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  #251  
Old 04-06-2012, 08:42 AM
GypsyRose GypsyRose is offline
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My name is GypsyRose. My partner and l live in South Africa. I am bi and he is bi too. We classify bi as being able to fall inlove with and or sexually engage with people of both sexes. We love each other very much and we are tremendously grateful that we have found each other.
I am 36, was miserably married for 13 years before I decided that I need to leave. My partner, I'll call him Taliesin, have been married 3 times before and he is 54.

Although I have always been of the monogamous mind, after meeting T I realized that the way we live our lives really lends itself to being in a polyamorous family setting.

I don't have any children and I am not sure that I can but I do love children. We both also have sexual needs that the other cannot always fulfill. we love each other dearly and we know that, when the time comes, we would be able to add more members to our family who feel the same way we do.

Polyamorous family settings just make more sense to us.... There is likely to be someone at home at all times. Increased income is also a big thing in todays life, although T and I feel that we need to move towards the simpler way of life and we have been.

Nothing would make me happier than to leave the painful job I have now and go live on his farm as a real old fashioned farmers wife....with a twist.

I am a very crafty person and T builds and makes African Drums for a living... We are moving away from all this consumerism that we face daily. We want a natural life...and when we meet the right people....that is what they will want too.
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  #252  
Old 04-06-2012, 07:03 PM
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BlackMagicBlonde BlackMagicBlonde is offline
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I'm just going by BMB for the time being. Am 31/F and have identified as sexually straight with some attraction(s) to females, depending on the person and circumstance(s). But all my relationships have been mono and with men, including the one i'm currently in.

Am a musician/banker/artist who likes both serious time to myself (or with one other intimate) as well as to hang out with a crew, cookout, turn the music up, and let the drinks and fun flow.

Currently in a monogamous relationship with one of my best friends (Z), but it did NOT start well. about 2 years ago, found myself at the frustrated tail-end of a 3-year mono relationship with one of OUR former best friends (and fellow musician - not a good thing) J, and was creeping around behind his back for emotional/mental connection elsewhere (trying relatively successfully to stay away from crossing lines sexually) when HUGE sexual sparks flew between myself and Z out of nowhere. long story shorter, i'd known i needed/wanted more out of life and relationships than J and i had been sharing, although i was still very much in love with him...felt like i was very thirsty for connection (not just sexually) and there was simply no more water in our well - J wanted a companion, but he didn't want to go any "deeper" with me. Anyway - Z and i hit it off, and it was fabulous from the beginning. our being together, and his being such a deep, honest, and strong individual, met needs and desires i had and more that i didn't realize i had...except...there was nothing in me that wanted to be in a monogamous, committed relationship - with him or anyone else. all i wanted to do was hang loose, get to know myself better, and drop the pressure. no expectations, no unspoken assumptions.

i also still had deep feelings for my ex, J, and we've been able to make amends to some degree since then, and to talk about all that happened and why. it put a big split between him and Z, as well as their circle of friends (which had been together 10+ years, long before i came on the scene 5 or so years ago). needless to say, it's a sticky situation, and i am not proud of the part i played in it, although i would not trade what happened and what has grown between Z and myself since then for anything. nor would i trade what i have learned about MYSELF and what i want, and the strength i've gained in the process.

Z and i have been on and off for about 2 years now, spiralling in and pulling away. we are mono together because he is my best friend and i want to keep that between us. i love him and respect him, he is an absolute treasure. i've read several books on polyamory in the past couple years, and only recently stumbled across the concept of "solo polyamory" in "Opening Up" by Tristan Taormino, and i realize that that is what i want, without doubt.

Z and i live separately, spend a lot of time together until i feel i'm going to go crazy by only having him as an intimate in my life. we've talked upon multiple occasions about polyamory as it might apply to each or either of us. he has read (at my request) "The Art and Etiquette of Polyamory" by Francoise Simpere (great book), and after serious reflection on it and himself, he's told me that he feels he is and wants to continue to be monogamous. i know that i am leaning in the direction of being a solo poly, and that i cannot stay in this relationship long because it puts me in a box that i am aching to break out of. my heart and my gut are headed elsewhere, to other ways of living and connecting.

i've ALWAYS had emotional connections to a variety of people, especially men (i'm working successfully on sharing more of myself with women, and realizing that there's been a deep-seated suspicion toward women in my past that prevented me from opening up to many potential friends and close companions), while being in relationship with one man. i've always been and felt a lot like "one of the boys" (my male friends have told me they've seen me this way as well), and i like it. i love who and what i am...until old programming sometimes takes hold of me and i feel a lot of residual guilt over not meeting the "norms."

so...long story long...that's probably the best description of me at this point, because thinking about all this occupies a lot of my time.

sorry that's such a long "summary"! thanks for reading. any thoughts are encouraged...
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  #253  
Old 04-07-2012, 12:42 AM
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BlackMagicBlonde BlackMagicBlonde is offline
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Default this is anything but brief.

hey! i tried to post my summary on here earlier today, but i think it didn't work...i'm new to the site and forum, so i probably did something wrong.

i'm just BMB for now. i live in the buckle of the bible belt, and i've found only a few people who live even CLOSE to the way i want to. most, if they knew, would think i'm insane, evil, damned, wrong, etc. so...anonymity lives

i'm 31/F, artist/musician/banker/bartender. i LOVE life. it's too short. i love spending all kinds of time with all kinds of people, and i've found plenty i love to spend time with over the past 6 years. love sunshine, being outdoors, playing bartender for a big crew of friends in the backyard (anybody's backyard!) on a summer afternoon with bbq smoke drifting through the air and live music coming from the porch (am proud to say i know some of this region's BEST musicians in any genre)....love reading, wine, music (making it or listening to it), songwriting, blogging, hanging out, LAUGHING, my job, coffee on the porch nice and slow in the morning, walking to the store for groceries, snuggling on the couch, falling asleep with someone i trust and care about, being playful, LAUGHING!!, making dinner with someone whose company i enjoy, slow saturday and sunday mornings, long motorcycle rides (i have a Honda Shadow cruiser and a lil Ninja 250, both of which i'm about to trade for either a bigger rocket or crusier), the beach, the mountains....okay, now it's getting long.

am currently in a hetero/mono relationship with my best male friend, Z. we became best friends AFTER we got together. story is:

about 3 years ago, i found myself in a very frustrated relationship with a man, J (one of mine and Z's mutual best friends and a fellow musician in the area), who was actually one of the deepest loves of my life. we just could not be everything the other needed, and that's the whole bit. i loved him and wanted to be close to him and spend nights with him and take care of him, but i also wanted to grow and explore the world, myself, other connections, other people, and he was perfectly happy with having a semi-"deep" relationship with me, whom he was in love with...just as long as he had a companion and confidant.

i wanted other, more, and deeper, and he didn't. instead of talking about other options, i found myself sharing HUGE sexual sparks with Z, with whom i'd been friends for as long as i'd been with J. i didn't know until shortly afterward that he and his decade-long almost-wife had been very unhappy with their relationship (both wanted out, had discussed it and agreed, and were simply unable to make the move to sever the ties and initiate the coming-apart) for the past two years.

i didn't want to totally leave J, but i thought i had to. i wanted other things, and i thought the two ways of life could not coexist. so i bailed. it was a very painful breakup and fallout, and since it involved three or four close friends who were the core of a group of about 8 or 10, and although some did not, more took sides. it also cost me a job with a band he and i were in.

although i barely knew of the concept (i had read one book by deborah anapol, "The New Love Without Limits"), i had the seeds of polyamory in my core during my relationship with J, and even before (though i had no reason to examine or recognize it that long ago). i've always had more and better male friends than i did females. some of that was need for validation when i was younger, but as i got older, self-examination showed me what was and was not related to that need. i've always identified more as "one of the guys", and been very content as such.

Z and i hit it off and grew to be close friends. he is a very deep, caring, straightforward, INTELLIGENT, talented, and handsome man. he doesn't fuzz things, he gives it to you/me very straight. very opinionated and outspoken while thoughtful, considerate and compassionate (but not pitying). and i can't reiterate enough how we CONNECTED sexually - mentally/emotionally/physically/spiritually where sex and desire and play were concerned - we were puzzle pieces that were meant to come together, whether it be short or long term. we were both starved as HELL for what the other gave, as well as starved to give what we had to give that somehow fit the other perfectly. it was a rough year, with very high highs and very low (sometimes suicidal) lows. i found out that Broken Heart Syndrome is an actual physical condition at that point.
over time, it evened out, and things got better, and Z and i ebbed and flowed as good friends and mono partners & lovers. we've had a really good year since then...

but....

it's still not what i want. i've buckled down and tried to want it; i've tried to tell him what i want (and dissolved into tears instead because it sounded so selfish, vague, and abnormal coming out of my mouth); we've broken up temporarily; we've spiralled away and come crashing back together.... he's my closest friend, he knows me very well; but i don't want to be his girlfriend - or anyone's.

i didn't know that the way i wanted to live was actually being lived by other people. i didn't know anyone who was living it up front - i knew plenty who were cheating, creeping, and lying (and yes, i've been guilty), but those things are mostly accepted although looked down upon (because they're the norm), but anything like being poly is looked at as wrong, sinful, deviant, whatever.

i want to keep the closeness and intimacy that is so good between me and Z. but i don't want to do the primary partner thing. he wants one thing, and i want another.

we've talked about polyamory as a concept and as a possibility for one or both of us. he read Francoise Simpere's "The Art & Etiquette of Polyamory" at my request. (i'm tellin you, he's a national treasure in very thin disguise.) i'd LOVE to keep him...just not all to myself - and i don't want him trying to keep me to himself either. but he has told me recently that he is, at this point, not willing to do or try the poly thing ("i'm pretty much a one-woman man...") with which i can't argue - to each his/her own - but...i want to live another way. last time we almost split, he was understanding, and it was the quietest and least emotionally loaded time we've ever discussed the difference between how each of us feels and what we each want (this was about a month ago), and we left it at "let's spend a week apart, with minimal contact and communication, and then come back together and discuss."

i missed him, but i was not at all lost without him. i missed my best friend and his near-constant presence, but not my other half, and not my one-and-only. i was happy in that week, and i felt more FREE and content than i had in several years. (and part of me felt guilty for it. guilt is another of my trip-ups.) we crashed back together after the week was up - it was not pretty, and several days later i got myself out of my helpless mental loop and decided to just be who the fuck i was, and he was going to have to start listening to what i was DOING instead of what i found it so hard communicate verbally. and we spend two or three really good weeks together!! and then i slowly started pulling away, until i haven't seen him at all for the past 2 or 3 days, simply because it's so hard to tell him AGAIN the vagueness of what i want (he wants something concrete to wrap his mind around, like "there's someone else" or "i'm still in love with my ex" or "i'm gay" or "you're ugly", and none of that applies). i've been avoiding him altogether.

i feel like i need to tell him that we need a MONTH off, period; it's not up for discussion.

i want to live as a solo poly, with all options open. i want to be open to the possibility of anything happening, either the familiar or the unknown, and it be OKAY (and FEEL okay!) for me to follow, or not, whatever is on the wind that catches my desire.
this includes sharing time & experiences with him - but not if doing so means ruling out altogether the possibility of sharing similar time & experiences with other people who might move me in similar ways.

this is a really long intro/story, guys. if you managed to care enough to stick with it, thanks again for reading.

namaste!!!

BMG
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  #254  
Old 04-11-2012, 06:33 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Default Kevin T's Personal Summary

About me:

My name is Kevin T.
My handle is kdt26417.
I registered on Polyamory.com on April 11, 2012.
I am a cisgender heterosexual man in his late 40's.
I am married to LL, and handfasted to BH and SB.
I live in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

About my handle:

My initials are KDT.
Suppose KDT is a base-36 number.
Then, 26417 is the base-10 version of that number.
So, my handle is kdt26417.

About my partners and me:

LL is my wife.
BH (brother-husband) is the first leg in an MFM vee.
I am the second leg in that vee.
SB (snowbunny) is the hinge of the vee.
We are polyfidelitous.
We all consider ourselves to be primaries to one another.
We have extended biological families living in many places: Michigan, Utah, Washington State, etc.
We haven't come out to anyone except one friend, one brother, and his wife.

Our birthdates:

I was born in 1965. (Scorpio/snake)
LL was born in 1942. (Capricorn/horse)
BH and SB were both born in 1970. (Taurus/dog)

Our history:

LL and I were married in 1987.
BH and SB were married in 1995.
We all met and became friends soon after.
BH and SB adopted LL and me as family in 2005.
They thus became caregivers for LL, who by then had advanced Alzheimer's.
We all moved from Michigan to New Mexico early in 2006.
BH, SB, and I became a poly unit at about that time.
LL was admitted to a nursing home later that year.
BH, SB, and I handfasted in August of 2009.
We (all 3) live in an apartment together.
I visit LL twice a week.

Our kids:

LL has 5 from a prior marriage.
BH, SB, and I have none.
BH and I are both "snipped," so we remain childless.

We have 1 dog (Sophie, a shnoodle) and 1 cat (Rainee, a Russian blue).

Our tats:

BH has an Adam Ant tribute on his shoulder.
SB has a small dove/rose on her ankle.
LL and I have none.

Our hair color: brown (with a little red).
Our orientation: heterosexual (all of us); arguably heteroflexible.
Our kink: none. Plain vanilla.
Our musical tastes: quite a range.

Sports:

LL is (was) a football fan.
I am an armchair mountaineer.
BH is a hockey fan/player.
SB is a hiker/camper.

Politics:

LL is (was) conservative/Republican.
I am liberal/Voluntaryist (was Republican).
BH and SB are liberal/Democrat (but not hardcore).

Religion:

LL is a Mormon.
I am atheist, but was raised Mormon.
BH is mixed religious; was raised Catholic.
SB is a private believer; her father was an assertive atheist.

My Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is INFP (I am Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving).
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  #255  
Old 04-13-2012, 05:23 AM
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NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kdt26417 View Post
About me:

My name is Kevin T.
My handle is kdt26417.
Sorry, I just have to say y'all are just adorable! That is such a sweet intro.
Much admiration, for your life, your path, your willingness to share.
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Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who lives in the apartment building next door)
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  #256  
Old 04-13-2012, 05:27 AM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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No prob.
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  #257  
Old 04-14-2012, 02:50 PM
GreenMom GreenMom is offline
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Succinct summary: Married. Have a boyfriend who is also married. Have children. Work full time. Relatively new to poly. Gonna start a blog in the appropriate section and I welcome feedback as I try to learn and grow.
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I am my own primary.
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  #258  
Old 04-15-2012, 04:13 AM
canmon canmon is offline
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I am Canmon and I am living in Chennai, India.

I am currently single, and I am looking to have an open marriage with an indian girl, preferably from Chennai.

I am straight, and I love the concept of non monogamy as it is very natural. I don't believe in restricting myself or my partner in any way. I believe in having a partner who is equally flexible when it comes to marriage.
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  #259  
Old 04-27-2012, 07:13 AM
abduktedtemplar abduktedtemplar is offline
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Hi my name is Corey. Only recently realized that I was bisexual. Talks with gf about it have never really happened because she clams up whenever I start talking about it. My ideal relationship would be a committed mfm or mfmf. I love my gf but I feel I can't truely be myself with her without her judging me then trying to work through it only to just resent me later. I'm 26 and I take care of my great grandmother and grandmother full time but I'm trying to go back to school. I had planned on being an educator but I fear my desire for an alternate family unit will destroy my chances. I love, art, music, movies, gaming, science, technology, and psychology. Question authority and stand up for the helpless. I'm currently in El Paso, TX.

Last edited by abduktedtemplar; 04-27-2012 at 10:08 AM.
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  #260  
Old 04-28-2012, 09:57 PM
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Adel Adel is offline
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Hi everyone,

I'm very new to this forum and poly relationships. I've spent 15 years being envious of my friend's strong poly relationship. I ventured out a couple of years ago and dated a male/female couple however, they weren't as honest as they should have been.

My current situation is I am single as well as a single mother with a 9 year old boy (who is overprotected lol). I do not intend on having more children but am very open to meeting someone who already has children (or not). I'm a full-time freelance artist as well as a part time sex worker. I'm a 36 year old, tall, very large/fat and good looking bi-racial woman with interests that range from nail polish to quantum physics. I'm a confident woman with a genuine disposition. A Pisces who is a truth seeker, comedian, pervert, politically incorrect, pothead, and evolutionary with a killer conscious. I have lover boys and it's just that. Nothing deep or committed.

What I am searching for is a solid committed relationship with multiple men (3 if I could have my way) who can appreciate me for who I am, which is a lover. I'm attracted to all types of men, all ages. Most those who are genuine, young at heart, love music and are intellectuals. I want something real, deep and reliable. I am open to meeting men who are bi or straight and those who are understanding that I am weary of women due to bad experiences. I am bi, I'm not bi. Not really sure. I just haven't met a woman who has stirred inside of me what men do. Ultimately, I'd like to find a compatible male who is single and interested in building with me in finding other males to join our relationship. I'd prefer local but am open to long distance. .... but hey, I'm pretty open.

So with that said, please say hello! I'm in Portland, Oregon.

Last edited by Adel; 04-28-2012 at 10:09 PM.
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