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Old 02-24-2014, 08:22 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: US
Posts: 2,170
Default A Plea for Nicknames

Disclaimer: I'm not a mod or anything like that here. What I say is just my personal thoughts.

So, onward...

I urge folks who post here, even if not regularly, to assign nicknames to important people they reference in their posts. That usually means partners and metamours, but often includes children, friends, and other family members.

I, personally, cannot keep track of who is who using just initials. I just lose track. It's seems most people date an 'M' or a 'S' sooner or later. I just can't figure out who is who, especially if the cast of characters, so to speak, are many and intertwined - as is often the case. And I get one poster's 'T' mixed up with other 'T's. It's so confusing. I find myself not reading posts where there are a lot of initials. Just too much to figure out.

So, please, figure out some brief descriptive nicknames and use them. I remember nicknames so much better, especially if they are truly descriptive in some way. For example, lots of people have 'Dear Husband' or DH. This is still better than an 'H' as far as my retention of it. But if you provide me with some sort of 'hook' about the person, I will remember it, and be more likely to want to interact, make suggestions or just chat.

And you can always change them if need be. I've done that with how I refer to my ex-wife.

Finally, nicknames are just fun. Have some giggles! My current favorite is 'Punkrockawesomesauce'. I won't forget that! I chuckle whenever LovingRadiance refers to her Peas - her children and grandchildren.

Let's get nicknaming, people!
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Old 02-24-2014, 08:39 PM
kkxvlv kkxvlv is offline
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 88

Could not agree more! I can't follow the initials even with a key in the signature. You know who those people are and can picture them when you're writing but to me they are a letter and they all look the same!
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Old 02-24-2014, 08:40 PM
LoveBunny LoveBunny is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Florida, USA
Posts: 474

Total agreement I can't follow who is who when it's just an initial, and I often find myself skimming such posts, not giving my full attention.
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Old 02-24-2014, 09:02 PM
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YouAreHere YouAreHere is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: SoNH
Posts: 1,343

Wellllll... I abbreviate nicknames.

P is for "partner" - real creative, I know. I can't use DH because it isn't correct, I hate BF because (to me) it sounds very high school, and DP ("dear partner?") has a WHOLE OTHER MEANING. And literally writing "partner" and "metamour" sounds like a 'bot is narrating.

To be honest, I like the level of anonymity. I'd be willing to bet that some folks from the poly groups in our area frequent this board, and probably know M1 at the very least. I don't need her to possibly get ID'd through my venting on a bad day and have it be communicated (or miscommunicated) back to her.

It's not foolproof, but it's another step towards obfuscation. Sorry.

Edited to add:
Of course, after I say that, my brain goes off on a tangent to think about possible nicknames. Point goes to Opalescent for getting my brain to go, "Sure, why not!" after it's already gone, "But I like it this way!"
Dramatis personae:
Me: 47/F, Divorced with 2 kids, 2 cats, fish, a tarantula, and a 1930s house with many projects.
Chops: 48/M, Partner of 6 years.
Spinner: 52/M, Friend I went on a couple dates with. Divorced, Mono, "just friends".
Xena: 47/F, Chops' partner of 6 years
Curls: 50/F, Chops' partner of 1 year

Supporting Characters:
Choplet: Chops' son
DanceGirl: My oldest daughter
Pokégirl: My youngest daughter

Last edited by YouAreHere; 02-24-2014 at 09:06 PM.
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Old 02-24-2014, 09:12 PM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,791

I use my guys nicknames.

Butch is a family nickname for him.

Most of Murf's friends call him such.

My kids are Moose and Squirrel. They got that nickname from my best friend of 20 years. He has a strong German accent and it stuck because he couldn't remember Rocky and Bullwinkle.
40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 50/50 split of time between my two husbands.
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Old 02-24-2014, 10:34 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 5,510

I totally agree. When people use letters, I usually just stop reading, because I can't keep it straight.
"Love As Thou Wilt"
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Old 02-24-2014, 11:25 PM
Inyourendo Inyourendo is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Crazytown USA
Posts: 1,885

I just recently made up names for everyone
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Old 02-24-2014, 11:32 PM
pulliman pulliman is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Eastern US...
Posts: 182

Hmmmm. I've thought about doing nicknames and feel stuck with the initials I started using, honestly. Maybe turn WI into Winona and AM into Amy. Ha. But why the hell not? Anonymity is important to us, but fake names really are more readable...
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Old 02-25-2014, 12:02 AM
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Mya Mya is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 612

Agreed! It does make following other people's posts easier. I also find it easier to write like that as well, using nicknames instead of single letters. I think the text flows a bit better like that. In my case the nicknames have nothing to do with the people's actual names, they are just names I happen to like for one reason or another.
Me: bi woman in my 30's
My partner: Marco
My metamour: Paige

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Old 02-25-2014, 12:07 AM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 398

Opal, with your request I edited my latest blog post changing initials to a name. Others will be given those as they are talked about.
Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
N8: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: N8 girlfriend
Ruby: Part of the Leather Family
Logan: Leather Sir in the Family
Arc: Logan's boy
Holly: Leather family
K: Holly's sub
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