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Old 01-29-2014, 04:51 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 6,262

Thirdly, I agree with everybody that this has progressed too quickly. How does one back off, cool things down, without hurting the other?
How about something like....
"This is going way too fast for me. I'd like to slow it down. I need to feel more stable in this. Since that ring thing caused a hooha, let's just leave talk of rings and serious committment off the table for a while and focus more on getting to know each other better.

Could you be willing to spend time getting to know each other better at THIS point in time and not talk of deep committment until a LATER point in time? Like X months?"
Nothing there is hurtful words. He is either willing to participate in this way or not.

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Old 01-29-2014, 05:44 PM
vanquish vanquish is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Montgomery, AL
Posts: 303

The portion in blue sounds perfect. Well-written and spot-on for what seems to be needed.
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Old 01-29-2014, 09:16 PM
XCountrygirl XCountrygirl is offline
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 7

Thanks to all who have been trying to help.

So, the BF and I had a long, heart-to-heart about this, where I finally asked point-blank what the real issue is/was. He answered honestly, we argued, cried, and I have come to a better understanding of who he is, us, and how to communicate in general, which is something I'm not very good at. As things stand, things are better than ever between us, so thank you.

Why didn't I just cowgirl up and do this in the first place, you ask? Well, because I have a fear of intimacy and was scared that I'd be rejected or scare him off if I told him my true feelings and concerns. I was also wondering if i was making a mountain out of a molehill. Then, I figured that I had nothing to lose by trying because I couldn't feel any worse than I already did, and I'm so glad I did. Finally getting the hang of this communication stuff!
"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." ~ Lao Tzu
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