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  #1  
Old 08-19-2014, 07:14 PM
summerrhiannon summerrhiannon is offline
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Default Living in harmony for a month!

Scott and I have been married 9 years. I introduced him to the idea of polyamory because I saw my parents do it. My parents had a live-in girlfriend for 5 years when I was younger. My dad explained that he had enough love for me and my sisters, just like he had enough love for my mother and his girlfriend. It made sense to me.

Scott and I started with only sexual adventures with other people, primarily via threesomes. A few years after we were married, we played with the idea of having a girlfriend with a friend of mine, Jessie. She moved in for a couple months, mainly because she had no place else to live and no money. Unfortunately, I wasn't attracted to her sexually and she and my husband ended up hating each other after about a month.

Next, Scott met a woman, Julie through a mutual friend. It wasn't an ideal situation because she was married and cheating. She said she planned to divorce her husband eventually and that they weren't really intimate. She and Scott started sleeping together on a regular basis. A couple months later, they were passionately in love with each other. They all but cut me out of the relationship. I was always feeling hurt and excluded. She told him she was jealous about his relationship with me, so he paid no attention to me around her. He even told her he didn't love me. It did a lot of damage to my relationship with Scott. Scott never tried to divorce me because afterall, she was still married. After 2 years and lots of drama, the relationship with Julie ended.

Scott was desperate after Julie left to find another girlfriend. He became friends with his yoga teacher, Danielle. I didn't care for her and told him I think we needed some time just to heal our relationship. He started seeing her behind my back and lying to me. A few months later, he said he wanted a divorce. We decided to continue to live together and make a schedule for sharing the house. That went on for about 6 months and was very painful. Finally, I decided I needed to move out. The day I was planning to put down a deposit on an apartment, he started taking Adderall for adult ADD. It allowed him to finally have a real conversation with me and be honest. I found out the truth about the affair and that he wanted to end it with her and fix things with me.

About a year later, things were going very well in our marriage. I didn't think we could ever try poly again. Then, I met a beautiful Ukranian woman named Irina. She is 25 (I'm 37 and Scott is 32). She had never even considered poly or even heard of it. She just knew she loved hanging out with me and Scott. We became very close rather quickly. She has been living with us for a little over a month now and I can't believe how well it is all working! I don't feel threatened or jealous in any way. She is so good with my children and is helping me enforce the rules. She gives me time alone with Scott and doesn't try to monopolize him the way Julie did.

I love having Irina in our house. I hope she stays forever. The only problem I have is that I am very sexually attracted her, but she is only experimental where it comes to women. She is somewhat sexually inexperienced since her last relationship was 8 years with her boyfriend in the Ukraine. She will kiss me, but seems awkward if I try to do anything more. I hope she will open up in time. In the mean time, I'm very happy and having a blast!
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  #2  
Old 08-19-2014, 08:16 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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How long did you know Irina before moving her in? I hope she returns your sexual affection soon! What if she never does?
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
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Old 08-20-2014, 11:19 PM
summerrhiannon summerrhiannon is offline
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Default Moving in

We didn't really officially move her in. She just started coming over every day, the first week. The second week, she was staying the night every night. The third week, Scott made her some space to put her clothes.

Interestingly, about the sexual affection part. She brought up last night that she thinks we need some time for just she and I to mess around sexually. She was drunk at the time, so maybe alcohol may be the necessary ingredient to make it happen.
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Old 08-21-2014, 12:16 AM
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maxnsue maxnsue is offline
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We found success the same way you did. We never were I to just for I g relationships with others as we never saw it work out for our friends. We are the core couple and our brand of poly was to bring in an old friend who loved both of us and wanted to be with both of us and we with her. 38 years with just the one girlfriend is not bad. We were lucky enough to find just one person that was able to fill in all the blanks in our life. We never had a need for another.

I wish you the same happiness that we have. Do not put your marriage second. Believe me when I say that when you get old and need someone to bathe and care for you, there is nothing like a spouse that has been by your side most of your life.

P.S. We ended up moving to a bigger house and gave our girlfriend her own furnished room as well as a new wardrobe for the type of nightlife we enjoyed. We all slept in our own rooms. Made life simpler and gave us a better night's sleep.
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Last edited by maxnsue; 08-21-2014 at 12:41 AM.
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