not really poly, not really mono either

I understand that. but having not known us, its kind of a messed up thing to say. but whatever, I see what your trying to say. and im sorry if it seems that way.

we did not confront her last night, she told us she was at home, and so that's what we have to believe.

the more that we are together, the more it feels like she wants to be with us. so its just going to take some time.

until then yes we will be "mellowing" out.
 
She didn't feel like hanging out with you two the other night, and didn't want to hurt your feelings so she fibbed about being tired. I've done it myself, and I suspect most people have. Sure, it's a lie, a white one. I don't think this necessarily indicates that she would be a liar about things that are actually important. At worst, she's a bit of a flake. I am assuming you hadn't already cooked her a four-course dinner or bought event tickets for the evening, and her canceling didn't mean you spent the evening alone, you had your husband with you.

While I personally would prefer dental surgery, without Novocaine, over dating a committed couple as a potential "third," I sure would run far, far away from ANY potential partner who was stalking me on Facebook and wanting me to account for my time.
Oh, the hypocrisy.
 
LOL, hi. I said that because that user was beating on about how one must be respectful and nice to posters if they want them to take their advice. It isn't that I disagree with what she said or the way she said it, it is just that she is completely unable to take the same back.
 
i agree. I really didn't like being called a stalker. especially since im new here, and to this whole thing. I need kind and sensitive rebuttal, not criticism of how im handling a relationship. lol
 
You know, I struggle saying to a romantic partner that I need some alone time, especially because i dont have free time in abundance. Recently I've had to literally practice saying to my partner that I need some me time thus won't be able to see him until later on that weekend or week.
 
I would have preferred her say that she needed time, rather than telling us something different.

we don't take offence, we understand. were not down her throat with crazy accusations.

one step a a time, is my mantra for this situation.
 
Yeah, it wasn't any partner making me feel like that, just a mixture of British politeness and being eager to please.
 
were not British, but we are eager to please. :)

(having not had sexual anything yet, we are super eager to please lol)
 
From the Wikipedia entry on "stalking": Stalking is unwanted or obsessive attention by an individual or group toward another person.

I disagree that noticing the posted location on someone's facebook message even remotely counts as stalking. It's not obsessive, it's not harassment, and given that they're dating and the woman was messaging her willingly, it's not unwanted attention.

Words like stalking used for dramatic emphasis might get your point across, but they detract from the ability to have an open and honest conversation. It derails the discussion into defining what is and is not stalking.

I assure you, no court has ever issued a restraining order for noticing that someone lied on facebook. Just sayin'.

hersweetleaf... I'm curious why you didn't just call her bluff at the time, rather than hang on to the upset and make it a big issue when it probably doesn't need to be. "Hm, that's weird... I know you said you're at home, but your facebook shows that you're at the Starbucks on 1st Ave..."

BTW, that location thing isn't even 100% accurate. If you turn GPS off, it sometimes remembers your last known location. More than once, I've had it pin me at places I'm not. I'm not sure I would actually trust facebook over real humans.
 
I disagree that noticing the posted location on someone's facebook message even remotely counts as stalking. It's not obsessive, it's not harassment, and given that they're dating and the woman was messaging her willingly, it's not unwanted attention.
thank you, I didn't feel like I was stalking when its more like your messaging with that person and it says where they are right under their name. lol. I guess im obsessively observant? lol

hersweetleaf... I'm curious why you didn't just call her bluff at the time, rather than hang on to the upset and make it a big issue when it probably doesn't need to be. "Hm, that's weird... I know you said you're at home, but your facebook shows that you're at the Starbucks on 1st Ave..."
its more like, shes a bit young still, and we don't want to bombard her with all this shit from people shes just getting to know. I feel like if we nit pick and bring up every single little thing, it will scare her off, and that would be that. it was a relatively small thing, and she ended up coming over the next night like she said she would, and said she had started her period. But, she is already a not very social, unsure of her self, and could take or leave conversation/texts. its hard to get anything out of her really. I just don't want to keep being in her face about everything. she has her own life, and her own relationships.

I would actually trust facebook over real humans.
sadly, I have to agree. I love and hate facebook, I hate that it causes so much drama between people, but sometimes, when someone doesn't communicate, all you really have to do is look and you know all about that person and their relationships. double edge sword.

thank you for your reply =)
 
Back
Top