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  #61  
Old 03-14-2014, 01:06 PM
polybynature polybynature is offline
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Originally Posted by kdt26417 View Post
It sounds like about the only thing you can do about your boyfriend's marital problems is to wait until he is ready to free himself from that marriage. Are you of the firm opinion that he should leave his wife? (I'm guessing yes, but I always hesitate to assume.)
Yeah Kdt, I am. I don't want to see him hurt anymore, and he would be brilliant out on his own. Wait I shall, unfortunate I'm the impatient type, but im learning
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  #62  
Old 03-14-2014, 09:01 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Well, maybe he can detach himself little by little. Keep us posted.
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  #63  
Old 03-20-2014, 02:22 PM
polybynature polybynature is offline
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Originally Posted by smithhiles View Post
The parteners may face problems when they do not understand each other well.So,inorder to get a clear understanding between them they need to participate in dating and understan each other well..
its well beyond that at this point
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  #64  
Old 03-26-2014, 01:21 PM
polybynature polybynature is offline
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So the saga continues. BF has confided in my spouse about whats going on in the marriage, which I thought was fine and good they are so close. but HUbs ended up telling me not to expect them to divorce and that I need to get over my loathing of the wife and accept that he wants to stay with her despite how badly she treats him and that they currently have no relationship. I talked with him (BF) and he said he wants something back with her eventually...a little bit of romance and sexually connection...I told him as his primary now (which we both agree I am outside sharing finances) it would be extremely difficult to watch him connect with someone I spent over an year bolstering him up while she destroyed him. He didn't get that.

Now I just feel bad. I feel bad they talked (BF and hubs) I feel bad hubs and I talked about it, I feel like everything is fucked up. I want so badly fro him to just leave her because she is so bad for him, and Im not sure I can get past that and be OK with them.
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  #65  
Old 03-26-2014, 01:26 PM
london london is offline
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You can agree all you like. You can't give him what his wife gives him. You have no say where he gets what you can't give. It's that simple.
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  #66  
Old 03-26-2014, 01:27 PM
polybynature polybynature is offline
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im not sure what it is she's giving him. I understand getting things from other partners...but as far as I know, all shes giving him is a hard time.
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  #67  
Old 03-26-2014, 01:34 PM
london london is offline
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I'd argue that's as far as you want to know. She has practical entanglements that you cant offer.
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  #68  
Old 03-26-2014, 02:04 PM
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Hey Poly-

I can relate to what your bf may be going through...Since our open marriage contract, our sex life, although bad before has come to a hault... Her true emotionless self is becoming more visable...She does all this with a smile as if it is acceptable for me because of our new open marriage.

If I can project myself into your bf , I can understand...

Do they stay together for finances?

Is he just afraid of being alone?

Your bf's wife is his plan B. He needs to be a primary to somebody else...Somebody who likes sex... I don't think your bf is poly, just like I don't believe I am poly... I think I am becoming that slowly. I realize that no one person an be everything...

Your bf found a woman who enjoys his company as well as sex...(you).He knows, it may not give him what he truly desires because you are married, and happily in a poy relationship... Your husband and bf even get along well enough for you bf to open up to your husband...

When the time comes and I do find myself in a relationship, I will ostill hang on to that fairytale marriage, even though deep down, that doesn't exist...

If your bf left his wife...What then?

How would he spend his evenings when not with you?

Some days, I feel my wife has no romantic love at all. I wonder if I will ever have that with any woman..

Many many years back while in the Navy, I had the best sexual relationship ever with a stripper... She wasn't a stripper when I met her though.. It was just about sex...no deep love and it was good...it was great..

It really sucks to have feelings for another and hang on to any sliver of love that just may not be there...your bf still loves his wife, even though she may not show him any love..

I bet he bends over backwards to earn her love....
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  #69  
Old 03-26-2014, 02:09 PM
polybynature polybynature is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Smiles View Post
Hey Poly-

I can relate to what your bf may be going through...Since our open marriage contract, our sex life, although bad before has come to a hault... Her true emotionless self is becoming more visable...She does all this with a smile as if it is acceptable for me because of our new open marriage.

If I can project myself into your bf , I can understand...

Do they stay together for finances?

Is he just afraid of being alone?

Your bf's wife is his plan B. He needs to be a primary to somebody else...Somebody who likes sex... I don't think your bf is poly, just like I don't believe I am poly... I think I am becoming that slowly. I realize that no one person an be everything...

Your bf found a woman who enjoys his company as well as sex...(you).He knows, it may not give him what he truly desires because you are married, and happily in a poy relationship... Your husband and bf even get along well enough for you bf to open up to your husband...

When the time comes and I do find myself in a relationship, I will ostill hang on to that fairytale marriage, even though deep down, that doesn't exist...

If your bf left his wife...What then?

How would he spend his evenings when not with you?

Some days, I feel my wife has no romantic love at all. I wonder if I will ever have that with any woman..

Many many years back while in the Navy, I had the best sexual relationship ever with a stripper... She wasn't a stripper when I met her though.. It was just about sex...no deep love and it was good...it was great..

It really sucks to have feelings for another and hang on to any sliver of love that just may not be there...your bf still loves his wife, even though she may not show him any love..

I bet he bends over backwards to earn her love....
Thanks smiles, that is helpful. right now, they have no connection left. No sex, no time together etc. But I think youre right, he still loves her and hes holding onto a dream. and I cant give him anymore because I have a good poly marriage. its hard to feel like my good times with him help him stay in something bad. He says there are good things there too (the marriage) but I don't see them, so its hard. She and I don't talk...I tried at the beginning.

He stays because hes just that nice and loyal. he is one of the most kind hearted people ive ever met, to a fault.
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  #70  
Old 03-26-2014, 03:16 PM
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Yes, that's fits me perfect...I M Mr. Nice guy...There isn't a mean bone in my body...

My daughter is my world as well...
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