Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #31  
Old 03-02-2014, 12:42 PM
ate2007 ate2007 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Jacksomville, FL
Posts: 27
Default

Sooo...we didn't get to talk this weekend. She bought her little girl with her to visit and we didn't have the privacy or time to chat about this. Now this conversation will happen over the phone this week.
Reply With Quote
  #32  
Old 03-05-2014, 02:58 PM
ate2007 ate2007 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Jacksomville, FL
Posts: 27
Default

Problem solved! Thank you to everyone who took the time out to respond to this post. It truly helped.
Reply With Quote
  #33  
Old 03-05-2014, 04:51 PM
Magdlyn's Avatar
Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 4,283
Default

Problem solved? No more blue vagina?
__________________
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. --Shaw

me: Mags, female, pansexual, poly, 59, loving and living with
miss pixi, female, pansexual, poly, 37
Reply With Quote
  #34  
Old 03-05-2014, 04:53 PM
ate2007 ate2007 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Jacksomville, FL
Posts: 27
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Problem solved? No more blue vagina?
LOL, we agreed on a compromise. So it'll happen soon enough
Reply With Quote
  #35  
Old 03-05-2014, 04:54 PM
Magdlyn's Avatar
Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 4,283
Default

Well, a compromise isn't exactly a solution, but I hope "soon enough" is really OK with you.
__________________
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. --Shaw

me: Mags, female, pansexual, poly, 59, loving and living with
miss pixi, female, pansexual, poly, 37
Reply With Quote
  #36  
Old 03-05-2014, 04:56 PM
ate2007 ate2007 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Jacksomville, FL
Posts: 27
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Well, a compromise isn't exactly a solution, but I hope "soon enough" is really OK with you.
Soon enough is within 2 months. I'm letting her make the 1st move. I'm totally fine with that.
Reply With Quote
  #37  
Old 03-05-2014, 05:24 PM
Marcus's Avatar
Marcus Marcus is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Richardson, TX
Posts: 1,352
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ate2007 View Post
Soon enough is within 2 months. I'm letting her make the 1st move. I'm totally fine with that.
The decision to have (or not have) sex with someone should be made according to mutual desire not an arbitrary schedule. Do you feel confident that this is a healthy "compromise"? How does she know there will be a fundamental change in her sex drive / orientation in this time period?
__________________
Me: male, 40, straight, single
Reply With Quote
  #38  
Old 03-05-2014, 06:13 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 8,338
Default

Did she share her reasons with you? Just curious about the basis for her wanting such a long delay. Is it just because this is new to her?
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
Reply With Quote
  #39  
Old 03-05-2014, 06:38 PM
Lostatsea Lostatsea is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 9
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ate2007 View Post
So how long do you wait for sex in a new relationship?
I've with my GF for about 3, going on 4 months. We've made out and touched and everything but no sex. She's a total tease, too, which makes it hard for me not to jump her when I see her. She wants to take it slow but...jeez, how is 3-4 months not slow? Am I being impatient? How long should I wait?
The real question is "Is she worth the wait to you or is having sex right now more important to you than she is?" Everyone progresses or not in any relationship according to their comfort zone.
Reply With Quote
  #40  
Old 03-05-2014, 08:13 PM
ate2007 ate2007 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Jacksomville, FL
Posts: 27
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcus View Post
The decision to have (or not have) sex with someone should be made according to mutual desire not an arbitrary schedule. Do you feel confident that this is a healthy "compromise"? How does she know there will be a fundamental change in her sex drive / orientation in this time period?
I believe it is a healthy compromise. There's nothing wrong with her sex drive (it's quite high) or orientation. She says she's just nervous due to the strong feelings we have for one another.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
bisexual, girl on girl, sex, wait

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 03:21 AM.