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  #1  
Old 02-25-2011, 05:52 PM
sasiness sasiness is offline
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I have allowed my boyfriend to sleep with other chicks since the start of our relationship. Lately it's be getting harder to deal with him and other chicks together. Am I crazy for letting this happen? We love each other and he always assures me that it's just sex. I just hate that he normally has to take them out for something (dinner or drinks) just to get in their pants. Am I doing something wrong.
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Old 02-25-2011, 06:16 PM
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Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
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Are you getting more uncomfortable with this situation because all he wants from these other women is sex? Is it making you question if all he wants from you is sex too? If it isn't working for you anymore it's time to talk to him and explain how you feel and why you feel that way and work out some boundaries with him so that you feel valued in your relationship with him.
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Old 02-25-2011, 06:38 PM
sasiness sasiness is offline
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It's always just been sex with these chicks. We have a very healthy sex life and relationship. I have 2 kids and he loves me and the kids to death. We do things as a typical family would do. We don't live together, but are always together most of the time. He doesn't have sex with chicks very often. I am very jealous and have been told by others to just calm down and that he loves me. We had a long talk last night. I told him yeah I am hurt when he is with these other chicks, but if I knew he truly loved me and I was the important one and not them it would be alot easier for me. I am hoping after that talk things with turn for the better. We go out on occasions but spend alot of time at home. I get jealous that he takes them out just to have sex with them, but most of the time they blow him off after the first or second encounter. I think they know he is only about sex with them and nothing more. We have had 3 somes with other chicks and he always ends up asking the ones he is seeing if they are bi, so sometimes they find out he has a girlfriend. Am I crazy for wanting to stay in this relationship or do I really need to calm down and trust what he tells me?
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Old 02-25-2011, 06:44 PM
sasiness sasiness is offline
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Also I am the first of any of his relationships that he can be honest with me about being with another chick. His past relationships he always cheated behind their backs and when they found out they cheated on him so the relationship ended. I don't want to cheat on him nor be with another man. We are together almost everyday of the week. So his once maybe twice a month tryst with another chick something I should be so upset over?
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Old 02-25-2011, 06:57 PM
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What is actually happening here isn't the problem. What I see as the problem is that the arrangement isn't working for you. If it's not working for you you should do something to fix it. If you need him to take you out more often to wine and dine you let him know that. Be very clear as to what your needs are. Give him the chance to meet those needs. If it turns out that he can't meet your needs are you able to go elsewhere to have those needs met?

Personally I wouldn't want to be with someone who was just in it for the sex with other women. I like to know that the people I'm with truly care about and love the others who they are with. If you're happy with it though by all means carry on. One of the good things about open relationships/poly is that there is no one "right" way to do things.

I was wondering if he's laying it out to these other women that he's only in it for sex with them. It seems a little unfair to these other women if they are being led on under the pretence of a dating/love relationship if the sole goal is just to get into their pants. Everyone involved has the right to know what the situation and expectations are.
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Old 02-25-2011, 07:24 PM
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SNeacail SNeacail is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Derbylicious View Post
What is actually happening here isn't the problem. What I see as the problem is that the arrangement isn't working for you. If it's not working for you you should do something to fix it. If you need him to take you out more often to wine and dine you let him know that. Be very clear as to what your needs are. Give him the chance to meet those needs. If it turns out that he can't meet your needs are you able to go elsewhere to have those needs met?
This!
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