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Old 05-21-2014, 03:12 AM
Lithandaz Lithandaz is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: elgin, oregon
Posts: 15
Red face finally honest with ourselves and others

my husband and i have been together for 12 years. we have never been truly traditional in a sense. from the beginning of our relationship to now we have discussed other women being in our lives and having poly relationships. we have had our three somes or what not but what slowed us down was the fact that we started having kids and all the hormones that go with it. he deployed to iraq which didnt help. i was unsure about myself. i hated myself cuz i thought i wasnt what he wanted and i got really jealous and all that crazy stuff. i was also afraid that since i had kids now that my kids would like the other woman better or my kids will get taken away. or my kids would hate me cuz i wanted the poly lifestyle. i was afraid my family wouldnt except it and push me away. my husband didnt care what everyone thought and didnt understand why i felt that way, it drove him nuts. i decided to make life changes and decided what i truly wanted in my life. i sat down with my kids and told them about how i felt and the lifestyle i wanted and i was completely honest. they both told me they love me no matter what and accept the new life and is excited for us to find the right person. then i told family and all i got was support and love, and it made me cry. i know im saying i alot,i just havent gotten to hubbys yet lol. i was happy and proud and discussed it with hubby. we agree that this is our life and that we been wanting it for 12 years, but i got lost on the way. he told his family about it and the ones who do not accept this cut us out of their lives. in my honest opinion, more love the merrier. and if they dont accept it then its on them cuz they are missing out. i decided they will never bring me down or change my mind. my husband just said screw them lol. ever since we decided to continue with our poly lives we have been in a relationship with a lady that didnt end up working out. she ended up not wanting this lifestyle. its fine cuz its not for everyone and we are still really good friends. now we are seeking our triad. and were not having such luck. and im thinking its how i did the profiles or something, i feel like im missing a connection somewhere. but were not giving up. and this is where we are today. any suggestions?
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Old 05-21-2014, 03:36 AM
Lithandaz Lithandaz is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: elgin, oregon
Posts: 15
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i do know that i do sound young and dumb. im really not. i have social anxiety and even online, public profiling myself makes me nervous and full of anxiety. so i ramble or mis say what i truly want to say. its easier for me 1 on 1 but im really trying to work on my phobia and speaking out. so if you questions or anything i will honestly tell u the answer and if u dont understand what im saying i will have my husband respond, thanks for the understanding
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