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Old 05-16-2015, 03:35 PM
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Default Sex drive & poly

Is there a correlation between higher sex drives and polyamory? I'll admit that my experience is limited (only been in a poly relationship less than 2 years), but it seems the poly people I've met irl, and many that post on here, have higher than average sex drives/greater frequency? Do you think my experience is skewed or do you think poly people have sex more often than non-poly people? If so, why? Is it a matter of the more you have it, the more you want it (true for me)? Or, are people with higher sex drives more likely to gravitate towards non-monogamy as a means of fulfilling their desires?

(I did a search but couldn't find any posts specific to this topic.)
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Old 05-16-2015, 03:48 PM
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Nate and I have pretty high sex drives. He and I usually have sex daily and I usually masturbate a few times a week ( as a sleep aid ). Even if nate and I have sex with others that day we still have sex with each other.
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Old 05-16-2015, 03:54 PM
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Nate enjoys the excitement of hunting new women and talking to them before hooking up. As a single monogamous man he didn't have casual sex because he didn't want women getting attached to him when he wasn't interested in them romantically. He loves our situation because the women he screws know that all they will ever be is friends (he doesn'twant anyanything beyond that because he isn't willing to devote time and energy in more relationships).
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Old 05-16-2015, 06:11 PM
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My sex drive varies, due to depression and PTSD. But it doesn't really matter whether or how much I want it, I can't bring myself to ask for it, so even though I have two men in my life, I have less sex than most mono people I know.
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Old 05-16-2015, 06:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KC43 View Post
My sex drive varies, due to depression and PTSD. But it doesn't really matter whether or how much I want it, I can't bring myself to ask for it, so even though I have two men in my life, I have less sex than most mono people I know.
Yes, the idea some have looking in from outside that polyamory is one huge orgy is a bit silly. Having said that, I'd be surprised if there wasn't a correlation between higher *average* sex drive and polyamory. More sexual variation, more sexual frequency, more sexual intensity, more sexual freedom all of these things can raise sex drive and may naturally appeal to people with higher sex drive too.
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Old 05-16-2015, 06:25 PM
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Originally Posted by Halcyeus View Post
Yes, the idea some have looking in from outside that polyamory is one huge orgy is a bit silly. Having said that, I'd be surprised if there wasn't a correlation between higher *average* sex drive and polyamory. More sexual variation, more sexual frequency, more sexual intensity, more sexual freedom all of these things can raise sex drive and may naturally appeal to people with higher sex drive too.
Absolutely! Totally agree with this.
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Old 05-16-2015, 06:31 PM
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Obviously, I realize that sex drives change a lot, depending on where we are in our lives, our health condition, the state of our relationship(s) with our partner(s), and generally how busy/crazy our lives are.

It's just curiosity for me is why I ask

As for my situation, my partner Blue has a high sex drive. His preference is multiple times/day. While his sex drive is not why he's poly, being poly certainly helps in that area. My preference is daily, with the occasional day off. It was definitely an issue in my marriage because my ex was more average.
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Old 05-16-2015, 07:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PinkPig View Post
As for my situation, my partner Blue has a high sex drive. His preference is multiple times/day. While his sex drive is not why he's poly, being poly certainly helps in that area. My preference is daily, with the occasional day off. It was definitely an issue in my marriage because my ex was more average.
Daily, with the occasional day off sounds about right to me, too. Twice a day is great too, three times a day or more and I begin to want to hide, especially if the sex is drawn out and fervent. Right now my situation is exhausting in that I've fallen for two people. They're both highly sexed, not seeing anyone else regularly so want to see me a lot, more experienced than me and the NRE is hitting them hard, so I'm struggling to keep up. To be honest I could use a couple of days off by myself just to get some sleep and exercise.
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Old 05-16-2015, 11:49 PM
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Ooooh, I'm jealous, Halcyeus!

I don't have a firm understanding of how strong my sex drive is generally. During most of my marriage, our sex life was pretty terrible and I didnt really wanna have sex at all and didn't feel like I missed it. But for the last 3 years or so I've been pretty insatiable, which was mostly bc my circumstances changed.

I have a feeling that imf I could get into a stable pattern it would be nearly every day, with a day off every once in a while.
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Old 05-17-2015, 12:13 AM
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I'm insatiable, and it's what got me into poly. Now that I have two partners, I'm still needing it all the time, but I'm poly because of the love we share, not because of my horniness!
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