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  #41  
Old 04-30-2014, 01:58 PM
vanquish vanquish is offline
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Great night last night. Audrey, her sister and brother-in-law, myself, and our new roommate and friend Minou all sat outside on my huge porch talking and drinking and laughing for what seemed like a glorious eternity. So much fun. Audrey wrapped her hand around my thigh, and flipped her long, lustrous, red hair over my arm wrapped behind her neck, pecking me on the cheek every so often as we drank wine and told stories.

About half way through the night she asked if I wanted to have sex later, which I was more than ready for mentally, but was feeling a bit tired physically. As it turned out, we both were too tired by the end of the night, but she made sure I knew it was going to be on when I come home for lunch today

She made great strides last night when it came to texting. I didn't notice her text anyone the entire night really. That's not me trying to control her relationships, just a comment about how nice it was to get some real quality time without a phone being in the way. I'm sure Amos texted her and there was some level of conversation, but I wasn't focused on it and it didn't get in the way of our amazing time.

This morning after I fed and walked the dogs, as I do every morning before I go to work, Audrey woke up in babygirl mode. It was so sweet. One of my pet names for her is "Kit" or "Kit-Kit" which is the name for a young fox. She makes fox noises and her hands become curled up paws. She digs a hole in my chest with her paws and curls down into my chest. It might sound strange to some, but it makes sense to us. (We're not furries or spirit-animal people, just playful.) I throw my arms around her and she's safe in her little fox hole. When she looks up at me with such adoring eyes, it makes me melt every time. This time she got a coy look on her face...and it turned into a devlish little look. "What is it, Kit?" "Is Papa gonna come home at lunch so we can do what we talked about?" She flashed me a happy, horny grin. "Of course, I am, sweetness." After which she made happy noises and wiggled around all over me and the bed, like a Snoopy dance. Soon after I brought her a glass of milk and her favorite cereal, but I had to be off for work.

What a great morning.
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  #42  
Old 04-30-2014, 03:47 PM
vanquish vanquish is offline
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Not wanting us to get into a rut, I decided to text her this morning. Something flirty and sexy to heighten the anticipation of our lunch time romp. And I'm not getting the response I'd hoped for.

So I text her something devilish...and it takes 30 minutes for her to respond. She'd said this morning before I left that she might go on a walk with one of the dogs to the coffee shop around 10. I didn't stop to think about whether this meant a "date", but she didn't tell me it was a date. Normally, we at least tell each other when we're going on a date. That said, she does enjoy having her dates at the local cafe as it's close and it's an interesting place to see and be seen.

Audrey's schedule each day is pretty much the same thing. Sleep till 11:30 or 12:30. Stay up until 2 or 4 am. Unless she has a photoshoot, she doesn't really have any responsibilities. She'll help me take care of the dogs. She'll work on her garden. She'll feed the cats. Sometimes in a long time she'll clean my living room (the majority of the state of the room is usually hers) or do dishes, but 49 days out of 50, I'm cleaning because it's my house.

If I'm 110% honest, I'm doing the lion's share of the cleaning because I don't want her to retreat back to her own house. If I press the issue, she'll most likely go back and spend more time at her house where there's a mother who does the cleaning. That's not to say she never cleans. And she does about half the cooking. It's a trade off that I'm cognizant of and have made peace with.

All this is to preface the fact that based on her usual schedule, I should have put two and two together that the coffee house at 10 am was possibly a date. As it so happens I just got a text from her that that's exactly what it is, though they've changed the venue.

Of course it makes sense now why the responses are so slow. Which pisses me off. When I'm trying to stoke the fires, trying to be flirty and seductive...to have to wait 20 minutes only to get a one word response...knowing she's out with someone else who she responds to quickly when we're at home...not fun. Not fucking fun.
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  #43  
Old 04-30-2014, 09:02 PM
vanquish vanquish is offline
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Within about an hour from our first exchange, she apologized and told me she was home and that she was sorry for the slow replies. I decided not to make a big deal out of things.

When I got home, she was very affectionate and I reciprocated. We watched the tail end of the movie she had started and then things got frisky. We both got off multiple times and enjoyed ourselves a lot. Hate to sound like someone who misses the forest for the trees (worries too much about his partner getting off so much that it becomes pressure), but that was a big issue with me from my marriage. I didn't pressure her to tell me, but it did come up because she thought that I had cum more than once, so I asked her as well. Going forward, if you read my blog, consider yourself warned that I'll be talking about this and adjust your reading habits accordingly.

Afterwards we went downstairs and made some food. She told me that the new guy had asked her if she had plans tonight and she said she didn't know, at which time she gave me preference to come up with something to do. I really appreciate that. I think Amos is going to be the one that finally, after a year of dating, actually sticks around. I can't say I've been looking forward to this moment, but here's where I get to put up or shut up about being supportive. He's not the handsomest or the richest. He doesn't like the kinds of movies she likes, but she has said she'll "fix that." playfully. That makes me think he'll be around. Compersion, here I come.

I decided I would like to take her to a movie tonight. Not to be a cock-blocking dick, but because I have the money and it would be fun. She smiled and said "I can't make this guy think I'm over-eager, now can I?" It wasn't a mercenary comment...or even pre-planned. Just funny and if you'd seen her face you'd have known that it was a soft smile meant to communicate that I wasn't being territorial and that she enjoys spending time with me. This was all followed up with hugs and kisses and talking about how a Papa can never be replaced.

So...I'm hanging out at the house and doing some work while her Mom has come over (love that woman!) and we decide which movie we're going to go see
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  #44  
Old 05-01-2014, 02:00 PM
vanquish vanquish is offline
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What fun! Last night I treated Audrey and Minou (new roommate) to Indian food and a movie (Captain America: Winter Soldier). I'd forgotten that Spider-Man comes out tonight so it looks like we'll be going back out again to the movies again.

Once we decided to see ASM2 last night, it was only fitting that we stayed up (last night's flick had us up until 1 am) and watched ASM1, since Audrey had never seen it.

Spider-Man has a special place in my favorites because when I was small, my father would walk me around the small town where he was the minister and tell me "Spidey stories" - stories where I was Spider-Man, but no one in the town knew...and I foiled all kinds of nefarious plots of the criminal underground. It just so happens that Audrey is a red-headed model...and she looks a LOT like MJ as drawn by one of my favorite artists (J. Scott Campbell)...so that's another reason why I'm pretty jazzed for the movie.

It was so much fun to stay up watching the movie, keeping the dogs out to play, and cuddling up and being close.
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  #45  
Old 05-06-2014, 03:27 PM
vanquish vanquish is offline
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Yesterday was funny. That's the only word I can come up with right now. Seriously.

In the morning time, Audrey and I had a great time before I left for work. Very playful. Very DD/lg. She stole my shoe so I couldn't get to work and it was the most adorable thing ever. She really lets me know how much she enjoys her time with me and how much I am special to her. Fully suited up, I curled up around her in bed and she wiggled back against me and it was a warm, dreamy heaven. Eventually I went in to work. Got there early even.

So I wasn't getting a lot done due to no fault of my own and I decided to come back home and work on my yard. It's been long over due, so much so that I got an abatement notice from the city. You have to understand, when I asked for my divorce, my ex's family took 2 days to ceremoniously dump all my shit in my back yard and I haven't had the strength to attack that whole issue. It's a swimming pool sized pile of my costuming projects and special papers that have now been rained on and destroyed due to my own weariness and interest in other things...as well as the fact that I got dumped out on my ass.

Turns out a neighbor down the street is trying to sell their house and my overgrown yard and backyard trash brought their price down...so they called the city on me. Gotta love historic districts. It really wasn't that bad, but we're talking very expensive houses where I am, so they get snippy.

Anywho, I came home, got changed into work gear, kissed a very beautiful sleeping Audrey on her forehead then went down to work. An hour and a half later I came back up to let the dogs out and she pulled me into bed with arms like a boa constrictor. We tusseled around and she was about to go back to sleep when I reminded her she had a lunch date and she needed to get up. Yeah me! Trying to help!

Audrey fussed and tussled around and didn't want to get up. She said she wasn't sure she was really interested in this guy as he had a bad haircut and was shorter than she usually liked, but he might be fun to talk to. I said it would be good to get out of the house and who knows, he could be interesting. As she stood there in the bathroom applying her makeup, I sat beside her to keep her company and talk at her request. My lips just inches away from her beautiful hips and stomach, I began kissing every exposed inch I could find. We both enjoyed it. I've watched and helped her get ready for dates many, many times and it's not even close to an issue for me any more. In fact, we usually discuss the guy and it gives me some level of control over the situation.

She walked the 7 or 8 blocks to the coffee shop from my house and met him, checking in by text when she did. To say that the date was a bust would be an understatement. He wasn't fun. He wasn't interesting. He wasn't attractive and he had 3 tattoos, all of which I was assured looked like a 6 year old had drawn them with a Sharpie. I didn't (and am still not) reveling in the failure of the date, but to be completely honest, any time someone doesn't live up to my awesomeness, I breath a sigh of release and have to chuckle a little bit. (I know that sounds slightly dickish, but I don't mean that as arrogantly as it sounds.)

As soon as Audrey got home, she was ready to help me with the yard work, much to my surprise. She really got in there pruning trees, carrying bags, and even mowing areas that I hadn't already. She really enjoyed it and we got a metric fuck-ton done. In the heat of the afternoon, while I was mowing my football field of a front lawn, she made a pitcher of lemonade from scratch and brought it out to me with a kiss. Such a class act.

That night she started to get this dreadful look on her face, so I asked what was up. A guy she's been texting a lot from Baltimore has been requesting that they Skype. I won't say pressuring or insisting, but aggressively requesting. She huffed and pouted that she didn't really want to do it, but there was really no way out of it, based on where their conversations were going.

I suppose I could have asked her to go all the way back to her house (30-45 mins away, one way) to skype him, but I figured I wanted her there with me, so I figured why not let her use my webcam and computer. I told her I was fine with her using my Skype account, but she wanted to use her own. I don't know if that's an indication she hasn't said much about me yet, or just if she wanted to use her own account. As a probe, I asked if she wanted me to leave the room while she skyped him and she said no. That made me happy. The computer is in my downstairs parlor with the tv and the front doorway. I hung out on the couch while the event occurred.

Audrey got dolled up somewhat and set up the camera. She resumed her ice queen persona a bit, mainly just quiet and aloof with a splash of royalty. The guy ended up being super, super nice. Way too nice really. His humor didn't match hers, though a laugh or two was shared. Not attractive really and asking lots of personal questions to get to know her, which is nice, but ended up being even more awkward. I sat there, not because I needed to control her, but because it was my house and I wasn't going to change my routine from what I'd normally be doing.

To add to the humor, after things had gotten super awkward and tense between them, Audrey's sister, Kat, who lives in my house and her fiance came in the front door and just started talking to me without knowing what was going on. I stayed semi-quiet, but Kat said she wasn't going to be quiet and just kept talking. I liked it because it was her way of saying, at least to me, "you're my sister's main squeeze. I'm not going to deny that." I could be projecting a fantasy, but the smiles and the tone and the behavior all seemed to indicate that. Then our other roommate, Minou, came barreling in and the Skype was pretty much over.

This was a guy she'd been texting a LOT (or who had been texting her a lot) for at least 3 weeks to a month or more. He might be coming down to Alabama as part of his job (relief work), so that's an interesting wrinkle. Who knows what direction the relationship will take. When we're not doing something active, Audrey's time is almost exclusively on her phone. I've gotten better about dealing with that and she's gotten better about connecting in person too. The amount she's been texting him hasn't been troublesome (read as: enough to negatively impact my own needs), and I don't see it getting more frequent after that skype debacle.

Unless I rubberneck, there's really no way for me to know if she's texting, on a dating site, or on Tumblr. Mostly I dissociate from her phone use these days so that I don't focus on whether it's someone else. She has been ramping up her texts with this new guy in town Amos. She checked in to see if it was fine that she talked about him and I responded honestly, yes. He seems like a good guy so far and they share laughs.

Sometimes the texting is pretty heavy all in one block, but I can't really complain because I do get priority at the moment. From what she's said (and I've written before), he knows that she's poly and has a significant other. He's from the west coast where he said people do this all the time. I'm recapping that as an explanation of how my priority is not unfair to him. Depending on your poly philosophy, priority can or cannot be unfair. If I'm 110% logical, priority is unfair. It's a crutch to lean on when you can't ween yourself totally off monogamy. She should get to spend time with whomever she wants in what ever way she wants. I know that. In fact, today, they are hanging out in the middle of the day today and I'm totally cool with it. At first she asked if she could get Amos involved with landscaping my house, but I said I wasn't comfortable with that. She backed off of that idea on her own and they're just going to the park today. Could today be the day he finally makes a romantic move? I'll find out later, I suppose

Funnier still is that this blog is basically a recap of her dating life, not mine. That's because with money the way it is...I'm not really dating myself. Nor is it easy to find women in the bible belt who are super comfortable with the poly situation. Yes, they do exist, but either they're not my type or they're too far away.

All told, our relationship is great. She lives with me. Loves me. Takes care of our pets with me. Goes out with me. Works on business ideas with me. Cuddles, sexes, and is sweet to me. We connect in a thousand unique ways that make me really happy. And that make her happy.
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  #46  
Old 05-06-2014, 09:26 PM
vanquish vanquish is offline
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Home for the second half of the day to take a conference call at my computer. Audrey left about 12 for some time with Amos. While she has made a few attempts at texting on her own initiative, I think we're going to have to have a talk.

It just so happened that Audrey wanted a particular meal for dinner so I offered to go get the ingredients from the store. She decided to tag along and we had a conversation. It went really well...I thought. I expressed the need that since she would probably be spending more time with Amos, his time would transition from date/getting to know you time...to regular hang out time. This is an important distinction because during her dates, Audrey intentionally reduces her responses to texts so she can focus on the date. Makes sense and I'm fine with it. But when we're home together, she's often on her phone texting people and not being present in the moment with me. Which sometimes feels like being ignored. Cutting to the chase, I expressed the need for her to be more responsive to texts while she's out with this guy in order to be fair to me.

That's not happening. And I'm not liking it.

I go back and forth in my head because I know she'll eventually come back to my house. I know we'll have quality time again and their date will only be 4 or 5 hours. It's a bit of an adjustment because before him, we'd text and be in each other's company non-stop. So I tell myself...she'll be home soon. She's coming home to you...can you really be angry?

On the other hand, I do NOT want to be a cuckold. I'm not just the guy to give a roof and food and presents. To be fair to her, we did have sex last night, but now I'm wondering if that was just to clear her conscience about going out with that guy today.

Whatever the situation, I'm not getting the same kind of response back that she promised me I would get. And we're going to have to have a talk.
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  #47  
Old 05-07-2014, 03:55 AM
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I don't get it. You want her to carry on text conversations with you while she's out on dates with other people, but you don't want her texting anyone while she's with you? Am I understanding you? And, also, from a previous post of yours, you think her taking 20-30 minutes to reply to a text is too long? It has to be immediate? I'm just curious - my lovers and I sometimes take days to answer texts, so I can't fathom your irritation.
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Last edited by nycindie; 05-07-2014 at 04:00 AM.
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  #48  
Old 05-07-2014, 05:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
I don't get it. You want her to carry on text conversations with you while she's out on dates with other people, but you don't want her texting anyone while she's with you? Am I understanding you? And, also, from a previous post of yours, you think her taking 20-30 minutes to reply to a text is too long? It has to be immediate? I'm just curious - my lovers and I sometimes take days to answer texts, so I can't fathom your irritation.
No, I'm saying treat me equally.

Yesterday while we were out together, having what I was hoping was quality time, she was texting him back and forth like a lightning round of Jeopardy. Today, when she was out with him, she couldn't be bothered to text me back at all. I'm saying if you're going to text them while you're with me...then text me while you're with them. Make sense?

And yes, text frequency is important to me. I guess I'm old school, but when someone texts you, you text back semi-promptly. Now I've gotten to the point where 15 or 20 mins is fine...but don't just shoot me back a one liner. The longer you take, the more involved your text should be...to me. But hey, that's just me.

Let's take her texting with Amos for example. She had been yard working with me and got a little red. He asked if she was lobster red...and she shot back a selfie...which was, quite funnily a pic of a lobster. From there, they made lobster jokes and exchanged lobster pics off the net for at least 3 hours. With maybe a minute or two, if that, in between. She was laughing so hard that she had to at least let me in on the conversation. Actually, including me made it better for me...especially as she was supposed to be out getting ingredients for a meal she wanted specially...that I was paying for...and we were supposed to be out together having quality time. Yet there's this intrusion of lobster jokes.

During her time with homeboy, after doing the adult relationship work to set expecations, I didn't get what I'd negotiated for...which was prompt texting back.

And what may be apples and oranges between our situations is that Audrey and I aren't just lovers or sex partners, we also co-habitate. Until now we've been around each other 24-7 for months now. That's a valid reason to want some time apart, I'm just explaining that it makes time between texts a bit awkward for me. I don't want to be clingy, just want fairness applied to our interactions. Make sense?

I'm willing to listen to other view points and welcome interaction on my blog.
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  #49  
Old 05-07-2014, 07:12 AM
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It's 1 a.m. and I'm up so I figured I would type out the debacle that was today.

So Audrey goes on her date with her new dude, Amos.

I get up, feed the mongrels, clean up the kitchen, get the trash out and head to work by 7:45. I kiss Audrey on the forehead, but she's deep asleep and doesn't wake which is fine. I've got work on the brain.

Knowing that she's got a date starting around midday, I think I'll hear from her by at least 11, but nothing. So I text her at 11:12. She texts me back, in a scramble to find some shoes she's lost and I try to help her find them. I send multiple texts with no reply. "Ok", I think. "She's busy getting ready." An hour passes and no reply. It so happens that I have a teleconference that I can do over the net, so I text her that I'm coming home and she finally informs me that they've left. Just with a "We're gone."

Two hours pass and nothing. Remembering our agreement to text promptly from yesterday, I send her pics of something she was very interested in and even prodded me to do...pump the pool. No response for an hour. And then it's just one word. I text her a few other times and get nothing for hours. Then one word responses. This is not what we agreed to. NRE (new relationship energy) has taken over and I'm not liking it.

Eventually one of my roommates comes home and sees that I'm stomping around the house and pissed. We talk things out and I feel a little better. But I'm going about my own business, but I'm still kind of pissed that she's not living up to her word. She finally texts me back asking if we'll cuddle later on tonight and I say "Yes." Meant to be very short. No response for 10 minutes and so I say "Maybe." This should have been a clear indication that I'm not happy. Saying maybe to a cuddle in our world is fighting words on both sides No response for 45 minutes. So then I type "Nah." Meaning no cuddles. And hit send. 30 minutes later I get a D: face.

Just to make sure she knows I'm not happy either, I text "I'd rather not fight. And I dont want to fight over text. We'll talk when you get home." Almost immediately she sends back a text "What? No tell me." At which point I explain what I just have above regarding her breaking her word from yesterday about frequency of texts. I get an "I'm sorry, [name]." And then nothing for an hour.

You'd think if you just pissed off your partner that there would be some discussion, but no. It's more radio silence. I'd come to find out that they were making out. They'd had a talk about her medical condition (always an indicator of things moving forward) and proceeded to do some shirt off stuff. That part, I honestly don't care about. I really dont. Hell, I'd love to be fucking someone new and strange right now. I get it. We've spent months together 24/7...and you've found someone cool. That's awesome.

Eventually she comes home while I'm in the kitchen. I've been working on fixing the pool pump and had to wash my hands. She comes up behind me at the sink and tries to playfully paw at my back. Without turning around I simply shake my head no and finish washing my hands. She starts walking off briskly and getting angry herself, so I dry my hands and follow her into the living room. We proceed to have a talk.

I explain again everything that I explained above while she rolls her eyes and makes faces. I add that this is the time I need her assurance the most and it makes letting me down even rougher on me. She proceeds to accuse me of being majorly clingy every time she has the talk with a new guy. Of course I deny it. I may have sometimes, but not every time and not even the majority of the time.

Eventually we talk things out and get back to being companions. She engages me in sweet baby talk and we watch some tv. She'd said she wanted to watch movies and cuddle, but it turned into me giving her a foot rub and us going to sleep with very little cuddling.

As it so happens, while I've been writing this, she came down and told me she missed having me upstairs. She decided to bring the dogs down as it's hot on the top floor of my house where we all sleep in my bedroom. I checked on the pool pump, we made some mac & cheese, and we engaged in more reconnection time.

I'm still not happy about how things went down. I'm also not super settled about what's going to happen with this new guy. She's given me some of the words I need to hear, but I'm seriously wondering if I'm made for a poly relationship. I won't break up with her of course...I'll just ride things until the rails come off. I love her very much and not spending all our time together...even if she's gone just once in awhile...is killing me. Don't be fooled. I go through periods where I'm fiercely independent and want my space...but I love her so much and I hate feeling like I need her this much.

We're back to normal, I suppose. I know that I get the vast majority of her time and attention. I know we have a history that is very unique. I know I should be more happy that she has a new friend/lover. I'm just still deprogramming my 42 years of monogamy.
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  #50  
Old 05-07-2014, 01:59 PM
vanquish vanquish is offline
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We listened to our favorite podcast about haunted things (anything ghost, if youre interested)...and i gave her a full body massage. The moans of delight were enough to make me happy.

Ive woken up this morning, with Audrey by my side, naked and gorgeous, but feeling a little unsure of whats to come. I know ill be getting less and less time with her as this new relationship flourishes. Shes told me he was an unfortunately wet kisser and also that she met his mom, who he lives with. Theyre going to eventually have sex. Im fine with that. Its just the less time that im dreading. I know I need to get into doing my own thing and focus on me. Dont be so clingy and communicate my needs.

I just had 2 or 3 months of what felt like monogamy and it fucked with my head.
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