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Old 06-09-2010, 08:45 PM
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Hermes Hermes is offline
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Sheffield
Posts: 9

Hello, everyone. My name's Andy. I'm 24 at time of posting.

For a little over six months, I've been in a relationship with a woman I've known and liked for years, who is one corner of a triad. I get on well enough with her husband and their girlfriend, but am only romantically involved with her. I'm living about 80 miles away from where they're living at the moment, so I only see them at weekends. I'm looking into moving into the area they're soon to be moving to, so that will be a change.

I think I'm settling into poly quite well, though I do have my occasional wobble, but I think that's more to do with my own insecurities than with poly itself. They've been very supportive.

At the same time, I'm also experimenting with my sexuality. Although I know I like (and prefer) women, I have found myself thinking about men on occasion. I've dabbled a little in that regard, but not enough to content myself on where I am with it. A threesome between my girlfriend, her husband and I is somewhat vaguely on the cards, and I'm equally nervous and excited about that.

Before the relationship I'm in, I had two long-term mono relationships with women, from which I was never single for more than a month back to being about 13. So, yeah, I never really had a period of experimentation until now. And I am experimenting quite a lot.

I think that's it. Any questions/comments, feel free to message me. I also have a blog on LJ. My username is Vampire_Hermes.
Link to my Personal Summary.
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Old 06-11-2010, 12:05 AM
Anachronism Anachronism is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 4

I am Anachronism, I'm 18, female, pansexual, and am located in the Midwest. Apologies for being vague in advanced.

I'm a very open minded, loving individual who has never seemed to 'fit', thus the handle Anachronism. I am young, but have surprised many once my age was revealed. I hope it doesn't cause issues here.

For almost the last year I have been seeing a man, I'm going to use E for his name, E and I from the very moment we met had this odd attraction to one another. It was about a month after meeting that we started dating. It was casual at first, but over the first few months we knew we'd be with each other for a while.

E is currently in a poly relationship with his wife, who until recently was in a relationship herself. In the past I never considered poly for myself, even when in the past had been offered to join a relationship. It was until I met E that I gave in, and am glad I did.

Recently I started a relationship with a girl, A will be her name as I am sure she'll be brought up here and there, and because of problems there E and my relationship got a bit strained, but it's better, and grows stronger everyday. Oh and my relationship with A was very short lived.
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Old 06-12-2010, 11:14 PM
Zeibyasis Zeibyasis is offline
New Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 2
Red face Zei


I'll introduce myself as Zei [pronounced like the letter Z alone]. I -do- have a normal birth given name, but I actually prefer Zei due to its very personal identification. =D I'll be 25 on July 4th.

I'm not religious so much as I am spiritual. I find spirituality very personal and unique to the individual. I'm an artist. There are many hobbies and things I enjoy to do. I love good conversation, good food, cooking, hiking, exploring the outdoors, geocaching, reading, tea...I do love tea [I have an entire cabinet dedicated to my tea], drawing, painting, crafting, music, concerts, the zoo, kitties, gaming, and I'm a huge movie buff. I'm actually quite the nerd.

I live with my boyfriend in Colorado. We are very new to this lifestyle choice. It's been a little over a month since I brought up the idea. I wasn't sure he'd be okay with it, but I knew he'd listen. Lucky for me he is quite excited about the idea himself!

I personally stumbled into the idea of being poly by being forced to evaluate my mental and emotional state in realizing I just feel my capacity for loving people is endless. My boy and I have had some rough spots where I thought I had fallen for someone else, and this meant I had to leave him because obviously in this society I was raised in it was not okay to have more than one person to intimately care for! I never actually did, he let me be stupid and held my hand [so to speak] the whole way. Sure we have our problems but what relationship doesn't?

Then, I had a friend mention how she and her boy have a tendency to coax people into bed with them...and realized that I was strangely comfortable with this idea. It all fell into place after that. I started to research the idea, I knew that people had non-monogamous relationships...but I never really looked into it to understand to what extent. The more I read and learned, the more I felt like I'd found a place to be comfortable. It was very liberating! Not too long after I approached my boy about it and we've been discussing it on and off ever since. We're both very happy and it has seemed to bring us even closer together.

I can't really say what I'm interested in finding at the moment. More or less just friends to talk to about it, people that are understanding and open as well. It's not exactly something to broadcast to the world in our society...nor do I feel it needs to be. I want to make new poly friends.

So, Hai!
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Old 06-13-2010, 10:04 PM
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lamnidae lamnidae is offline
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 20

My name is Erin, and I am 27. My husband is 30 and we have been in relationship with an amazing woman (I think I will refer to her as L) for the past 3 months. My husband and L have known each other for 2 years, and in the past 6 months it became very evident that they shared a connection. She and I had never really spent time together, but once we started it was very evident that we shared a connection as well. The beginning was bumpy as my husband was slammed with a couple of jealousy issues that he didn't think were an issue. He has worked his behind off dealing with them, and I would venture to say things have reached a comfortable place. So, here I am!
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Old 06-21-2010, 12:22 PM
Elliott Elliott is offline
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 6

I live in Yorkshire, my family in Lancashire. I'm 20 and at University.

I'm a trans man, living with my fiance H, a genderless person and loving also a trans woman E and a cis woman C.

I've never been in a monogamous relationship in my life. I love my three partners, all of whom are either open or searching for another partner themselves. I think people think that i'm the only poly person in our little group and that I just date any girl I want but that's not true.

I'm very much in love with my partners and we are long term, hopefully for life.
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Old 07-02-2010, 08:36 AM
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Sorcha17 Sorcha17 is offline
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Boston
Posts: 13

New to this site as a member although I have been a guest viewer on here for a couple of months. Very new to identifying as polyamorous. About 3 years ago I was made aware of the term and read a few of the books that have been mentioned on some threads here. Very happy to have found it- I literally thought there was something ethically wrong with me. I felt relief to know that yes there is a community of people just like me and I am not so odd. I have a lot to give and need to explore every worthy relationship in it's entirety.

I am divorced but currently in three relationships: a primary bf, a secondary gf and a secondary LDR-secondary, not tertiary because it has been an ongoing affair since 1989. I am bisexual but most of my life my primary relationships have been with men. My husband and I officially split up 6 months ago. He tried valiantly to deal with my poly lifestyle and as a monogamously identifying man it was quite a fete. I love him for his efforts. In the end, he could not handle it and the stress was zapping the energy out of our relationship-although he did try to have a secondary relationship with another lovely woman, he just isn't able to feel balance or juggle the relationships. He has moved on and so am I. I was crushed at first because after 10 years I thought we were in a place of openess and trust and understanding. Towards the end of my marriage I was already in a relationship with my now primary. My husband asked me to give him up and I struggled thru a brief breakup before I confessed to my husband that I could not give up my bf, that the love was deep and valued. It just wasn't possible for me to walk away from it.

My ex and I have two beautiful children (two girls- 10 and 7) and are doing everything to make this transition easy for them. We are the best of friends afterall and have loved eachother the majority of our adult lives. So- we have a common interest in seeing our children growup happy and healthy and have been very careful to not let our other relationships interfere with that. He is seeing a great woman now, I was a little jealous at first but now I see that they are so much better suited; as am I with my lifestyle. That is me in a nutshell.

I welcome and would love for anyone to suggest other sites or threads on here that I may find interesting in exploring opening up about my lifestyle. It is still quite secret to most people in my life: some family and friends and especially coworkers are unaware, although I would like to be a bit more open about it. I also need some suggestions as to how to really keep my kids happy and introduce them to poly in as natural a way as possible- no traumatic "outings" is of utmost importance!
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Old 07-04-2010, 01:26 PM
Bicple16667 Bicple16667 is offline
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 5
Default Bedford Pa couple

We are a married poly swinger couple from the Bedford Pa area, very bi fem, orally bi male. We are looking for friends, playmates, and possible LTR. We are both artists & musicians, long haired old hippys, love country living, very open minded, like to party, and are 420 friendly. Give us a shout if you think you'd like to get to know us.
Thanks :-)
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Old 07-06-2010, 01:22 PM
Astrid Astrid is offline
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 5
Default Astrid

I am in a long-term poly relationship which is starting to um.. grow complicated.

It is a f-m-f with a firm agreement of poly-fidelity, though recently is has gone from an equilateral triangle to a V with the boyfriend as the hinge. The falling out is not necessarily anyone's fault but a deepening relationship between (we'll call them Olivia and Peter) in which I, Astrid, have become the emotional fail-safe.
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Old 07-06-2010, 09:00 PM
FormerUnicorn FormerUnicorn is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 119
Default In hindsight, it's obvious...

I'm a married, 27 year old bisexual female living in Wasilla, Alaska, and I'd say I'm somewhat new to the concept of conscious, conscientious polyamory, though I'm no stranger to it in practice.

From my earliest relationships, I was saddened by the pressure to be a serial monogamist, and I made a nominal effort to conform to this largely because it was what was expected, and I had no idea that there could be anything else. I was constantly and consistently guilty of emotional affairs, though I never felt guilty about them, and I tried to be honest about my feelings to the people I was with. My candidness usually bought me a lot of forgiveness, but it wasn't an easy path by any means.

I usually found myself entangled in multiple ongoing relationships that from the outside must have seemed horribly complex, but from the inside seemed perfectly normal. I just assumed that I had loose morals, chalked it up to being young, and figured I'd be over it by the time I met someone I really wanted to spend the rest of my life with. It never really bothered me, since it seemed like I had the time, energy, and most importantly the love necessary to sustain these various relationships, and I didn't feel like I was lying to any of the people in them.

Over the next few years, I found myself as the unicorn in two different, loving marriages.

The first happened when I had just moved back to England, through an organization I met a woman who invited me to hang out some time. We really hit it off, and her husband was taciturn, but had a wicked sense of humor, and I was hooked and completely stoked that I made such a great pair of friends.

I was highly amused when I showed up at their house a few weeks later and they admitted to plotting to get me into their bed. I had wondered if this was the case, and when I indicated that I would be up for that, they laid out their ground rules (which mostly limited the quality of the alone time I had with the husband) and I agreed that it sounded like an interesting and fun arrangement. I was growing very close to the wife in any case, and what had begun as something jokingly physical, grew into something happy and honest and very fulfilling.

I viewed the next year and a half as a magically blissful time in my existence, but when the pair found out they were pregnant, I was shut out of their lives, with the explanation that they needed to focus on one another while they came to terms with this new and exciting change.

Needless to say, my head understood, but my heart did not, and I didn't want to admit to myself that I was hurt. In hindsight, it's clear that I went into mourning for what I had lost so abruptly. I didn't even see them again until the baby was born, and though we were still willing to offer our friendship and love, that closeness that made things special was gone.

I moved to California for a guy I fell for, and we made a damn good go of it, but I was reacting badly to some medication that made me an emotional train wreck and the relationship was not strong enough to survive this. I was propositioned by an adorable female coworker of mine, who made it clear from the get go that she liked me and she wanted me to meet her husband. I was too amused at her forwardness to turn her invitation down.

Thus began the most emotionally complete, stable, loving relationship that I'd ever been in. I had never expected the first triad, and the fact that I found love and happiness in the unusual arrangement felt like a happy accident. Finding this second one and knowing what could come of it truly felt like a miracle to me. From nearly the first moment I came to the house, I was welcomed with open arms by the young wife, the much older husband, and even his two mostly-grown boys. There weren't the restrictions that were placed on me in the first triad, and I reveled in the emotional connections that I built, together and separately.

I have never known so much love in a house before, and it was a wonderful place to put the pieces of myself back together. It became clear over the next six months that this beautiful relationship was the only thing keeping me in California, and despite their urging that I move into their spare room when my lease was up, I decided to move back to England. I don't know what I was afraid of, but the economy was terrible even before the country's economy tanked and when I was laid off of yet another job I could not in good conscience become a dependent of this wonderful family.

If I mourned the loss of the first relationship, I was truly adrift at the loss of this second one--and by my own hand--and to be honest I miss them to this day.

And then I met my husband.

(To be continued)
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Old 07-08-2010, 08:40 PM
noisymother noisymother is offline
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: The Lake District, UK
Posts: 5
Default Once upon a time . . .

Gradually my husband and I realised that he needed to become 'she' - that was the solution to the problems we'd been experiencing for the past year or so. And that's the path we're embarking on. Part of this new life is me deciding that because I still want a relationship with my partner - albeit non-sexual - and I want to have some fun and see some other guys - I am polyamorous.

I don't want a big one on one romantic relationship - I have been there and done that. With my personal situation and rural location a few 'Friends with Benefits' would work perfectly. I've signed up with Ok Cupid and am chatting online to a few guys and am meeting up with one guy in particular - who lives across the water rather inconveniently - in a couple of months time.

Friendship, open-ness and honesty are paramount - without those there is nothing.
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