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View Poll Results: Do you actually have open relationships without any kind of limits?~
Yes, no limits at all.~ 6 14.29%
I have open relationships, but there are some limits.~ 26 61.90%
No, I have closed relationships.~ 4 9.52%
I'm not sure.~ 3 7.14%
Other.~ 3 7.14%
Voters: 42. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 10-24-2013, 06:12 PM
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ColorsWolf ColorsWolf is offline
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Question Open Relationships Without Limits

How many of you actually have open relationships without any kind of limits what so ever?~

Personally, I just don't see any reason to try to stop myself from loving some one in any way, in fact I openly encourage every one to explore all their feelings for any one, and I just don't understand all these "labels" or "names" or "categories" for things.~ Any kind of "limits" seem "artificial" to me.~

I just don't see these "limits" others seem to see in such abundance.~

I don't understand "hierarchies" as I don't see love that way: I see love as each love is different and unique in its' own way.~

When it comes to sexual attraction: I don't see that as a "limit" or an "obstacle" either, I am attracted to some one for who they are as a whole person.~

Although sexually, I have almost no experience what so ever as it just hasn't happened yet beyond 1 or 2 chance experiences where they simply rubbed up against me for about a second.~ Although, I don't believe it is necessary to be sexually involved with some one as a requirement to love them.~

So again:

How many of you actually have open relationships without any kind of limits what so ever?~

Did it come naturally for you?~

Were there struggles?~

If it didn't come to be at first, how did you end up with seeing things like this?~

Do you still use "labels" such as "Primary" as in "My First Love", "Secondary" as in "My Second Love", and so on?~

Do you have "hierarchies of love"?~
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Last edited by ColorsWolf; 10-24-2013 at 07:08 PM.
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  #2  
Old 10-24-2013, 06:22 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Nope.. never have..

Something always has priority. Kids, life, work.. etc.. there are always limits to how you can physically love.

Has my "love" ever been unlimited. Sure. But everything around it gets a reality check.

And yes I still use labels. Using labels in a descriptive way is very very different than using them prescriptively.
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Old 10-24-2013, 06:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
Nope.. never have..

Something always has priority. Kids, life, work.. etc.. there are always limits to how you can physically love.

Has my "love" ever been unlimited. Sure. But everything around it gets a reality check.

And yes I still use labels. Using labels in a descriptive way is very very different than using them prescriptively.
By "you" I am guessing you mean yourself.~

I don't try to force other people to think or live like I do, nor do I judge them and I would appreciate it if I was shown the same respect in return.~
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Last edited by ColorsWolf; 10-24-2013 at 06:36 PM.
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Old 10-24-2013, 07:13 PM
pulliman pulliman is offline
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I have a hard time thinking about what you write, because I see you combining open and closed with limits and limitations. I think they're different things.

My time is limited. I'm married and like spending time with my wife, I've got kids and do active parenting, I've got someone that my wife and I are both really hungry to spend as much time with as possible, I've got a long distance relationship which involves a lot of communication, I try to keep my body in shape, I try to keep in touch with my large and spread-out family, I've got work, ...

What you might call limits (and what might sound like it when I write) are priorities. There are only so many hours in a day. I suppose that having the priorities I have, while feeling sated with the love(rs) in my life, means I'm in a closed relationship... but, um, three of them? So no, the words don't really match up at all. I have limitations on my time, but that doesn't affect how closed or open I am in my relationships.

Not sure I'm making sense, but in part because I don't feel the question as posed makes sense to me. Can you clarify?
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Old 10-24-2013, 08:03 PM
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I have no limits placed upon my relationship with Murf other than the fact that I cannot legally marry him too.
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Old 10-24-2013, 08:35 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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So-do you mean limits as in-rules against certain things. Or do you mean limits in its broader sense.
Because I agree with Ariakas. Life creates limits when we make choices.
If I choose to go to town today, I am limited by not being in the valley. If I choose to stay in the valley, can am limited by not being in town.

Likewise, if I choose to attend all of my children's life events, I am limited in my ability to be having sex during those times BECAUSE I do not choose to subject my children to that behavior. This means I am limited because of my own chosen priorities.

Likewise-in my relationships, we all have similar priorities (though not identical) the ones that are the same, include attending all of the kids events. THAT MEANS that anyone who wants to date one of us but DOES NOT want contact with the rest of us is limited by OUR priority to be at our children's events-because we WILL all be there. So they can't go if they want to avoid one or another of us. Now this isn't a "rule". It's just a reality of the consequences of limitations that come with our personal priorities which happen to align.
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  #7  
Old 10-24-2013, 09:42 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ColorsWolf View Post
By "you" I am guessing you mean yourself.~

I don't try to force other people to think or live like I do, nor do I judge them and I would appreciate it if I was shown the same respect in return.~
My you was undirected. Just a statement. When I post, I try not to prescribe, regardless of my personal opinion.

I don't have enough time and space to ever be limitless in my ability to offer love. Kudos to anyone who can

Last edited by Ariakas; 10-24-2013 at 09:49 PM.
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  #8  
Old 10-24-2013, 10:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
My you was undirected. Just a statement. When I post, I try not to prescribe, regardless of my personal opinion.

I don't have enough time and space to ever be limitless in my ability to offer love. Kudos to anyone who can
Ah, thank you for clarifying then.~
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  #9  
Old 10-24-2013, 10:59 PM
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ColorsWolf ColorsWolf is offline
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The things that many of you are saying I don't consider "limitations" but "circumstances".~

I am of a different mindset I suppose, because I am happy to share my life with whomever loves me in return but if circumstances happen where we become separated for a time, then I will appreciate the time we do have together.~ I do not know how often this will happen since I have just begun my traveling adventurous life.~

And if another person should come along whom I also fall in love with and they love me in return I would very much want them to get along with my other lovers as I don't go out of my way to make sure they meet nor do I make sure they do not ever meet.~ What happens, happens.~

I don't see emotions especially love as having any kind of "limit" or "running thin" or "running out" as if they were some kinds of commodities, so I don't believe in a "limit" to the number of people I may fall in love with.~

What ever circumstances happen, happen.~ I'm not going to "frazzle" or stress myself out coming up with countless HUGE "daily planner" schedules for "quality time" as I don't like schedules I take things as they come.~

What I mean by "limits" are things like, "Oh I can't get involved with you because I don't have the time to be alone with you.".~ Alone time?~ If have an opportunity to be with someone and someone else at the same time, of course I'm going to involve them both:why wouldn't I?~ ^_^

I suppose I see things much more simply than many people.~
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*Believe in yourself, you can do anything*!~ ^_^

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Last edited by ColorsWolf; 10-24-2013 at 11:03 PM.
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  #10  
Old 10-25-2013, 12:27 AM
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We don't have limits per se, but we have expressed preferences before. Not rules, but a discussion of what makes us uncomfortable or needs/wants we have.

We do use the term secondary, but in a descripter sense. Just an expression of how much they're involved in our day to day life.
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