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Old 07-23-2014, 05:25 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alaska
Posts: 5,353

I am in a V. I'm the hinge. Maca is my husband GreenGecko is my boyfriend. We all live together as a rule of thumb. But currently Maca is working out of town and the kids and I are bouncing back and forth.
"Love As Thou Wilt"
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Old 07-26-2014, 06:46 AM
Attarax Attarax is offline
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 10

Just posted in intro the bare essentials, I though posting a more fleshed out personal summary would be beneficial...I hope.

So I'm here mostly because I have a want to learn more about poly. That when I found out there was a term for the situations I found myself in the relief that I felt was almost at the same level when I found out there was nothing wrong with me being bi.

My husband and my boyfriend are wonderful men who would let me talk their ears off about anything, but when it comes to this I get the deer in headlights look and the responses of "Are you worried?" or "Everything is going well, why are you stressing?"

Which is, I guess, the main reason I have been lurking on boards, scouring the internet for information, and have finally decided that okay, maybe I need to actually have some back and forth communication with a community that openly discusses these situations.

So here I am...wow, I really suck at personal summations. Sorry.

I'll probably be spending the rest of my evening (Both the hubby and bf are out at the shop playing Pathfinder with the group, it's my one night away for "me time" *yay!) perusing threads and seeing what I can glean off of others before I post my own "Okay this is what's going on..please help? Insights?" thread.

Thank you for your time, in advance.

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Old 08-13-2014, 05:10 AM
AyFondKiss AyFondKiss is offline
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Travel the world with work - currently in Netherlands
Posts: 10
Thumbs up Hello

Hi everyone - hope I'm not double posting, typed for about 30 mins then lost the thing in print preview.... Grrrrr

Anyway, I'm a Bi woman, the secondary relationship in a Vee where the hinge is another Bi-girl in an open relationship with her husband.

Long version: a year ago I split from a 22 year lesbian relationship, leaving partner and 3 kids. For about 6 months had sluttish phase seeking no-strings FWB relationships. Had fun but became disillusioned with the number of unwanted attachments and broken hearts.

I run an informal support group for Bi girls, and one of them I finally met (we live on different continents). We were attracted, slept together then found ourselves falling in love which neither was looking for or wanted. We tried breaking up but were both miserable. A friend recommended a book, The Ethical Slut, which described a world where our relationship could work. So that's what we have been trying for the last few months - an emotional roller-coaster of discovery!!

I'm still struggling with bouts of jealousy so am seeking support on that. I also may try to make another relationship to take the pressure off this love a bit so advice on that would also be welcome.
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Old 08-14-2014, 04:19 PM
Semienigma Semienigma is offline
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 12

Hello there! This is Semienigma, usually if you see a Semienigma anywhere, that would normally be me.

I've never been in any kind of romantic relationship due to fear, mainly and seeing so many relationships around me crash and burn. Kind of a mentality of "Can't sink in a boat I haven't boarded". Awkward I know XD

Anyway, I'm 28, plus size black woman that loves to listen to music of many kinds.

I don't have any experience in dating so there is nothing there. How I can go from that to considering Poly is a bit weird. I am for the most part straight (I think) and even though I have no attraction to women, I don't rule out having a relationship with one(or more?)

I would prefer a emotional relationship since the idea of sex with others makes me a little uneasy.
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Old 08-18-2014, 12:57 PM
polyrar polyrar is offline
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Ohio
Posts: 17

You can call me polyRAR. For the time-being I am trying to keep myself (and by extension, everyone else I am involved with) anonymous for the time-being because I don't want it to effect those around me.

Me as an individual: I am 27, living in Dayton, OH. I identify as pan/bisexual, and I am more on the line of "gender fluid" than anything else. I have my more feminine moments, and my more masculine moments, and I like it like that. (Throughout different parts of my life one of my favorite personal games is to dress in such a way to hide my gender from the public, just to see how it effects those who interact with me. FUN!!) I am an artist, currently working a full-time retail job to make ends meet. I am naturally a more introverted person - I usually need "hermit time" away from people to feel recharged - but over the years I have worked on becoming an ambivert. I try to be kind and happy with everyone I meet (one of my mottos could be "kill them with kindness!") I am very patient - sometimes to a fault, when I will bury things in an effort to "not make waves" when really I should address the issues that are bothering me. I like animals, a lot, and in lieu of children we just have pets, nieces, nephews, and godchildren.

I learned about polyamoury when I was seventeen or eighteen, when one of my friends introduced me to the idea. That friend and her husband (I will call them The L's) opened their relationship up to me a few years later and we all tried on polyamoury for a night, but we were young and really didn't know what we were doing. The poly relationship didn't last very long (I think 30-some hours) but The L's are still some of my closest friends and I am an adopted aunt/godmother to their children. We still sometimes joke about that night, and, as my friend has said, "she watched me get intimate with her husband, she can trust me with anything."

My relationships
"Primary" - I have been together with my husband for over five years, and we have been married for almost a whole year. We both came out as poly within the first three months of our relationship, and have been working together as a couple on that aspect of our lives (and every aspect of our lives) ever since. Every facet of my personality that I have to work on comes naturally to hubby: he is confident, charismatic, logical, and whereas I have a fuse that never seems to end he is usually the one egging me on to make the changes in my life that I need to. I balance him out as well, urging him toward patience, creativity, and open-mindedness. Hubby is going to school for political science and is going to work in local government (one of the reasons I am trying to keep our identities a little more hidden.)

Secondaries -
Miss J - Hubby's "girlfriend"/other wife. She is an absolutely amazing woman, intellectual, well-read, well-educated. She is an actress, has just finished defending her doctorate in theater, and moving forward in her professional life in her own way. Miss J has very specific physical needs, and for this reason she still lives with her mom. While Hubby, myself, and Miss J are all close we all know that we will probably never be able to live together due to Miss J's special needs. We're all okay with this, because we all know that our life-paths were meant to intersect, but may never fall in line together. I collaborate with Miss J on a regular basis, and she is my creative-sounding-board when Hubby won't suffice.
Miss K - a young woman Hubby is interested in, but still only talking to. It came out to her very early on that we are poly, and she is still interested in dating Hubby. I have not met her yet, but I'm okay with this - I realize that since poly is such a new idea to her that meeting me will probably take time.
Miss M - a love-interest of mine, and also a soon-to-be-in-law. She is Hubby's brother's fiance. I met her out-and-about a few months before she began dating my bro-in-law, and I deferred my feelings for her while their relationship blossomed. We are "sisters", and sometimes lovers, and she helped me experiment with a part of my sexuality (same-sex relationships) that I hadn't been able to explore fully before.
Miss Y - my second love-interest; we identify ourselves as "romantic/sexual friends" or "playmates". She has been one of my best friends for over a decade since highschool, and we have always had feelings for each other but never been in a place (emotionally, psychologically, or physically) to act on it until now. Our romantic relationship is much more complicated, due in part to a person she is still involved with.

And that's about it!
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Old 08-18-2014, 06:22 PM
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MusicalRose MusicalRose is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Central Ohio
Posts: 299


If you didn't already know about it, the Dayton area has a pretty good local community, and the Columbus area has an incredibly active local community that a lot of people from Dayton come out to meet with from time to time. The Dayton Meetup group is found here (http://www.meetup.com/DAPDiscussion/) and the Columbus one is here (http://www.meetup.com/PolyColumbus/).

There will also be a convention in Columbus on the weekend of November 7th-9th that is a more in-depth and intensive type of poly event. Tickets are on sale now and you can find more information here (http://beyondthelove.org/).

Glad you've joined the forum. Ohio is a great place to be for poly folk right now. :-)
Me: Female, pan/bi-sexual, polyamorous
R: Male, husband, heteroflexible, polyamorous, together since Oct 2008, married since Jun 2014
J: Male, eschews labels, heterosexual, various involvements, involved-ish since Feb 2014
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