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  #1  
Old 11-29-2013, 04:09 AM
hersweetleaf hersweetleaf is offline
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since the holidays are coming up, and gift giving season has arrived, is it appropriate to give gifts in a new, not really poly relationship?

meaning, we as in my husband and I, are somewhat involved with a lady. we are in the very new, met up 3 times so far, haven't done anything besides pecks on the mouth to say good bye.

I would like to show her we are serious and she means something to us, but don't want to come off too weird, or push her away.

any suggestions? bad idea? good idea?
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Old 11-29-2013, 12:00 PM
Orangesmartie Orangesmartie is offline
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Originally Posted by hersweetleaf View Post
since the holidays are coming up, and gift giving season has arrived, is it appropriate to give gifts in a new, not really poly relationship?

meaning, we as in my husband and I, are somewhat involved with a lady. we are in the very new, met up 3 times so far, haven't done anything besides pecks on the mouth to say good bye.

I would like to show her we are serious and she means something to us, but don't want to come off too weird, or push her away.

any suggestions? bad idea? good idea?
How about something you would give a close friend? Or something you know she would really like? If she collects particular things?

Or do you share an interest in a show or comedian? Last year, which was my first christmas with my partners (poly-fi triad) i bought us tickets to see the Rocky Horror show. They bought me a cook book i really wanted. For their birthdays (just gone), i bought little bits and pieces that they wouldn't buy themselves, but that they liked. Not hugely expensive.

Something that says you listen to her and her likes and dislikes and tastes mean a whole lot more than random christmas crap.
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Old 11-29-2013, 05:59 PM
hersweetleaf hersweetleaf is offline
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thank you, Orangesmartie.

so far, we know she likes, walking dead and dexter. I kind of want to send her flowers at her work, but im not sure if that would be appropriate since she does have the boyfriend.

theres a lot of local shows happening soon, so maybe we could take her to see someone she might like.

thank you again for the reply, I wasn't sure if anyone was really noticing me out there.
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Old 11-29-2013, 06:07 PM
Orangesmartie Orangesmartie is offline
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Originally Posted by hersweetleaf View Post
thank you, Orangesmartie.

so far, we know she likes, walking dead and dexter. I kind of want to send her flowers at her work, but im not sure if that would be appropriate since she does have the boyfriend.

theres a lot of local shows happening soon, so maybe we could take her to see someone she might like.

thank you again for the reply, I wasn't sure if anyone was really noticing me out there.
Flowers are lovely and can always be explained as being sent by a friend - its what I and my female partner do.

Experience type gifts i think are nice, because then we create memories together as a three. One thing I struggle with, as the 'third' is they have so much shared history and experience that i can't be part of, so we love doing things together to give us shared memories as the three of us.

Does she like to write? Maybe a nice notebook and expensive pen? I love stuff like that, so its always appreciated. I got a 'Winnie-the'Pooh' stationery for my birthday, which i adore, and it encourages me to write more letter (to family, and to my partners).

Or perhaps a book or film or tv show from her childhood that she loved.

Lots of options
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Old 11-29-2013, 07:22 PM
hersweetleaf hersweetleaf is offline
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im leaning towards flowers. it seems like a bold gesture, but conveys that we care a lot about her.

that is until sunday when she comes over to watch walking dead. im excited to see her!
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