Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Fireplace

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #11  
Old 08-22-2009, 12:48 AM
MonoVCPHG's Avatar
MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by JRiverMartin View Post
Most enemies and strangers are so very near to being friends!
I am discovering this more and more as I expand my social environment and explore friendships with people I normally would write off because of their appearance. Yes I used to do that.

I am stepping out of suburban bliss, which has its benefits but also has its downfalls. If I understand your take on sympathy JRM, I have gotten to sympathise with many different people since meeting Redpepper. She thinks I'm not learning anything but I am. That doesn't mean I will abandon my core beliefs and not challenge others. Nor does it mean I will be friends with everyone. But it does mean that I am always aware that it is people I am talking to too and not just opinions without the same fundamental desires as myself....to be happy and care for people.
__________________

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

Poly Events All Over
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 08-22-2009, 01:27 AM
redpepper's Avatar
redpepper redpepper is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,634
Default

I am indeed an empath. My Myers Briggs is ENFP.

I have pushed myself to not be or at least to separate myself from my emotions and others. To take on my stuff and be an observer of others instead. This forum has been good practice of that for sure.

Right now my empathy lies with mono's ex wife. She recently found out about us and I feel everything she might be about her loss, her anger, her confusion and judgment and hatred. Last night I couldn't get beyond it for various reasons that I won't go into on here, but I cry often for her sake. I'm not sure why I feel it so fully and endlessly. I wish it would stop sometimes and I wish I could go over there and explain to her everything that will take her pain away.

I know that is not possible and a pie in the sky alternative. It is very possible that she feels none of those things and is infact more happy than she ever was before. Who knows. I hope one day I get to meet her and find out for myself.

If I were sympathetic I would simply think these things rather than feel them.
__________________
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM
My blog

Last edited by redpepper; 08-22-2009 at 01:34 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 08-22-2009, 01:59 PM
Barry Barry is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Florida
Posts: 35
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by JRiverMartin View Post
And via this development and maturation of empathy over time we discover, for example, that same-sex love is essentially like heterosexual love, and that people of differing so-called "races" also partake of a common human experience, and are essentially alike, etc.... So empathy allows us, over time, to include more and more of humanity, and even of other species, into our kind -- our kindred. Difference doesn't dissolve kindredness, it merely expands it! Most enemies and strangers are so very near to being friends!
I have been accused at times of sharing things that are too personal, and perhaps this is one of those times. "J", your description of the maturation process that we all go through, instantly brought back a memory that is forty years old. I served in the Army in the Republic of South Vietnam in 1969. During that time there was a practice of utilizing some of the captured North Vietnamese soldiers as Scouts for both the US forces and the South Vietnamese forces. My unit had two Scouts assigned for the purpose of identifying and interpreting cryptic symbols and signs left in the jungle by the NVA that we had previously not recognized nor understood. The Scout that worked with my team was a former North Vietnamese First Sergeant that had been wounded, captured and sent to the South for "re-indoctrination." At the end of his twelve months of "political" training he was sent to us. On one particular mission we encountered a heavily armed "Chinese" recon team and the shit hit the fan. When all was said and done a soldier from Alabama that was on my team was killed. During the lull my feelings caught up with me. Our Scout Ti was next to me and we caught each other eyes and both began to sob, embraced and held each other. It was a defining moment for me. It was a moment that determined the direction that I would head, in life, as a man. It was a moment that made me clearly understand that "we" all share a commonality that defines us as one global species. We cry, we bleed, we laugh and love, we long for people, places, things, and we live and die. The differences between all of us are superficial and miniscule. Ti was a man without a country. He gave up his wife and children when he agreed to serve the Republic of the South. He would never be able to return home. I think about him often and wonder if he died in combat after I left Vietnam in 1970. If he survived he was most certainly executed during the fall of the South in the mid Seventies. He was first and foremost human; an equal; a husband, a father, and a soldier. He forever captured a place in my heart. As you so clearly stated "differences do not dissolve kindredness.
Barry

Last edited by River; 08-22-2009 at 02:35 PM. Reason: quote code repair
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 08-22-2009, 02:57 PM
foxflame88's Avatar
foxflame88 foxflame88 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Birmingham, AL, USA
Posts: 582
Default

I think I am a good balance of both.... sometimes I wish I could say I was more like YGirl. >sigh<
__________________
Alli
Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get between the right man and the right woman. ~Woody Allen
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 08-22-2009, 05:44 PM
River's Avatar
River River is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: NM, USA
Posts: 1,894
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Barry View Post
I have been accused at times of sharing things that are too personal, and perhaps this is one of those times. "J"
Not in the least! Thanks for sharing that story, Barry.

Telling the truth of our experience is one of the ways we all help liberate each other and ourselves, I think.
__________________
bi, partnered, available

River's Blog
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 09-18-2009, 04:06 AM
NIMchimpsky NIMchimpsky is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: U.S.
Posts: 32
Default

I'm a very strong empath, both emotional and physical. Sometimes I can literally feel other people's ailments, aches and pains. Although I think this thread is mainly dealing with emotional empathy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by vandalin View Post
I am an empath. Plain and simple. Always have been, always will be. I also happen to be a very strong empath, sometimes knowing what a person is truly feeling before they are ready to admit it to themselves...and when we discuss it they agree with me that that is really how they have been feeling (which makes this whole Elric thing that much harder).
I'm an empath much in the same way you are. I tend to pick up on people's subconscious emotions before picking up on their conscious ones, which often throws me into a role of making them aware of their subconscious emotions.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 09-18-2009, 09:29 PM
NIMchimpsky NIMchimpsky is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: U.S.
Posts: 32
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by JRiverMartin View Post
Fascinating! And that must also be very challenging!

If you're a linguist, as you say you are, then you're steeped in a scientific/rationalistic world view, most likely. I've been steeped in that, but have also had many experiences which shake the same world view, or suggest at least a need for further research or paradigm shifting....

I've had both "psychic" experiences of knowing facts about folks that could not be known by "ordinary" means and ... simply EXTREME empathic connection of the sort you spoke of -- as in feeling other people's somatic experience in my own body..., etc. ... We know that we're bioelectromagnetic creatures -- all of us animals ..., but how that works in relation to "psychic" and empathic connection seems to be little understood.... What do you think?
I think the psychic experiences you mention are simply an extension of the electromagnetic properties of the Universe. If every atom is connected to every other atom through atoms, then I don't see why it would be impossible for information to be transferred from one place to another. I'm connected to you through atoms, and your thoughts are made up of the energy in those atoms, so why can't that energy wave travel? The answer, in my opinion, is that it can.

I have had other empathetic experiences well. I empathized with a friend of mine during one of her manic episodes (she has bipolar disorder). She was hearing voices and I could hear the same voices. We had a detailed conversation about the voices that were going on in her head, commenting how their voices sound and what they're saying.

Even though I'm a linguist, I wouldn't say I'm steeped in the rationalistic/scientific view. The way I see it is that psychic abilities aren't mystical or supernatural, they are part of nature. They are just properties of the Universe like gravity, the Strong Force, and the 4 dimensions we know of in the physical world. I think that we are either limited in what we know or our perceptions create a frame that leads us to the a dualistic view -- having physical phenomena and then metaphysical phenomena. Rather than having the physical and the metaphysical, the "metaphysical" phenomena ARE physical phenomena that we either haven't come to understand yet, or that we understand within a frame created by our senses.

I am a strong believer in this because I have always been able to feel the presence of people in a room without seeing them or hearing them. I have felt sensations through other people, so the only conclusion I can come to is that I'm making use of some of the physical properties that are still denied by most people in the scientific world.

nim
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 09-18-2009, 11:08 PM
Sunshinegrl's Avatar
Sunshinegrl Sunshinegrl is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 227
Default

I am More Empath then Sympathetic. Im a fairly emotional person and I tend to feel a person emotions quiet strongly. Those emotions tend to envelope me and tend to influence my own feelings. I often have strong feelings of things being unsettled/wrong or Off with those around me that I care for and love. And I have learnt to trust those feelings as they have not often been wrong.
__________________
I donít get many things right the first time
In fact, I am told that a lot
Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls
Brought me here...
And where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely face?
Now I see it everyday
And I know that I am
I am, I am
The luckiest..
~ Ben Folds five ~
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 09-26-2009, 05:15 AM
LovingRadiance's Avatar
LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alaska
Posts: 5,167
Default

I read this:

I am an INFJ and have very little difficulty in sensing what is going on with another person, and interpreting what I sense on a feeling level.

And giggled. I'm an ENFJ. I don't even know anyone else who knows about that but my dad!
__________________
"Love As Thou Wilt"
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 09-26-2009, 05:18 AM
LovingRadiance's Avatar
LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alaska
Posts: 5,167
Default

I'm any emathy person. I feel like I'm living it when I talk with someone about their emotions, experiences, feelings. I occassionally have a "huh I can sympathize" moment-but that is VERY rare.
__________________
"Love As Thou Wilt"
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 11:52 AM.