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  #91  
Old 04-17-2014, 06:05 PM
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Smiles Smiles is offline
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Originally Posted by polybynature View Post
I guess this seems harsh but true....but I'm not ready to walk away either. I contemplating fading into a friendship....my sexual attraction is gone for the moment and that makes me sad.

I suppose, if one wants to stay on as a houseboy to reap the benefits of long term friendship (and for you, you have a child so that's much different) that is ones decision. Its just likely that people that get very close may not want to watch it. (that's more a comment on hi mthan you Smiles)
I know where you're coming from. There are many divorced women in our town home community who know the both of us... A few of them asked me how I put up with her attitude... One told me to "man up". Another says the same thing as you.... She actually said " I hate to watch your wife walk all over you". They won't stop being a friend, however they understand I stay for my daughter...I don't believe any of them are interested in anything romantic...They just say I should move on to a woman who will treat me better...

So after my wife being a SAHM for 10 years, she is back at work... Our daughter is in 4th grade and for the past 5 years or so, I've been encouraging her to take some classes to better herself... She never did... Now she has a $17,000 year income... She should be earning way more than that...

I feel that she is my responsibility...it's still a long way off until our daughter moves out...

Our open marriage is just the start of my departure...I am not in a big hurry, I am just developing female friends... I still don't have a clue if any are attracted to me. I am kind of a nerd in that department...
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  #92  
Old 04-24-2014, 12:39 PM
polybynature polybynature is offline
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so...since she said she was leaving, then took it back, and hes just going along for the ride I got off the train. feel pretty shitty
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  #93  
Old 04-24-2014, 03:40 PM
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I can feel your frustration now...

If you get off that train, if doesn't mean you can't get back on later on...You may not want to

Maybe you have to let him reach his bottom... With you gone, he may get there faster...


Why do you care so much about him? Just wondering...
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  #94  
Old 04-24-2014, 03:48 PM
polybynature polybynature is offline
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I can feel your frustration now...

If you get off that train, if doesn't mean you can't get back on later on...You may not want to

Maybe you have to let him reach his bottom... With you gone, he may get there faster...


Why do you care so much about him? Just wondering...
yeah, we'll see. we termed it a break, but it all depends on what happens.

I care so much because I love him so much
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  #95  
Old 04-25-2014, 12:14 AM
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yeah, we'll see. we termed it a break, but it all depends on what happens.

I care so much because I love him so much
What does your hubby say in all this? Not that it should matter to him...if you bf hangs out with the two of you, I would think your hubby would waked him up.
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  #96  
Old 04-25-2014, 05:24 AM
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Hubby told her to back off. She didn't listen
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  #97  
Old 04-25-2014, 05:33 AM
london london is offline
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So the saga continues. BF has confided in my spouse about whats going on in the marriage, which I thought was fine and good they are so close. but HUbs ended up telling me not to expect them to divorce and that I need to get over my loathing of the wife and accept that he wants to stay with her despite how badly she treats him and that they currently have no relationship. I talked with him (BF) and he said he wants something back with her eventually...a little bit of romance and sexually connection...I told him as his primary now (which we both agree I am outside sharing finances) it would be extremely difficult to watch him connect with someone I spent over an year bolstering him up while she destroyed him. He didn't get that.
This was her opportunity to reinstall boundaries and back off but the Op was unable to keep out of her ex boyfriend's marriage.
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  #98  
Old 04-28-2014, 02:48 PM
polybynature polybynature is offline
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This was her opportunity to reinstall boundaries and back off but the Op was unable to keep out of her ex boyfriend's marriage.
In all fairness, he was also dragging me into it with play by plays etc.
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  #99  
Old 04-28-2014, 02:49 PM
polybynature polybynature is offline
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What does your hubby say in all this? Not that it should matter to him...if you bf hangs out with the two of you, I would think your hubby would waked him up.
What I wote about by husband that London quoted, was a few weeks ago and a lot has happened since then. My spouse still likes him as a friend, and I still might be with him again eventually, but he agrees stuff was too messed up for me to carry on a romantic relationship right now. He thinks BF should leave her as much as I do, but neither of us can effect that and I cant watch the roller coaster ride. so ive made some distance
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  #100  
Old 04-28-2014, 03:25 PM
london london is offline
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Reinstalling boundaries would have meant him not doing that. He would keep his problems to himself.
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