Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Introductions

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #381  
Old 03-30-2014, 10:54 PM
swirlingnurse's Avatar
swirlingnurse swirlingnurse is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Southern CA
Posts: 24
Smile

Hi everyone,

I'm Deborah. Glad to have found this site. I'm married to J and in a loving relationship at the same time with P, who is a good friend of J's. Before meeting any of them, I became intimate with S, with whom I have been a friend for 20 years. Looking forward to getting to exchanging thoughts and beliefs about polyamory with all of you
__________________
I am D, a bisexual Cougar (white)
J is my younger, heterosexual husband (black)
P is my younger, heterosexual boyfriend (black)
S is my bisexual best friend and girlfriend (white)
Reply With Quote
  #382  
Old 04-02-2014, 07:39 PM
Kokomoguy Kokomoguy is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2
Default Hello

Hi I am a married (currently separated) man. I have been married for 13 years. Until a few days ago I didn't even realize polyamory was a thing! Never came across it. Anyway I found it interesting to read a post somewhere about "coming out" and how it was a situation that caused some level of anxiety, and something clicked for me! You see I have lived with nameless gnawing for many many years! I could relate instantly with what the writer had said. I find it so very difficult to understand only loving one person with the most fascinating form of love that we share!
I have to admit for years I have engaged in physical relationships with a number of others and the few that over the years we have regularly spent time together have become beloved parts of my life.
So I guess my inquiry is this: Is my situation similar to anyone else's? Am I way off on what polyamory is?
Thanks for reading and thanks in advance for responding
Reply With Quote
  #383  
Old 04-02-2014, 08:26 PM
ColorsWolf's Avatar
ColorsWolf ColorsWolf is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: CA, U.S.A.
Posts: 360
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kokomoguy View Post
Hi I am a married (currently separated) man. I have been married for 13 years. Until a few days ago I didn't even realize polyamory was a thing! Never came across it. Anyway I found it interesting to read a post somewhere about "coming out" and how it was a situation that caused some level of anxiety, and something clicked for me! You see I have lived with nameless gnawing for many many years! I could relate instantly with what the writer had said. I find it so very difficult to understand only loving one person with the most fascinating form of love that we share!
I have to admit for years I have engaged in physical relationships with a number of others and the few that over the years we have regularly spent time together have become beloved parts of my life.
So I guess my inquiry is this: Is my situation similar to anyone else's? Am I way off on what polyamory is?
Thanks for reading and thanks in advance for responding
I say in my personal opinion: polyamory is what you and those involved define it as.

The basic definition is: more than 2 people involved in a loving way with each other and with complete knowledge of this. The difference between this and monogamy is only: there are more than 2 people involved and knowing of it.

The rest is up to you and those involved.

You don't have to even 'call' it "polyamory" as I do not think that many "couples" call their relationship "monogamy". It is simply a reference for many.

Glad to help, if you have any more questions feel free to ask: that is what this forum is for.
__________________
Love yourself, you are beautiful!~ ^_^

*Believe in yourself, you can do anything*!~ ^_^

Appreciate every thing, every thing is precious.~

Reply With Quote
  #384  
Old 04-04-2014, 02:48 AM
mporegon's Avatar
mporegon mporegon is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: portland
Posts: 1
Default hello from Oregon

hi everyone, I am new to poly and learning. I am in a relationship that is very loving and we are exploring poly. Right now we have reached out to a few local poly groups and have attended meetings.We have met some wonderful folks.

Cheers,
MP
Reply With Quote
  #385  
Old 04-04-2014, 11:43 AM
laerhk laerhk is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 12
Default All About Me...mostly me. And a little about others...

I'm C, aka Laerhk. 37, almost 38 years old. I've been married 6.5 years, with J for 10.5. We have 3 girls together, elementary and preschool ages.

I have spent the last 7.5 years coming to terms with being bi. In the meantime a close friend/ex from high school, W have remained close yet on-again/off-again emotionally. (since high school we both moved far away, into seperate states for different reasons). My husband J knew about our friendship (I had asked W to be my Man of Honor) but didnt realize how close W and I were. J didn't really pay any attention to anything the whole time we've been together.

This past year, everything has been brought to a head. Last April, I made the remark to my mom that I was done with my marriage, I just didn't care anymore. I was done trying--having conversations, mostly. We got along fine as long as I didn't ask for anything--help with housework/the kids, opinions and interests, personal thoughts. In August, I reconnected with W again via facebook (we were already friends, but going through off-again) due to a picture he had found of us and shared. Nostalgia kicked in. We started talking all the time, about everything. I was on cloud 9. I told J I was talking with W and didn't get any reaction until W came here to visit for a week, staying with us. After W left, J finally started to engage, though it did take a few more months and me scheduling marital counseling for us, asking for a divorce, etc.

W asked I choose, J is now a full partner...and we've been dealing with my emotions ever since. I want both. W has stopped all communication with me and I STILL want both. I couldn't figure out why choosing was so hard until I realized I didn't have to. They might not (probably NEVER) agree with it, but it's my only solution. Even if our relationship doesn't work out (and I have accepted it won't with W, and it hurts so much. Broken, bleeding heart all over the place) I have decided I can't go through something like this again. I can't turn off love for one, because it affects how I feel, act, and react to others I love and I become angry. I can't do that anymore. So now I'm working on explaining all of this to J so he understands what's going on in my head. I'm also trying to figure out what I want, what J will agree to (he found out I'm bi during all this and girls are okay--not thrilled, but is okay, guys are not), and whether or not we can make it work.

While we have his, hers, and sometimes ours counseling going on, we also (thankful!!) have a friend who is a doctorate of psychology that I talk with sometimes to sort out my feelings. She is the one who named what I was feeling--polyamory--so here I am, to learn, to listen. I'm really excited about this for me, concerned about what it may mean for my current relationship, but it can't get worse than it has been this winter. At least now, no matter what happens, the communication so far has been helpful though painful and difficult and I know J and I are both capable of continuing THAT at least.

Being here on this forum has already helped a lot: I know not to go looking for an elusive unicorn, even though I'm thinking it isn't just a HBB I'm looking for...
Reply With Quote
  #386  
Old 04-04-2014, 11:35 PM
ffcep2 ffcep2 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Lake Havasu City
Posts: 11
Default Hello

HI to all,

My wife and I are bi and have been married for 8 fantastic years. We have dated one other person before for just over 2 years and found the poly life to be what we were missing. We look forward to meeting people and being able to be open about who we are without concern of retribution. We look forward to hearing from you.
Reply With Quote
  #387  
Old 06-07-2014, 06:40 AM
Jade99 Jade99 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Edmonton, AB
Posts: 6
Smile Just a Hello :)

Hello everyone. I'm a swf and have tried different types of relationships. I have had the one sided monogamous, been in a relationship with 2 men, relationship where I was the new 3rd party. There are so many terms for everything it makes my head spin. Out of the different arrangements, I enjoyed was happiest and more fulfilled having an open relationship with 2 others. It wasn't really all about sex and we took care of each other. It is a subject that doesn't seem really acceptable to discuss in the real world and seem to keep my views primarily to myself. I feel you can have very successful relationship being "non-monogamous" or polyamorous if everyone is on the same page and communicates. I'm not sure what I hope to gain or meet others in my area. Eventually, for myself personally, I would like to be in a cohabiting, functioning, and committed polyamorous relationship. I also stand firm that there is a big difference dating someone who is with someone else and not open to the other partner (this monogamous cheater) and dating someone who is ok with expanding their relationship to include a 3rd person. (I typed this on my phone so please excuse any missed grammatical errors)

The relationship that was the most interesting: I was seeing 2 men who knew about each other... Each guy was also dating another woman. My 1 guy wanted to meet the other, other said no. I met 1 woman but not the other. This lasted a yr. None of us lived together. I absolved both partnerships for specific reason. Found out one woman actually didn't consent to the relationship which was not part of the rules. The female partner of other man grew crazy jealous and she started stalking me. That guy accused me of being jealous when I addressed the problem with him. Both proving they were not the right partners for me.

I'm glad I found a place I can be open, honest, and finally being able to discuss everything with

Last edited by Jade99; 06-07-2014 at 07:16 AM. Reason: Adding more info
Reply With Quote
  #388  
Old 06-11-2014, 02:03 AM
MyPrettyPinkPinCushion MyPrettyPinkPinCushion is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: New England
Posts: 1
Default Hello from the Green Mountains

Hi,I'm PP, 37 and I've been married to TT for almost 8 years, we have two great kids, chickens, a couple dogs and lots of gardens. We fairly recently opened our relationship sexually and found a whole new world. What started as something almost purely sexual turned to a great awakening for both of us as to what we want and need in a relationship. It has been a process that if nothing else has expanded our communication like never before. With my last partner I realized that I could love more then one man at a time and that I wanted to. So I opened up that conversation with my husband and has lead to more great communication. Unfortunately (for me) that relationship ended because he is much more mono and found a woman he wanted to date. So I'm now trying to find a man who is interested in being more then a sexual extra. All the while expanding my understanding of myself, my husband and our relationship. This is a wild and awesome ride I have been lurking here for a month or so but thought it was time to introduce myself and I hope to meet like minded people here who enjoy being able to talk freely about all of this. A quick and dirty intro, forgive any mistakes.
PP, 37, straight female
TT, 32, husband, straight
Reply With Quote
  #389  
Old 06-12-2014, 11:24 AM
bururadu bururadu is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Germany
Posts: 1
Default Hi everybody!

Iím a 30 year old female, living in Germany. Iíve been monogamous my entire life but I canít say that I am programmed this way. When my husband asked me to marry him, everyone around me was getting divorced, mostly because of communication issues and cheating situations. That's when I found out about polyamory. There was suddenly a new perspective on relationships, one that none of us knew about. My husband is monogamous and we did marry eventually but it was the openness of multiple loves that helped me approach my own relationship with more generosity. I know that whatever I do is my choice and I try to be open with my partner as well as with myself. My interest in polyamory is still alive and Iím exploring it in my profession. Iím a film director, currently preparing a feature documentary about this. I hope to find people that want to share their emotional story with the rest of us.
Thanks all for sharing your thoughts.
Reply With Quote
  #390  
Old 06-19-2014, 12:43 AM
EvilKnight EvilKnight is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Central Indiana
Posts: 1
Default Introduce Myself

Hello,
I go by EvilKnight. Alias I have had for a few decades. Kind of an oxymoron of the white knight motif. I divorced a few years ago and have recently been doing the online dating sites (OKC: EvilKnight also). I typically skip profiles espousing polyamory. They mostly struck me as sounding too aloof about relationships. Might have just been avoiding the worst of bad messaging...

Anyway, I did read one that sounded sweet and had a nice question of my views. I struck up a conversation and now find myself dating and developing a relationship with a poly woman. I have met her husband and significant other and they are nice guys. I find myself not put off by the situation. It seems like it could be complicated especially for the people juggling the concerns of multiple partners. I do like the openness and communication that is actively maintained. It can feel very contractual and business-like at times .

I am here to explore and see how people make it work.

Sincerely,
EK
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
polandry mfm, polyandry family

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 12:11 AM.