Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Life stories and blogs

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #61  
Old 06-23-2014, 12:36 AM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
Official Greeter
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Olympia, Washington
Posts: 4,708
Default

Thanks LR and KC.

Jeezh, that church-versus-homosexuality stuff is something else, isn't it? Have the General Authorities really supported this notion that homosexuality is "the biggest immorality there is?"

All's I know is that official church doctrine states that sexual "sins" (e.g. adultery, masturbation, homosexuality, bisexuality, swing, poly -- you get the idea) are the *third*-worst of all (types of) sins. Murder (what counts as murder?) is the second-worst; denying the Holy Ghost (what the tickety-boo is that supposed to mean? leaving the church I guess) is the first-worst. You can't even get forgiveness for the "top two." Murder someone and that's it; Jesus will never forgive you no matter how hard you try to repent. Deny the Holy Ghost and you just earned yourself a one-way ticket into Outer Darkness -- unspeakable torment for all eternity.

It's too bad cause you guys are right: The church has its good qualities. (Which it uses to plant a few more hooks in there.) Furthermore, some people stay in the church because they want to help reform it from within. And I admire/appreciate that. I just couldn't stay myself because it was such an unhealthy environment for me.

Re (from rabbit):
Quote:
"I think the guilt you are feeling right now is something trained into you by the church."
Yeah, that's a huge reason why I say the church was (is?) an unhealthy environment for me. Gods do they ever lay on the guilt trips. And as if that wasn't bad enough, my own mother was the queen of laying on guilt trips. So I was getting pelted at home and in the chapel. Wow. When you're thin-skinned and eager to please, that much guilt-tripping is rather permanent. To this day I find myself beating myself up over the least little technical mistakes. Just one example of the sweet "blessings" the church bestowed on me.

Hmmm, looks like I'm kind of venting. But hey if y'can't vent in your blog, where can y'vent?
__________________
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
Reply With Quote
  #62  
Old 06-23-2014, 02:37 AM
loveboston's Avatar
loveboston loveboston is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: California
Posts: 49
Default God is Love

Christ's command is that we love each other as much as we love ourselves. He elaborated on the subject of love by telling us that it was of no importance if we loved only those who loved us but it is when we love our enemies that we learn to love as He does.

He defined perfect as allowing the rain to fall on the just and the unjust.

Little do they know when the tell us to hate the people we love they have become our enemies and cease to be our friends.

It is easier for me to love their enemies than it is for me to love them for making it difficult to learn to love people who make me uncomfortable for whatever reason.

We're left to do what Jesus did and avoid the religious bigots who interfere with our attempts to love and help everyone we encounter. Because it's more fun than being mean.

The ultimate for Christ was when even as they killed Him He forgave them.

It wasn't the homosexual, transvestite, whatever who were enjoying having fun who were at the foot of the cross enjoying watching Love get killed.

We need to continue to encourage each other to forgive and love the religious bigots.

I've found it's easier to do this while caught up in thoughts of fucking someone really nice who enjoys having me fuck them.
Reply With Quote
  #63  
Old 06-23-2014, 06:42 AM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
Official Greeter
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Olympia, Washington
Posts: 4,708
Default

LOL, well said loveboston. Make love, not war, amirite?

I admit I'm a weak (i.e. unvirtuous) person when it comes to loving my enemies. If I was crucified I'm sure I wouldn't have a thought to spare for those who instigated the unimaginable predicament; what little thought I had would be of my own pain and suffering. I don't know what parts of the Bible are true, but if any man could hang on the cross and simultaneously forgive the religious bigots who put him there, then I am truly in awe of that man. Parting the Red Sea would be a lesser miracle.

Maybe someday I'll come to follow a whole particle of that example.

God is Love and it hurts my soul to see any religion encourage ill will ... as many religions discreetly do.

Quote:
"Hate is hate even when done with a smile."
-- Steven Vigil
---

Re (from LovingRadiance):
Quote:
"Not all parts of the Book of Mormon strike me as 'bullshit.'"
I totally agree.

In fact, how's this for irony? The Book of Mormon introduced me to a doctrine/concept that the Bible never could: the idea that we prepare for the next life (the afterlife) by the course we follow in this life (mortal existence), or in other words, what our present life looks like is a reflection of what our next life will look like beyond the grave. For years I just took that as a mere true and pleasant doctrine, but then somewhere around Y2K, the epiphany hit me: "What kind of afterlife am I preparing myself for? If this life is a reflection of the next life, then what can I expect after I pass away? Why, nothing more than a long series of boring, guilt-tripping meetings, the de facto abolition of D&D and of all music not printed in the 1985 hymnal, and just in general being a round peg jammed into a square hole. Is that what I really want? Why am I setting myself up for that?" In other words, the Book of Mormon ended up helping me decide to leave the church.

Re (from KC43):
Quote:
"The idea that Heavenly Father speaks to *everyone,* not just to a select few who then take it upon themselves to tell everyone else what they're supposed to do."
The church does teach that doctrine, though it often encourages us to trust the inspiration of our leaders more than our own. But knowing that I, too, a rank-and-file member, had access to personal revelation and the promptings of the Holy Ghost, was yet another way in which the church undermined my membership in it. It (ultimately) taught me to take my own misgivings seriously (e.g. when I saw that something was amiss in the behavior of my leaders, or in the way the church covered up "those truths which are not useful"). So, there again, there's that irony.

The church even enables that irony in the pious college it sponsors: Brigham Young University. As much as the church wants us to believe in the Bible's literal account of Noah, Adam and Eve, etc., it also gives BYU a science department that teaches four billion years of evolution (culminating in humans evolving from ape-like ancestors) and the scientific method (which renders absurd any assertions of any Great Flood covering the whole Earth, the Sun halting in the heavens, etc.). I have at least one friend in Utah whose doubt in the church started with what he learned at BYU.

I like that the church persists in promoting these truthful ideas even if it means some members will get the "wrong" idea from them. I don't like it when the church hides/diverts attention away from the troubling details of its past and present, but I do like it when it has the guts to retain and promote truthful ideas, the costs to itself be damned.

I even like the uniquely Mormon doctrine that mortals like you and I are Gods and Goddesses in embryo ... but that's kind of getting off the off-topic topic. The point is, I like some of the stuff the church teaches -- even some of the stuff that's written in the Book of Mormon.

---

Thank you guys, for your supportive words. I feel better having read them.
__________________
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
Reply With Quote
  #64  
Old 06-26-2014, 01:11 AM
loveboston's Avatar
loveboston loveboston is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: California
Posts: 49
Default Rape

Avoiding abuse and mistreatment of our spirits should be as high a priority if not more so than staying away from anyone who would abuse our emotions and body.

I take full responsibility for being so careless with my spirit.

The abuse can come from any group, any leader and from any individual.

My spirit is the core of my being.

I've been careless and I've slowly learned that being raped is not ok.
Reply With Quote
  #65  
Old 06-26-2014, 06:19 PM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
Official Greeter
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Olympia, Washington
Posts: 4,708
Default

Did I let the church rape me spiritually? Yeah, that's probably a good way of putting it. Spiritual and emotional rape.

Although the meaning of "let" is critical when discussing rape. It works when you're "letting" the rape occur due to threats of extreme violence (going to Hell sounds like a good example) if you don't comply.

On top of that was the church's way of assuring me that what they were doing was love (not rape). But yeah, after awhile, you realize, "Um yes this is rape, and a rapist doesn't have the authority to determine who's going to Heaven or Hell."
__________________
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
Reply With Quote
  #66  
Old 07-22-2014, 01:16 AM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
Official Greeter
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Olympia, Washington
Posts: 4,708
Default

Have been napping some today (Monday), extra tired for some reason. A little after 2:00 p.m. (c. four hours ago) my V and I (and our cat and dog) returned home from a weekend stay (started Saturday afternoon) at my brother and sister-in-law's place on Vashon Island. A great time was had by all. Rainee (our cat) even let Sebastian (their cat) kiss her at the end (before hissing at him one last time).

Us five humans played "Cards against Humanity" for the first time and I suppose that was the most fun we had of the whole weekend. Not only did I win (always a good thing), I also played what I think all agreed were the two funniest cards.

One question card was, "I drink to forget _____." I had "rehab" in my hand and played it with relish. Another question card was, "I lost my virginity by _____." I actually had two good cards to play but decided on "winking at old people."

Anyway it was a fun and enjoyable visit. I look forward to my/our next stay at their house. And that's the big exciting news from my V and me. I think my brother and sister-in-law pretty much know about our poly-ness; I hinted about it to them a few years ago with such a hint as to make it impossible to mistake. They were totally cool about it, and have helped us stay otherwise in the closet as well.

Hope everyone else had a good weekend.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
__________________
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
Reply With Quote
  #67  
Old 07-22-2014, 01:58 AM
AlwaysGrowing AlwaysGrowing is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 232
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by kdt26417 View Post
One question card was, "I drink to forget _____." I had "rehab" in my hand and played it with relish. Another question card was, "I lost my virginity by _____." I actually had two good cards to play but decided on "winking at old people."
My favorite answer for the virginity one has been "vigorous jazz hands." Cracks me up for some reason! Definitely a fun game.
Reply With Quote
  #68  
Old 07-22-2014, 07:53 PM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
Official Greeter
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Olympia, Washington
Posts: 4,708
Default

Heh, I drew vigorous jazz hands, and decided to play it for (something like), "Something old ladies are offended by but kind of like at the same time." I didn't know if I'd like CAH much, so I was quite pleasantly surprised.

My brother got second place, which I guess is fitting since he and I are constantly doing a perverted two stooges act with one another.
__________________
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
Reply With Quote
  #69  
Old 08-16-2014, 06:56 PM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
Official Greeter
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Olympia, Washington
Posts: 4,708
Default

Today, for no good reason, is a bad one. No cheer or laughter for me today. Got triggered last night by "too much" horsing around (tickling antics) by Snowbunny. I suddenly felt painfully humiliated/disrespected. I've had a night to sleep on it and forgiveness remains elusive. I am speaking as little as I can. Posting on Polyamory.com isn't comfortable fit either today, but at least the force of habit keeps me doing something (and supplies me with some distraction). I could use some serious alcohol right now, but there's none in the house. The strongest stuff we have is wine which wouldn't put a dent in me. I need an alarming helping of 80-100 proof refreshment.

Don't panic, this is just something that happens with me from time to time, and usually I wouldn't write about it because I don't like publishing my private failures. By this time next week I'll probably be fine. I just have to keep it together in the meantime. And I don't update my blog often enough, so maybe posting now helps me do slightly better in that area.

/
__________________
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
Reply With Quote
  #70  
Old 08-16-2014, 07:38 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: US
Posts: 1,277
Default

Sending you a gentle hug, should you want one.

Triggers suck, don't they?
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
alzheimer's, asperger's, brainwashing, mormon, vanilla

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 06:53 AM.