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Old 09-20-2016, 01:09 AM
BarefootJuggler BarefootJuggler is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 3
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Hi all,

I been together with my partner for 15 years and married for 8 of those with two lovely children. Our relationship is very good, but not perfect. Over 15 years our personalities have evolved and we've grown from where we were in those early years. Over the course of several years my wife has been getting more and more unsatisfied with the sexual aspect of our relationship and has discovered that she has a Submissive element to her personality that she no longer wishes to deny. Unfortunately I am not a Dominant partner, not sexually, I like everything to be mutual, and want a different mental attitude from my wife when making love or having sex. I am unable, and do not have the mental attitude that she craves with her Submission.

Our relationship is built on strong communication and we have discussed our issues over and over again, flaring up sometimes and going away at others. But this time she has acted on them, to see if it will stabilise our relationship and bring that additional thing that she is missing into her life. Over the last few months my wife has started an online relationship with a Dominant. She now has a Master. Over the recent months she has had very intimate encounters with him (online) and they feel that they are falling in love with each other.

Don't get me wrong, our sexual relationship is still alive, she still loves me and does not want to lose me and vica-versa. But sex between us is "vanilla" for her and, from her point of view, seems mainly to please me, which I am not that happy about. I obviously want to satisfy my wife and am keen to pleasure her, but her desire is for something more sadistic then I am willing to be.

We're both quite open-minded and never regarded monogamy particularly ideal, and for now, where she has two men in her life, she seems much more content. It is still early days so we will see how it evolves.

I joined this forum in order to discuss polyamory, what it is to people, and to meet open-minded people who I may be able to share this adventure with. Obviously my wife is practising polyamory, I my-self however am not actively living a polyamory life, but am available to the opportunity.
Another thing I am keen to read and discuss about is polyamory and parenting.

I'm sorry if this is a long thread, but I've never joined a forum before, and struggle to explain my situation. Everytime I think about it, it comes out in a different way!

Last edited by BarefootJuggler; 09-20-2016 at 07:24 AM. Reason: error
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Old 09-20-2016, 07:18 PM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
Official Greeter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 12,347

Greetings BarefootJuggler,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

We have several threads about poly and kids that you may find helpful.
There may be others too, but, especially check out the first two threads from the list above, they are extensive.

We also have a Dating & Friendships board that may be useful for finding people who are local to you. Of course you can also interact with poly folks from far and wide on just about any board/thread. Just look around and see what calls to you.

Kevin T., "official greeter"


There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
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