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Old 12-15-2014, 06:09 AM
lemonhead lemonhead is offline
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 12
Default Facebook group for triads

Hi everyone!

We are not on here much (we being myself, my male partner who is not a member here and my female partner who is on here but prefers to keep this as a safe space to post issues semi-anonymously so I don't know her screen name), but I wanted to post in case anyone here could benefit from this.

We've started a Facebook group that is meant to be a supportive environment for triads. For now, it's a closed group (not secret), so that we can easily add people with whom we're not (yet) Facebook friends. Once we have a few people added and presumably those people can add people they're FB friends with, we'll change the group status to Secret and change the group name.

Here's the group description. If it sounds like a good fit for you, please request to join!

"This is a positive and supportive group for members of triads.
We encourage membership of all three members of your triad when possible, mostly because we don't wish for this to be a venting space for one member of a triad. Obviously circumstances will not always allow for all three members to belong to the group - just a suggestion.

In the future we may discuss opening the group up to Vees and Quads. For now we wish this to be a space for active and functioning triads.

Please note: if your relationship breaks up, you won't have to leave the group! We may also look at welcoming people who have been part of a long-term triad in the past. This will depend on future group discussion.


This is a safe space to discuss the logistics and unique issues of a triad - everything from emotional issues and jealousy and how to structure a relationship (anniversaries, dates, making sure each person's needs are met), to logistical issues like finances, living arrangements or sleeping arrangements, to family discussions regarding parenting and more.

If you are not already well-versed in couple privilege, please educate yourself before engaging in discussion on this group. A great place to start: http://tacit.livejournal.com/578925.html.

Please keep your responses solution-oriented. Trash-talking other triad members or exes, etc, will not be tolerated. This space should be supportive, accepting and positive whenever it makes sense.

IMPORTANT: this is a feminist space, inclusive to all genders, orientations, and identities. Failure to be inclusive or work for a safe space in this regard will not be tolerated. This doesn't mean you can't make mistakes, but each member needs to be making a real effort in this regard. Trigger warnings (where necessary) are appreciated."

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Old 12-15-2014, 07:41 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,487

Hmmm... I never know whether "Triad" implies "closed" or "poly-fi". I don't know whether I would be welcome in such a group or not. My immediate polycule is essentially a "W" where both of the girls are involved to some degree with each of the 3 guys and with each other. So there are several triads involved: Me-Lotus-Dude, Me-Lotus-MrS, Me-Lotus-TT. The Me-Lotus-Dude triad is closed, the others are open in that MrS and TT are free to seek other partners.

At any rate, I'm the only one of us who frequents poly boards, so no version of "all three" could be represented...
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (23+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (4+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi married (to TT) female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS (1+ years)
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

Last edited by JaneQSmythe; 12-15-2014 at 07:44 AM.
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Old 12-15-2014, 03:30 PM
lemonhead lemonhead is offline
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 12

Hey Jane

It's meant to be helpful/supportive to anyone who identifies as being part of a triad. So if you think discussion of living as a group of three would be helpful to you or you would want to take part in that based on your constellation, you would be welcome.

Of course we understand that there are often groups where only one or a handful of the members enjoy online discussion. The disclaimer is meant more to deter people from keeping it as a space to vent about their partners. We feel it's important to have a safe space to be anonymous and vent or whatever, but this isn't meant to be that space. We can't actually control this one or how many members of the group join, so it was meant as more a guiding note.
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