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Old 03-12-2014, 03:07 AM
AndyinMN AndyinMN is offline
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Default Bipolar and Poly?

Hello everyone.

I am new here apparently. I thought I had posted here in the past, but maybe the boards were redone? Not sure.

My name is Andy, I am 29, married but "poly single" (ladies?) hehe and live in the frozen wasteland we call Minnesota.

I am not really new to poly. We have been at it for 4 years or so. Mixed success, but I keep trying.

What I want some input on is peoples experiences with bipolar disorder.
I will start off saying that I don't judge people with mental illness. I myself have traits of bipolar II, though I am not formally diagnosed. This isn't a bashing topic.

The last two woman I have met were admittedly bipolar. Getting to know both was fantastic. The first date was fantastic. Both abruptly lost interest after the first date and everything cesed.

Past this, looking back, the vast majority of the women I have dated in the poly world have exhibited signs of this disorder. Along with my own tendencies, this has lead me to ponder if there is a conneciton between the appeal of a poly lifestyle and bipolar disorder.

Again, I really want to stress this isn't meant as a judgment. I would happily date a bipolar woman if I met one with chemistry.

If anyone IS bipolar here and willing to admit it, I would love to hear how poly dating has been for you and what you've struggled with in relation to bipolar, and if you have dated a bipolar man or woman, I would love to hear how it went and if it did or is working out.
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Old 03-12-2014, 04:45 AM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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Nope not bipolar...

Never met a poly person who was. My poly friends are actually pretty even tempered.

What I have noticed is quite a few INTJ personality types.
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Old 03-12-2014, 05:08 AM
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Minus the two women you said were admittedly bi-polar how do you know the rest were actually bi-polar? As a health professional and someone with a very close relative that struggles with bi-polar, it is much more than just a person that has mood swings. And just because a person has mood swings on occasion does not mean that they have a mental disorder.
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Old 03-12-2014, 12:28 PM
AndyinMN AndyinMN is offline
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Thanks for the replies so far.

I am an INFJ. I am not sure what others I have dated are. That would be interesting to explore as well.

MsChristy - I don't know that they were bipolar. Just suspect it from behavior. It was more than just having some down days here and there. Two had some pretty serious depression issues, but that doesn't automatically mean bipolar either.
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Old 03-12-2014, 12:59 PM
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Inyourendo Inyourendo is online now
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i have bipolar 2. I do have long cycles through low levels of mania and depression and id say that im more open to polyamory when manic and not interested at all during the rest of the time. Partially why I only actively sought out new partners when I was manic. I do go through bouts of paranoia but im very good at telling myself that what im experiencing is all in my head. I do not have sudden mood awings, just long cycles. My personality type is ESTJ ( mentioning that since someone else brought up personality type)
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Old 03-12-2014, 01:02 PM
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I would say if you consistently are only getting first dates it might be a good idea to ask them to honestly tell you why that is. Perhaps something you are putting out there is turning women off
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Old 03-12-2014, 02:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AndyinMN View Post
I am new here apparently. I thought I had posted here in the past, but maybe the boards were redone? Not sure.
Nope, not redone. I remember you. I think this is your original profile: Andy4700

Quote:
Originally Posted by AndyinMN View Post
The last two woman I have met were admittedly bipolar. Getting to know both was fantastic. The first date was fantastic. Both abruptly lost interest after the first date and everything cesed.

Past this, looking back, the vast majority of the women I have dated in the poly world have exhibited signs of this disorder . . .
Don't know what to tell you except that perhaps you usually find yourself attracted to a certain kind of personality. Start looking at more of their common traits and see if you can step out of your comfort zone to ask out women who aren't your usual type.

I also think the term "bipolar" is bandied about a bit too casually. Some people who haven't actually been diagnosed with it are simply moody, but they get labeled or label themselves bipolar for a little added drama.
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Old 03-12-2014, 04:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
I also think the term "bipolar" is bandied about a bit too casually. Some people who haven't actually been diagnosed with it are simply moody, but they get labeled or label themselves bipolar for a little added drama.
I agree that the term bi-polar is thrown around way to much. It may be one of the first things people think of with mood disorders, but there are countless other mental illnesses. Or a person could simply be moody/having a bad day/stressed.
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Old 03-12-2014, 05:37 PM
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I'm not bipolar. My mom is Type 1, she's not poly. My girlfriend is Type 2 rapid cycling, she is poly.

I don't have any concrete statistics, but I've never noticed any correlation personally. Being as I've lived with a severely bipolar parent my whole life, I consider myself to be fairly well educated and experienced on the disorder. I've also been poly my whole life, so I consider myself fairly well educated and experienced on that as well. Thus, it's with reasonable confidence that I say, I don't see any traits in either that make the other more likely to coincide.

True, people in a mania tend to lose sight of reason and do things they wouldn't ordinarily do, and sure that can include seeking relationships or having lots of meaningless sex (like Auto used to do before she was diagnosed and treated). But I wouldn't classify "the things you do during a mania" as representative of "who you really are inside." For example, and feel free to disagree, but I wouldn't say Inyourendo is poly "because" she seeks other partners when she's in a mania; rather that she is poly because she identifies as poly, but she happens to only seek other partners when she's in a mania.

I could just as easily say that the tendency is that people with bipolar disorder, or bipolar-like-traits, are attracted to others with bipolar-like-traits. I know my mom always hits it off right away with anyone she meets who's bipolar. Similarly, poly folk are generally attracted to other poly folk. So being as you're poly and with bipolar-like-traits, it's conceivable that you attract poly folk who happen to have bipolar-like-traits.

In other words, it's not us, it's you I say that completely good-naturedly.
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Last edited by SchrodingersCat; 03-12-2014 at 05:47 PM.
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Old 03-12-2014, 06:44 PM
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Runic Wolf is Type II Bipolar. He's poly. The only effect that I really see is when he perceives that things are going poorly in a relationship, he gets really depressed or when he's going through a deep depressive cycle, he often worries about losing his relationships. When things are going well, it adds to the manic phase or can temporarily pull him out of a longer depressive phase. He was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder due to medical drug testing on him while he was in the service - he had a psychotic break as a rare side effect to a drug. We'd been married 2 years and together 4 at that point. I would say that when he is manic, he is more of the man that I married and dated. But the depressive phase triggers many issues from his childhood that I didn't know about because he'd been able to conquer them before the bipolar.
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