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  #51  
Old 12-28-2013, 03:49 AM
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shurikenlove shurikenlove is offline
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I hope so too. God, I can't believe that he thought he could handle this alone. He was trying to honor her wishes and it put her and J in danger. We'll have to figure out how to keep someone with her and J until things get better.
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  #52  
Old 12-28-2013, 04:20 AM
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The problem with any kind of severe depression is that the sufferer can't make herself do what she needs to do. Even worse is when the sufferer blames herself over something with which she has no control, like L is doing. None of it is her fault any more than if she had the flu and couldn't function.

It doesn't sound like she is getting the help she needs (probably because she is trying to keep it a secret). This needs to be viewed just like any other illness, and get treated. No one would say, I'm so ashamed I have pneumonia, so I'm not going to get help. Perhaps if you and G presented it to her that way, she could see the depression differently enough to seek treatment (or improved treatment). She needs to do it for herself and her baby.

Hang in there!
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  #53  
Old 12-28-2013, 04:29 AM
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Definitely requires some pushiness to deal with someone fighting severe depression (I have issues with this).
They can't (as book said) make themselves do it.
The secrecy could be a life/death issue.

She needs help. She won't get it for herself. So he needs to put his foot down and REQUIRE it. If that means he supplements-so be it. If that means that he drives her to the doctor/counselor himself-so be it.
If you can reassure her that this is a MEDICAL issue-not a sign of her being a bad/good mom and that you want to HELP her through it-that would be good. No idea if you can convince her-but keep saying it. Because she IS NOT thinking coherently if she is struggling with depression. She may not realize it-but it's the truth. The more she hears it-the more likely she'll grasp it LATER.

Don't forget to take a break too. He and you need breaks-so you need to find others who can help. The people supporting someone with severe depression are at higher risk of getting depressed too. It's EXHAUSTING. So don't underestimate the need to take time for yourself.
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  #54  
Old 12-28-2013, 05:08 AM
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I'm feeling a little overwhelmed at the thought of the long road ahead, but I want her to get better. I want J to get the care he needs. I hope that we can present it to her in a way that lets her know she is loved and supported. No more isolation.
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  #55  
Old 12-29-2013, 02:55 AM
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Geez! Just go over there with some containers of extra breast milk and give L a big hug, and then tell her that you are there for her and her baby! Tell her that being depressed is not her fault - it's just hormones affecting her brain. Tell her that you care about her and it's not a competition - your babies are brother and sister and they need their mommies to take care of them and each other. Don't be afraid to step up and make it known that you only want the best for her and her child! Step second-guessing yourself and deferring to G, you can rebuild your friendship with her yourself! Do not hesitate!
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  #56  
Old 12-29-2013, 04:00 AM
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I sent G home with some extra milk and I'm planning a day for L and I to go talk and relax. I hope that we'll see a change in J soon.
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