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  #11  
Old 01-09-2014, 06:19 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is online now
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It definitely depends on the circumstances.
In the case that I arranged the hotel room, she was a friend of the family for years prior to their night together. She very much felt it was a gesture of acceptance towards her and appreciated it.

Likewise; when Maca had a girlfriend, she and I both did things like that for each other. We both thought it was sweet, endearing, made us feel more accepted into each others lives and families. She held a birthday party for me at her place, inviting all of my family and friends to attend. We arranged playdates (hers and ours) for the kids so that one or the other of us could have a date with Maca. We operated much like sisters who wanted to make the situation awesome for each other, not just ourselves.

AND

not everyone in poly dynamics operates from the mindset that each relationship has nothing to do with the other. In our dynamic, all of the relationships have had a GREAT involvement with one another to some degree or another. Not sexually triadic, but always very involved with one another.
We create them that way. We like a very communal environment, so we attract people who also like communal environments and that means that there is much more personal involvement between metamours. It's damn near critical that they be friends.
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  #12  
Old 01-09-2014, 07:48 PM
vanquish vanquish is offline
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Absolutely. Relationships are never one size fits all. If your group is all so familiar that what youre planning isnt an intrusion, then go for it. Butif your SO is dating someone new, I'm just saying it could make things awkward or possessive.
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Old 01-09-2014, 10:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vanquish View Post
Absolutely. Relationships are never one size fits all. If your group is all so familiar that what youre planning isnt an intrusion, then go for it. Butif your SO is dating someone new, I'm just saying it could make things awkward or possessive.
That's very true.
It really is important to consider all of the possibilities.
The OP asked for suggestions on nice things to do.
He has to decide what is appropriate for his situation. Going away silently may be the nicest thing to do. Having dinner ready in the oven for when they are done may be the nicest thing to do. Clean sheets may be, new guys favorite soda/beer etc in the fridge may be. Who knows.

All we can do is answer the question and he can go from there.
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Old 01-10-2014, 12:13 AM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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If I was really excited for my gf's date and first sex with a new potential partner, I'd help her clean the house and especially the bedroom where they would be, and the bathroom.

I am a big fan of flowers and candles too, but that would be a gift for my gf herself, since I dunno if the OSO would care about that one way or another!

I think I'd let them handle the condom issue. People have their preferences.
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  #15  
Old 01-10-2014, 06:56 AM
london london is offline
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Also-because I didn't SAY anything-it was her assumption that he did it. He was thrilled I thought of it and thanked me when he got home for being so caring. She was just thrilled a guy was so thoughtful.
So she didn't know it was you?

Quote:
She very much felt it was a gesture of acceptance towards her and appreciated it.
Or did?
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