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Old 05-03-2011, 10:18 PM
AmourCurious AmourCurious is offline
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: El Paso, Texas
Posts: 14
Default New to the forum and Poly-lifestyle

Hello to All,

I am a single 21yr old bi-sexual woman living in El Paso, TX, USA. I will soon be a university graduate!

I am currently dating, but haven’t had much luck meeting healthy good partners. I’ve recently decided that I would like to explore a poly lifestyle and I am in search of like minded individuals. Until now I’ve made poor choices in relationships and self-care but I am proud that I have made a change.

It has been 6mths of my self exploration journey and I am thrilled with the new people that have walked into my life, the new projects and new knowledge that I have acquired in such short time.
"To laugh often and love much...this is to have succeded."-Emerson

Last edited by AmourCurious; 05-03-2011 at 10:20 PM.
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Old 05-10-2011, 03:06 AM
Alan1969yes Alan1969yes is offline
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 6
Smile Hi from me

Hi! I live in Brisbane, Australia. I am very new to the idea of polyamorous relationships. In fact, I really only started reading about it in the last 2 days, and it has been a revelation.

I was married for many years and have a couple of kids. Wife & I separated a couple of years ago. My first love (as a teenager) was “Vixen” and I have never got over her, although we did not contact each other for 25 years in the interim. I was always faithful in my marriage, and kept the “Vixen” part of my heart under lock and key . . . convincing myself that she was just a sweet childhood memory.

In early 2010 I tracked Vixen down and made contact with her again. I couldn’t bear living my life without at least knowing that Vixen was OK. It turns out that Vixen is (mostly) happily married to Michelangelo, and they have a son together.

As it happens . . . Vixen and I have started to share these intense feelings for each other . . . even after all these years. For the last couple of months, we have been emailing and / or calling each other almost every day, and have met a couple of times. We haven’t “done” anything to cheat on our partners but the thoughts are there, and so is the emotional connection. But is it a fantasy? Time will tell.

So Vixen & I are trying to explore these intense and confronting (and not wholly welcome) feelings we have for each other, and getting to know each other again as adults, and doing our best to do so ethically, in view of her love for Michelangelo, who I have not met yet. We haven’t acted on our feelings. Neither of us wants to hurt Michelangelo. The way I see it, if Vixen loves her husband (Michelangelo), then I do too (not sexually . . . I am straight). Neither of us wants to do anything to hurt Michelangelo. At this point, Michelangelo would definitely NOT be able to deal with Vixen’s & my feelings for each other.

I also have a girlfriend, Red, who I have been going out with for a couple of months – about the same time as I made contact with Vixen. I have started having feelings for Red as well as my feelings for Vixen. I don’t want to hurt Red either. Vixen knows everything that’s going on: Red and Michelangelo are still largely in the dark. Red might be a bit more flexible in the poly department than Michelangelo, but I don’t know that for sure.

I have never had a poly relationship but now that I’ve been reading about it, I think this may be worth exploring. Reading some of the posts here has been very comforting, and has given me hope that Vixen, Michelangelo, Red, and I might be able to work something out where we can all be happy together. Maybe not living together, but something!

My learning’s from this site so far: Vixen loves both me and Michelangelo. Once Vixen & I come to terms with exactly how we feel about each other, then we are going to have to explain this to Red and Michelangelo respectively. This will take time and patience and is fraught with risk.

So the options for Vixen & I seem to be:

(a) Walk away from each other and pursue “normal” lives with our Other Significant Others (“OSO” I believe is the terminology!) . . . neither of us feel we can do this and still be true to ourselves. We tried this and were miserable.

(b) Leave our OSO’s and try and have a normal “mono” life together (all these new terms!) . . . neither of us really want to do this – we each have feelings for our OSO’s and there would be other consequences (family law issues, loss of friends and family etc)

(c) Have a secret relationship behind the backs of our OSO’s . . . we don’t want to do this to each other, or to the OSO’s.

(d) Try and be “just friends” . . . this is heartbreaking, but in view of the wisdom from the other posts here, it seems the only rational and ethical thing to do is to keep our feelings in check until / if (e) happens. And perhaps to wait a while and see if those feelings continue.

(e) Eventually . . . come clean with Red & Michelangelo, about our feelings for each other, and try and negotiate something with them in the manner suggested by numerous posts on this site. I can’t believe people have been able to do it, but boy am I relieved they have, as it offers some hope to our breaking hearts. Of course, this would not be the end but the beginning of a whole new paradigm with its own difficulties. But we didn’t choose this . . . it just “is”.

Suggestions / comments / other options would be appreciated.
All knowledge is an illusion
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Old 05-16-2011, 12:59 AM
AerysPeacock AerysPeacock is offline
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 1
Default Found Myself

I'm a 28 year old mother to a little prince. His father is not at all in the picture.

I would define myself as heteroflexible. I also have recently found myself as a poly adult as well. I didn't go seeking it, but pretty much fell into a relationship with my friends K & P. My son adores them, and they love him. We took him out recently as a family... and it was amazing.

We don't live in the same household yet though.
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Old 05-16-2011, 02:36 AM
marz's Avatar
marz marz is offline
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 15
Talking Feeling liberated!

Hi all! I'm from Orlando, Florida. You may call me Marz on this forum.
I'm 20 years old and in college studying photography. I live with my boyfriend, J, and we've been going steady for three years. Today I expressed my feelings about Polyamory with him for the first time. He was surprisingly open minded and receptive about the whole thing. We set down boundaries to start with. Everything must be consensual, no unprotected sex, etc, etc. I'm so excited about this. I've always been emotionally and physically attracted to other people but kept my thoughts to myself in fear of hurting J's feelings. After letting him know how I truly feel, I feel liberated. I am no longer living a lie.
I will wade out
till my thighs are steeped in burning flowers
I will take the sun in my mouth
and leap into the ripe air
with closed eyes
to dash against darkness
in the sleeping curves of my body
Shall enter fingers of smooth mastery
with chasteness of sea-girls
Will I complete the mystery
of my flesh
I will rise
After a thousand years
And set my teeth in the silver of the moon
~e.e cummings
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Old 05-18-2011, 04:23 PM
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Devlin Devlin is offline
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Northern Indiana
Posts: 7
Default A little about how it is

Hi. Devlin is the name I had chosen back when I was going to be famous. I didn't end up famous, but the name stuck for online use.

From as far back as I can remember, I've always been polyamorous - I just didn't have a name for it until I became an adult and did some research. It took me a very long time to become comfortable not only with being poly, but also with being bisexual. My pendulum swung from women to men and back again. After one disastrous hetero marriage, I became involved with my now "unlegal" wife. (We live in a very anti-gay Red state.) We've been together for 13 years.

We have had many "playmates" and attempted a triad with a woman that was wrong from the start, and short-lived. Years later, through unbelievable circumstances, we had a chance at another one - this time with a man. It was a total life-changing experience for us - for me because I had "sworn off men" before my wife and I got together (I never thought I'd have feelings for another man again) - and for my wife because until he came into our hearts, she was 100% lesbian. It has been almost five years since we fell in love with him. And we still love him. But we cannot have a physical relationship with him for many difficult and complicated reasons. It is very hard for us to deal with that, but we're doing the best we can.

I would like to be able to make some poly friends here - talk about the aspects and share stories. It is very suffocating where we live - very right wing, religious, judgmental. We only know of one other poly couple who live around here. It would be nice to meet others - to feel less alone in the world.
Born This Way
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Old 05-24-2011, 09:16 PM
Isobel Isobel is offline
New Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1
Default About Me

I'm 19, I won't give you my name mostly because I don't like it. You can call my Lady Isobel, or Izzy if I like you enough. I'm young, but I have worldly experience. I'm bisexual, preferring women for the emotional bit and men for the physical. Not saying I don't like both parts with the same person, and I've actually never been with more than one at a time. All though I'm looking for a girl, I'm really picky (read "shallow"), and I recently dealt with a heartbreak from my first love. It was her fault, and I don't talk to or about her anymore.

I have a two year old son, he's the light of my life. I'm still with his father, who was my first as I was his. It's kind of like a fairy tale, because that stuff never happens. We've been together for 3 1/2 years. I would love to have a girl to throw into the mix (as previously mentioned), but if the right girl never comes along I could die happy just the way things are. He's a great guy, 5 months younger than me. We both graduated high school and will be heading to college in a year's time. He works graveyards at the local Walmart, I quit my job two weeks ago. It's killing me being at home all the time, but at least I get to spend all my time with my baby boy.

I write A LOT. I plan to attend college and gain a Masters in English Literature to go on to be a novelist. If you want a peak at my stuff, just let my know. I love showing off my work and getting it critiqued. It is the only aspect in which I take criticism well.

I'm a tad high-strung (HA! Just a tad?). I like things to go my way, and I'm super selfish in everything but my husband and son. I am an arrogant SOB, and I will never deny it. Actually, arrogance is my favorite character trait. You'd know that with one look at my dear Isobel.
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Old 05-27-2011, 11:31 PM
Proxy Proxy is offline
New Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1

My name is Proxy, I'm 22 years old and have gone through for me a weird path. I feel that I have been polyamorous since I was eighteen, when I started my first triad relationship with my girlfriend, her boyfriend and myself. I am pansexual, I have found over the years it doesn't matter what a person is but who a person is, is what makes you attracted to them. I don't have much experience in poly quite yet, all the relationships so far that I have found have failed. Usually from someone stabbing me/us in the back, or lack of open and honest communication.

I am currently getting a divorce from my ex husband. After leaving him I found there was no reason for me to try and hide who I really was, and this is me, and I'm coming out of my shell. Over the years I've become a very open, honest and blunt individual from what I once was. As for any career, or school life right now is a halt, I currently have a part time job, and saving money to pay off school fines.

I consider my self a diamond lost in a coal mine. I'm pretty easy going, laid back and very well like I said open. I look around and find women having these problems with their boyfriends, and I usually side with men. I have grown to have more male friends than females, its just the way my life has always worked out. Okay, thats enough about me before I start going on and on, trust me I will.
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Old 06-02-2011, 12:23 AM
Cayenne Cayenne is offline
New Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Berkeley, CA
Posts: 4

Hi there! I just got linked to this forum by a friend on IRC.

I'm Cayenne, a male-to-female transgender person that is (as of april 21) actually female! I'm 39, and hoping to eventually find the person or people that make my life complete.

I'm a bit of a geek, and probably too smart for my own good. I don't drink, don't smoke, and don't do drugs. I love to cook, talk philosophy, and play tabletop roleplaying games. I'm tired of being by myself.

I have an ex-wife, and a child I'll probably never see again. I'm ex-Mormon, and an atheist. I have an ex-family that is still Mormon. I try not to think about this much.

The future is brighter than the past, and is hopefully full of friends and fun.
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Old 06-05-2011, 09:11 PM
jimthedj65 jimthedj65 is offline
New Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1
Talking Intro And New

Hi all I am James heterosexual, open minded guy of 46 who has met his first love after 19 years of separation. She is starting to come out of her shell and is opening up to her being bi-sexual. I am completely open to the situation but not in the whats in it for me kind of way, I searched for ways to agree with her how we can handle the situation best.

She wants me to be a part of it and only when I am there, this complicated things as I needed an engagement baseline to work from, so I started to look into various relationships and build an understanding and after much deliberation decided to venture into Polyamorous agreements and try to understand how this could help us. I drafted my first agreement attempt and I must say I think it is perfect for us to create an agreement that helps us both understand the guidelines without her being fearful of losing me to another woman........

Thats my little intro and look forward to discussing with intelligent and objective people on here..
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Old 06-13-2011, 06:24 AM
Cataluna Cataluna is offline
New Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1

Glad to find this forum! It's nice to be able to find like-minded people.

I'm a 24 year-old, pansexual female who's been in a relationship with my best friend, also a 24 year-old, pansexual female for several years now. We've had ups and downs as we've figured out what type of relationship we want, but have been looking for a male who'd be interested in a polyamory relationship with us (and possible BDSM associations in said relationships, but I won't go into that right now).

Let's see... What to say about me specifically? I'm a very creative person, with hobbies in the fiber arts (knitting, crocheting, etc) as well as an interest in writing. I love to read and like to consider myself an intelligent, sarcastically witty lady.

We'll soon be moving to Kentucky where I'll be pursuing my Master's in Biology. Eventually I hope to pursue a career in teaching Biology on the college level because I love to share my passion of ecology with others. Of course, that means I tend to geek out about Biology in my day to day life, especially about birds, lol. I love being around others who have their own passions to share, having someone share with me/teach me about something they love appeals deeply to me.

I look forward to having new people to have stimulating conversations with.
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