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  #1  
Old 02-13-2014, 11:55 PM
KerryRen KerryRen is offline
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Hi. Not really where to start, which usually means I ramble or say too little.

We are a couple, I'm a 39F and he's a 51M. We're in Spokane, WA. Our marriage has been open from the getgo, but monogamous by default, because finding appropriate people to join the marriage has been difficult.

I've done poly before, as a teenager, but would say my initial trio imploded in part due to a failure to communicate expectations on everyone's part. Also, teenage angst and self-discovery is not, I think, good for the longevity of any relationship.

Monogamy is the acceptable social default but it has not, for me, ever felt complete.
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Old 02-14-2014, 08:29 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Greetings KerryRen,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Monogamy is acceptable here as well -- but it's certainly not the default! I hope you'll find a host of affirmations that poly and open relationships can and do work. I recommend the book "Opening Up: a guide to creating and sustaining open relationships," by Tristan Taormino ... and I recommend the Life stories and blogs board on this site.

As for finding people to join the marriage: start with Dating & Friendships subforum, turn to OKCupid and PolyMatchMaker, then seek poly groups in your area by googling "Spokane polyamory" or "Washington State polyamory." I can provide other links/ideas ...

Hope you'll find thoughts and advice that help you on your poly journey. Polyamory.com has a lot of collective wisdom and should serve you well.

Regards,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

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Welcome aboard!
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Old 02-15-2014, 08:48 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KerryRen View Post
Also, teenage angst and self-discovery is not, I think, good for the longevity of any relationship.
lol true dat. Teenage years are good for starting the journey of self-discovery, but it by no means ends there. Pretty much all the lessons I thought I learned as a teenager were invalidated by the gradual levelling of hormones and experience.

Have you considered a different approach than finding people to "join" your marriage? It's pretty impossible for someone to come in to an established relationship and catch-up on years of bonding and mutual-discovery. What about dating people separately?
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Old 02-15-2014, 03:11 PM
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alibabe_muse alibabe_muse is offline
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Hi KerryRen! I'm just east of you over in Post Falls. Welcome to the forum. There's lots here to read, ask questions any time. There's a "professional" poly group on meetup but the free poly group just disappeared. I haven't been to any but am open to making new friends.
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