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Old 02-15-2011, 05:57 PM
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BNLeuck BNLeuck is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Lansing, MI
Posts: 1
Default Hi there.

Let me first say I'm sorry if any of this is unclear. I think faster than I type and sometimes it gets jumbled. LOL

My name's Brianna. I'm currently in a long-term, committed poly relationship with my boyfriend (I'd use partner, but that suggests same-sex... though boyfriend just seems so transient), Andrew. We have three beautiful little girls together; the oldest will be 5 in April, the middle 4 in April, and the youngest just turned 1 two days ago. I'm sure I don't have to explain to those here how tricky it can be to be polyamorous with small children. Not the polyamory itself, but explaining why we're different from most everyone else. Even gay relationships are easier to explain, since (generally) there are only two people involved.

Very few of our family members know about our lifestyle, and none of them seem to understand. Accept, yes, because we're careful to reveal the entirety of our lives to those we figure will, but understand? Not really. All of this makes it hard to relate to family members and have them share in our lives, and we have to be very careful what we tell our older children as they will repeat it to anyone and everyone. We're not in the least ashamed of our choices, but we get tired of the disapproval and lengthy explanations.

I sought out this board mostly because my boyfriend is currently in a secondary relationship that I'm having a lot of difficulty supporting. He's had a couple other secondary relationships since we've been together, and those were easy to support. I felt at ease with these people, and though I was not invested in them as much as Andrew was, I could consider them friends and welcome them into the "inner circle" of our lives. One of them, a very serious one, went very very badly fairly recently, so I'm wondering if maybe I've just been hit hard by it and am unwilling to trust again. I'm trying to work through my honest feelings about the relationship to understand why I don't feel I can accept this woman as anything but some tertiary "friend with benefits" sort. I'm hoping to find some support and like-minded friends I can talk things through with, and build some lasting friendships with.
Brianna, girlfriend to Andrew, mom to Andrea, Raven, and Damara.
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Old 02-16-2011, 03:41 PM
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ImaginaryIllusion ImaginaryIllusion is offline
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,006

Welcome to the Forum.
“People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.” - Chinese Proverb

-Imaginary Illusion

How did I get here & Where am I going?
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Old 02-16-2011, 04:37 PM
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Carma Carma is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 478

Hi Brianna,
I'm new here too, so I just thought I'd say hi and welcome! This forum has really helped me a lot with getting some perspective. I've been married for 12 years. I fought off my feelings for another man, a close friend to both of us, for 4 years, until my husband and I decided to open our marriage in October. While the three of us are working like hell to make this work, no one in the "real world" knows about it, except one of my closest girlfriends and my daughter who is 23 and lives in New York City. My oldest daughter, who also lives in NYC, is more close-minded on the subject so I don't share with her, and we have 2 teenage girls and 2 boys ages 10 and 9, none of which know the situtation. My bf has 4 kids who also don't know -- funny because all our kids are friends! He and I meet up during the day while the kids are at school.

For now it's ok but I must say it is hard to live and love in secret.

It's nice to be free here to share or stories and support one another in the particular challenges of a poly lifestyle. I'm glad you're here, and I hope you find lots of support and friendship
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Old 02-16-2011, 07:53 PM
Charlie Charlie is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 164
Default Hello to you fellow Midwesterner

Welcome to the forum, the more the merrier.

The conversations here are simply fantastic, but the coffee is horrible.

I usually bring my own.

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Old 02-16-2011, 08:03 PM
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River River is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: NM, USA
Posts: 2,860

Most days I just drink tea.

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