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  #1  
Old 01-08-2014, 06:36 PM
marty marty is offline
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Default something nice to do...ideas

Hi everyone. My wife is getting into a relationship with another guy and we are planning for him to stay and most likely my wife and he will be having sex for the first time, they are both excited but a bit nervous (I am too). So he is going to stay with us...I'm going to go out and give them some time together but I want to leave them something nice as a little surprise when they get to the bedroom to make them smile and to help them have a good time.

I have no ideas really, anyone got any?

cheers.
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Old 01-08-2014, 08:06 PM
london london is offline
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Are you absolutely sure that a gift "in the bedroom" will have the positive effect you hope for?
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Old 01-08-2014, 08:30 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Heh, my first thought for a gift would be something like two small boxes of chocolate. Perhaps two red roses? Just thinking out loud here. Something symbolic and approving of the two of them sharing some special time together.

Heh, if you wanted to be lighthearted you could place a pair of gold/crystal butterflies on the bed. Depends on if they've a good sense of humor and would chuckle about that.

Or even just some little Hallmark card, a card that's blank inside so you can jot down a short note that you just wish the best for them and appreciate them. Perhaps mention something good that each of them do that you like.

If you do leave a gift, keep it light, short, and simple. Be careful not to leave something that would sound condescending, intrusive, or quietly resentful. This is their special time together. Have a care not to sound like you have to be in the middle of everything in order to make it acceptable. Just sayin'. Be aware of that.

Hope the butterflies soon settle for all three of you.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
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Old 01-08-2014, 08:34 PM
AlwaysGrowing AlwaysGrowing is offline
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I kind of thought along the lines of london... I know I have brought some guys home that would find something like that amusing - but only guys who know my hubby. The guys who haven't had much interaction with him... Well, they'd have probably been squicked out and left immediately. So, how comfortable are you and he together? Do you have enough camaraderie for it to seem like a cute little gesture and not a pushy or presumptuous action?
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Old 01-08-2014, 08:56 PM
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I think giving them privacy and leaving them clean sheets is gift enough.
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Old 01-08-2014, 09:22 PM
Tigergirl Tigergirl is offline
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Nothing too personal/cutesy/funny/risqué- that's kind of a "nice" gesture that's really about reminding people that YOU exist during THEIR time together. If you want to leave something, think about nice amenities you'd find in a classy hotel. Perhaps a bottle of champagne or wine and some glasses? It's a nice gesture, shows you're supportive, but isn't weirdly personal.
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Old 01-09-2014, 12:35 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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I set up a hotel room once for Maca and a lady. I left condoms in the bedside table, replaced the hotel soap stuff with a set of her preferred scent, including soap, shampoo, bubble bath, massage oil.

Nothing with my name or anything like that. Just something to make their stay more romantic.

Also-because I didn't SAY anything-it was her assumption that he did it. He was thrilled I thought of it and thanked me when he got home for being so caring. She was just thrilled a guy was so thoughtful.
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Old 01-09-2014, 04:21 PM
vanquish vanquish is offline
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I'm new around here, but I thought I'd chime in.

YMMV, but I feel like gifts or hotel rooms or similar things are just a back-handed way of inserting yourself into the other relationship. If it's not a triad, then it's a standalone relationship without you.

I have driven my poly gf to dates because she has no car. Ive even helped her get dressed and bro'd out with her doing it. But when you involve the OSO, thats intrusive.

If I were an OSO and someone got me a hotel room or left flowers by our bed or even put condoms on the dresser, id be thinking about that during the playtime. Maybe not a lot, but enough.

Who knows. Maybe yall are all good enough friends to where you're beyond that. Maybe it would just be seen as a nice gesture. But to me, it's a servile way of saying "Dont forget me!"

No offense intended.

Last edited by vanquish; 01-09-2014 at 07:49 PM.
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Old 01-09-2014, 04:32 PM
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YouAreHere YouAreHere is offline
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I agree with Vanquish here... although others may like the idea, I'd rather my bedroom time with my partner be ours alone. If my metamour wants to do something nice for me, great, but separate it out from the time I'm spending with my partner.

If they want to do something nice for me together, that's awesome and sweet, but not in the bedroom.
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  #10  
Old 01-09-2014, 04:35 PM
london london is offline
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I'd find it creepy if a metamour was heavily involved In something like that and feel even worse if my partner pretended it was them.
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