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Old 05-11-2010, 07:22 AM
ShelteredShe ShelteredShe is offline
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Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 2

Hey, I'm just 34, and married for just 9 years. Husband has been making noises about possibly having another lady join our family, and I'm warming up to the idea. As my screen name suggests, I'm pretty sheltered when it comes to experience. We're people of faith and have two small children, so that can complicate things a bunch.

At this point, we're both exploring what's even available, and or possibly comfortable for us. Lots of discussion, and learning going on. Our marriage is a wonderful relationship, but both of us are considering things.
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Old 05-14-2010, 11:11 PM
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sage sage is offline
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 633
Default Thanks


I started having a cruise around your forum a couple of days ago when I was feeling particularly sad about my relationship but you guys have helped a lot, now I feel much better about things and our relationship has improved already.

I think your forum is really important for people exploring poly issues because a lot of us live in world that is still at odds with it and so we have no other avenue for support at times when we really need it.

I have been "poly attuned" philosophically for a long time but since my marriage broke up and I fell in love with my new partner I have found it really difficult to accept his continued love for a secondary. But now with the help of the forum I am confident that I can grow into the life and my relationship with be all the better for it.
thanks again

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Old 05-18-2010, 08:35 PM
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phoenix762 phoenix762 is offline
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 48

Just wanted to post SOMETHING...I was just fascinated by the idea of polyamory, and I wonder if this would have been something that would have saved our marriage. Then again, perhaps not.

I am not in a relationship at all, and at the moment am not looking for one, I am just amazed at the idea of this.
I used to think that a lifestyle like this would be the ultimate idea if it existed (and recall telling my second husband that, too), but, well, anyway....society's mores and ideas and such get in the way, hehe.

Well, little did I know. This does exist. Pretty cool.

So, I hate to lurk around without letting others at least know who I am, ya know?

I am 47, have a son, am separated, but still married. My husband lives in another state with his GF of oh, what, 6 years now? Yeah...think so anyhow.

We have no relationship at all save for the occasional e-mail contact. I have full physical and financial custody of my son, by verbal agreement. Nothing is legal.

I live in Philly, and work as a respiratory therapist.
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Old 05-20-2010, 04:29 PM
DharmaBum23 DharmaBum23 is offline
Join Date: May 2010
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 96
Red face

In a nutshell.

I'm 34 years old, I have been poly in two relationships(one in around 2001 and the other from 2005 up until today).

I have had quite a few things that I have had to work on in poly that are enough of a low roar that I wouldn't point them out as a current issue(jealousy, worry of being "left out" because of other partners, etc.). The current thing I was trying to work through until very recently was that I haven't been able to find any form of secondary/tertiary/OSO(whatever term you would prefer).

After some things that happened recently I decided to focus much more on self work then on looking for a secondary. I hope to start looking again, maybe by the end of 2010, but probibly closer to about this time next year.
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Old 05-30-2010, 03:09 AM
lexisme lexisme is offline
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 9
Unhappy My name is Lex ~

My name is Lex,I've been in a poly relationship for almost a yr.I am married to my Hubby for 23yrs & my poly friend is married as well.His wife is not poly & this type of relationship between her Hubby & I ~ I will call him JJ~ was eating her up.His wife & I are close friends I will call her ML.ML broke our poly relationship up 3 wks ago.I'm still trying to deal with my feelings on this.I no JJ has deep feeling for me as well as I do for him.ML & JJ don't have a close Marriage bond like Hubby & I do.So I think JJ chose to stay with ML & try to work on his marriage. JJ has not sat down with me I feel lost,hurt.I'm not mad at JJ cause I know he's not strong enough to face me I think he would break down & he's trying to avoid me for that reason.My Hubby has been wonderful.He is the one who has been there to support me.He's not a poly person but he does believe in poly for other people.I know ML has feeling for me as well as JJ does.That is a whole other story.She also wants all 4 of us to stay friends.She still wants to hang out like the good old days.We tried doing this last wk but things feel different.I don't think we can ever be like we use to be.ML doesn't want to believe that JJ & I had feelings for each other.She wants to believe it was sex driven.That is not true- there were many time where we didn't have sex.I'm not sure what to think how to feel.I'm a lost soul right now.I want to believe that this is not over that JJ & ML will work things out & JJ will come back.......

On a happy note I'm not giving up on Polyamory.I would luv to meet more people that live this life style & learn from you!!

Thanks for reading,Luv Lex
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Old 05-31-2010, 07:21 PM
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pyxiegrl pyxiegrl is offline
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 12
Default me...

Well a little about me. My husband and I have been married for 2 years and together for almost 3 and have a 1 year old. When we first started dating he was very up front with me about his sexuality and thought on relationships. He is bi sexual and have always liked the idea of polyamory. He had been upfront with prior girlfriends though it never worked out. I had told him that I was not closed to the idea but I believed that a primary relationship had to be strong first to ever think about it. I did tell him that I was not in to random threesomes and that I didn't enjoy having sex with women. After this he decided that I was not interseted in polyamory nor would I ever be. (Sometimes he doesn't listen well)

We have had a very open relationship in our bedroom as much as you can between 2 people. I am very open to his bi sexuality and he knows he is welcome to have a boyfriend at anytime. He has never taken that route though, just having some random, non sexual encounters.

He is very loyal and a very wonderful person. He has had it in his head that I was and would always be a monogamous person.

After our child was born I had a lot of health problems that pretty much killed our sex life. Him being a very sexual person this was disastorous (did I spell that right?) Well that being said almost all communication was lost and we became just people living together and resented eachother most of the time. I had mentioned that he needed to find a girl friend or I thought it would be the end of our marriage. As he never took me up on it my health has started to improve and our marriage is much better then it was.

Well we had the polyamoures talk again and I again told him that a relationship would have to be strong in order to take it on. We also began to talk about what kind of relationship would work best for us. We do believe it would be a quad.

Though we are not at a point to take another couple on, we are talking about it and communication had been very open with us and good. We are building our marriage stronger and better. As I know this conversation will continue and I am sure that we will have questions I figure this would be a good place.

Whew... I talk a lot.
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Old 06-01-2010, 08:37 PM
PolyLamour PolyLamour is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Saskatchewan Canada
Posts: 4

I'm 28 and living in Saskatchewan Canada.
I was part of a serious triadic relationship for a year until he and I totally messed it up (she felt insecure and did not want us sleeping together with out her and we did anyway) and she gave me the emotional boot until I caught on and physically left. Well I've missed them like I couldnt even imagine was possible and am positive I have learned my lesson. It's three years later and she has forgiven us, on here she will be Y and he will be J. I have never been so happy. We've only been back together since May 29/10 and though they currently live two provinces away they are planning on moving in with me by next spring. I wanted to join here because I'm hoping with a little support maybe we can manage not to break it this time, and I'm just soooo darn happy I want to shout from the rooftops... though not even my brother wants to hear about that. I thought you all might not mind as much.

Last edited by PolyLamour; 06-04-2010 at 03:26 PM. Reason: adding details
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Old 06-03-2010, 05:34 PM
Edward Edward is offline
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 40

I'm Edward. I'm 52, and have been in a poly relationship for around 23 years with two women (A and A2, let's say). Legally married to one, and have one daughter (19).
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Old 06-06-2010, 06:50 PM
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Bucephalus Bucephalus is offline
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 9
Default non-mono, poly-curious; ehyeh asher ehyeh

I am what is called philosophically polyamorous, but I am also open to purely monogamous relationships if conditions are right.

I am new to the poly community, this being my first real venture, but I am not new to the idea of polyamory, nor have I ever questioned myself as polyamorous after first being introduced to the concept about four years ago. I am also pansexual, though I have not yet fallen for someone not of the opposite gender.

As for my relationship history, it is extremely brief. I have one current partner, who is the only partner I've ever had, and we have been together for over a year now, though we have been friends and interested for over six. My partner is a mono, but he is gradually understanding and opening up to me being poly. I established with him, early on, that I may not be exclusive to him in the future.

As a side note, it was Robert Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land that first introduced the concept of polyamory to me.

Though I know I am polyamorous, I still consider myself poly-curious because of my lack of practical experience with polyamorous relationhips and the polyamorous community, as well as because of my openness to monogamy.

To explain my title, I am pretty secure in my own orientation (as secure as someone my age can be), and am simply searching for that tag which encompasses them.
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Old 06-08-2010, 09:26 PM
CharlotteCorday CharlotteCorday is offline
New Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 4

Hi! You can call me Charlotte, I'm 30 and left my homeland 2 years ago, and I've been living with a guy since then. We're not married, but we do are committed to each other. Since the beginning, we agreed to have an open relationship because we both think that it's best for us than traditional monogamy.

(By the way, english is not my "primary language", so I apologize for any mistake)

I met my partner on the internet, when I was planning my trip to his country (I wanted to study something here). We chatted almost everyday during a year, in a friendly way; but when we actually met we realized we were in love and decided to give it a try.

We are learning how to develop an open relationship, and I'm sure I will learn lots thanks to the people around this forum!
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