Just LR

[LovingRadiance]

I gotta run and take a shower (water is already running).
But, I'll be back in about 30 minutes or so.

[Breathesgirl]

This just totally sucks!

You'll come out the other side stronger and wiser for the experience.

HUGS!!!!!!!

Feel better soon.

Give the munchkins some hugs too, it'll make you all feel a wee bit better just knowing that the other is there.

[BrigidsDaughter]

*HUGS* I am sorry that you are going through this, LR.

[LovingRadiance]

Taking the kids for a walk today-with Maca. They need some time with their dad, I need to get out of the house and I need the exercise. Hoping that the fact that we aren't sitting and staring will make it somewhat less awkward and uncomfortable.

I miss him. It's hard.

Today should be our date night-but no date tonight.

[SNeacail]

Hugs!

[Morningglory629]

Originally Posted by LovingRadiance

Taking the kids for a walk today-with Maca. They need some time with their dad, I need to get out of the house and I need the exercise. Hoping that the fact that we aren't sitting and staring will make it somewhat less awkward and uncomfortable.

I miss him. It's hard.

Today should be our date night-but no date tonight.

Me neither! Maybe instead of lunch we do tele-pseudo date night!

I guess you'll have to ask him that. In my opinion the answer is becuase it's easier to hate GG than it is to admit that he's responsible for his own life and if it sucks, it's his own fault. If his relationships are failing, one after another, it's his own fault. It's easier to blame the scapegoat (GG) then face that he's choosing to destroy his life.

Wow. You are right. Maca is really off the rails. What the Hell is he thinking?! As usual it seems his timing sucks- not that there is ever a GOOD time to distance yourself from your nuclear family.

[sage]

Hi LR

I've been following your journey lately although I may have missed some strategic bits.

Can I give you a bit of feedback as an observer?

I'm wondering if Maca 'hating' GG is how his discomfort with your relationship is
manifesting? In other words your relationship isn't failing because he hates GG but Maca hates GG because your relationship with him failing.

Polyamory is an easy scapegoat for fundamental relationship problems. I'm trying to say this gently because I have great respect for you and I know you're in a lot of pain which I don't want to add to. But if you read back over your posting, some of it may also be on your other blog, it is very centred about what you want and your plans. This may just be the way you have expressed it but i wonder how much input into all your plans Maca has had?
Sometimes we can push too far in the opposite direction in reaction to what has been before.

When Maca responded to your issues with going to Orlando he actually sounded very lucid and grounded to me.

You obviously really miss Maca. When a relationship has reached it's conclusion you don't miss them, you're relieved to have them gone (my experience anyway) If I was you I would ask him how he is, and what he wants for his life. I would try and love him for Maca the person and not Maca the partner.

[Morningglory629]

The problem is LR wasn't feeling that the relationship was at an end, rather at a juncture (this is my perspective, I may be off base).

The question is LR...is Maca feeling it is over or is this an ultimatum kind of situation?

[Magdlyn]

LR sorry things are falling apart. May I ask a couple questions, because I am confused?

So you and Maca have been together 10 years or so? I read you mention you 2 get it on sexually 28 days a month. So, he's a stud, that's awesome. You must miss his touch tho.

And at some point, you met and got with GG, on the side, not in agreed upon polyamory. And GG and you are in a power exchange relationship, you Mistress, him slave.

Are you and Maca also in a BDSM relationship? Is he your Dom? If he is, would that make your cheating, and getting his understanding and forgiveness, that much worse?

How does Maca feel about you having a D/s relationship w GG? Is that part of your issues, or am I way off base? If Maca is vanilla, otoh, that could also be a problem?

[maca]

This is LR's thread and Im not even sure its polite of me to write in it, but Ill answer a few questions and maybe help Mr get a better idea of the Father I am.

I very much have always felt that being with LR meant no compromise on the whole GG and her cheating for ten years and it being ok now because its in the open. I felt I had no choice, I would lose my kids and wife if I didnt go along. I tried for 18 fucking months.

Yes I was LR's Dom, No I wasnt happy about her wanting to be GG's mistress. The whole mistress/slave thing came up in order for LR to salvage the relationship with GG ( when they broke up, when she was in Spokane). He never wanted it, only did it to keep her. I cant say that I dont understand going WAY out on a limb to stay close to someone that you love. I tried to do it also.

LR and I talked today about our relationship and she maintains that in order for me to be with her I have to let go of my issues with her being in a romantic relationship with GG. I told her I have tried and that the scar is so deep. She went on to talk about "wanting to forgive" "wanting to make things work". I got real with her, I told her that the thing is " I dont feel a drive to forgive him" " I dont like or want to be reminded of the affair or there romantic relationship". With LR I wanted to forgive, I did forgive. With GG, its just not there. He is a good guy, him and I get along just fine when its not involving LR. We work well as a team. There is just to much that is wrong with me, I cant break through the hurt and anger.

As for the weekend Daddy thing. You have no idea the tears I shed at night. The lump that forms in my throat every time I have to say good bye to them. The hour long drive back to my lonely one room apt feels like walking through a fire pit that is covered in broken glass. Mr, I know that your smitten with LR, she is easy to get smitten with. You should step back a bit and think about how much you know about me, from me, before you form your opinions of me and then make them public. There is really nothing more for me to say.


Maca