've been finding myself drawn to him... The more I work with him, the more I realize how freaking awesome he is.
I developed a very sudden, very hard crush on him.
I would notice how tall he is, and heart would skip a beat a little, or He'd look at me with his very kind brown eyes and I'd get so happy.
We had an issue at work with someone getting upset that I had a new partner. I felt like I had to get rid of Tom in order not to upset the other person.
What better way to do this than tell him?
Anyway, so I tell him in a hysterical ramble "I miss my old partners and you are filling that void in my heart (he hugs me at this point), I feel really awkward and this is weird and it makes no sense and the whole thing is stupid but I feel so high when I'm with you, and its amazing and I have feelings for you and the last time I did this, I ruined a previous friendship and ugh I just feel awful, and Don knows about this and he's fine so dont worry about that and stuff."
(Something to that effect)
He said something to the effect of "No youre fine! Our friendship isnt ruined. Everything will be the same. I didn't see this coming, where was this in high school?" (We didnt go to the same HS, or even knew eachother then)
Anyway, that was about the extent of it. He didn't seem shocked or appalled that a married woman just confessed her love. He didn't really seem to reciprocate the feelings either though. It was kind of like "Oh, okay!"
and I FEEL SO AWKWARD ABOUT THE WHOLE THING.
I was expecting shocked and appalled like the previous time!
But I got such a neutral response. I'm not sure how to take it.
I rambled on later to him about how I was probably going to push him away cuz it will be awkward for me now and stuff...
...so today I brought his christmas presents. He made effort to force me to talk, and it wasnt awkward and I was so happy because he still wanted to be friends.
Is it common/normal to have such a "meh" response? I was expecting one extreme or the other.
Do you think that maybe he kind of feels things for me too, but wouldnt say them because he's a.) Afraid of Don or b.) Doesn't understand polyamory? Possibly?
I told him I wanted to forget that yesterday even happened because its so awkward for me, but he seems completely unfazed by it....
So I'm kind of afraid to bring it up again in a "Hey btw, what are your feelings for me like?" or "Don's okay with us if you are because polyamory!"
I feel like I'll continue pretending it didn't happen.... and just admire him from within... and wait to see if he comes around. :\