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  #511  
Old 10-07-2013, 08:31 PM
Nox Nox is offline
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If it wasn't for the gutter, I'd never find my brain.
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Me: 39 straight male in a V with
Wife: Kay - mono female - married 17 years
LDR girlfriend: Susan - poly female - 3 year relationship
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  #512  
Old 10-13-2013, 06:33 PM
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No flights out of Kodiak last night.
But it's looking positive for today. Fingers crossed Maca will be home this afternoon.
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  #513  
Old 10-17-2013, 03:32 AM
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Default *sexual post-possible tmi*

OMG!
There are some things that just can't be replaced!
Hard, rough, sex is one of them.
It would be impossible to describe how intensely satifsying it is after weeks apart!
It's so frustrating when he's gone.

GG loves me and adores me and when we're together he will do anything for me. But, he's not rough and tumble. He's not forceful. He's not Dominant by any stretch of the imagination. While I adore his sweetness and his submission and his adoration etc; it can't fill my need for Maca. He just can't be that.

I don't have any words for how much I needed him to come home.
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  #514  
Old 11-14-2013, 09:35 PM
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Default birth control/sex drive/trivia

It's been 8 weeks now that I've been on birth control pills. They were prescribed in an effort to control my period because I was having issues bleeding through all sanitary products and my clothes every 2 hours. ASININE.

Anyway-thus far-it isn't working for that purpose so as of last night they doubled the dose.

HOWEVER-one of the side effects is that I don't have a sex drive. I don't MIND having sex and I can still orgasm. But, I have no drive for sex. So, where before I was very much the instigator, now, I don't have any motivation or interest or even memory that I might ought to instigate it.

Why I think this is interesting trivia is because;
While Maca is very motivated to instigate, GG is not.
Therefore, Maca hasn't seen our sex life reduced. Because he instigates and off we go.
But GG has only instigated sex one time in the whole 8 weeks.

Combined with the trivia that Maca is working out of town and has only been HOME 2 of those weeks-meaning that GG and I have every night to ourselves and could have sex any day of the week:

It brought me to a consideration regarding some posters complaints/frustrations regarding their partner having/wanting sex with someone else more often.

There are a VARIETY of reasons for that-some of which are quite insidious to a relationship. But there are some; like mine, that are simply a combination of a hormonally driven behavior (or lack of behavior) and a personality driven behavior (or lack of behavior).

Hormone=I'm not craving sex or motivated to reach out for sex.
Personality= Maca IS motivated to reach out for it. GG is NOT motivated to reach out for it.
Outcome= Maca continues to get sex regularly. GG does not.


Food for thought for anyone whose struggling with a partner who suddenly isn't showing an interest in sex, but is continuing to have sex with another partner.
It's not that I would turn GG down. I would not turn EITHER of my loves down if they want sex.
But I don't want it or need it or crave it etc at the moment. So if they wants it-they needs to be motivated enough to get it.
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  #515  
Old 11-14-2013, 10:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
HOWEVER-one of the side effects is that I don't have a sex drive. I don't MIND having sex and I can still orgasm. But, I have no drive for sex. So, where before I was very much the instigator, now, I don't have any motivation or interest or even memory that I might ought to instigate it.
I've felt this way since my surgery. It was decreasing due to my state of health before, but got seriously worse afterwards add on what appeared to be a year long chronic yeast infection... So, very little sex drive and pain/discomfort. It didn't even occur to me that it could be another yeast infection, since I'd already been treated at least once - likely it just never went away completely and I had been on antibiotics 3-4 times over that year . After awhile of very little sex drive, it becomes habit.

Double dose bc hormones In my case, it was the bc hormones that started causing some of the problems. Have they done ultra sounds? I feel for you, doctors didn't treat my complaints as anything serious until I passed out and the blood loss was visibly obvious. Of course by then things were so bad that I really shouldn't have been able to walk - ER persons, kinda freaked. I know your on top of it, but make sure your family is watching out for you also.
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  #516  
Old 11-15-2013, 12:32 AM
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I remember when all of that happened with you.
Believe me-I am paying attention.
Maca and I were up discussing it long into the night on the phone last night.

The ramifications of the bc/heavy periods etc are being watched and all of that. Far too aware of the risks to not be paying attention on my own. Doctors aren't experts. They are expert guessers. Too often people don't realize that. They are playing a guessing game. Which means-they can guess wrong at least as easily as I can.

Anyway-yes, we are watching all of that.
But-I couldn't help but note the little details and how they correlate to so many of the "she sleeps with him but isn't interested in having sex with me anymore" posts we get on here.

I have to wonder how often it's simply a matter of "go turn her on".
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  #517  
Old 11-15-2013, 05:34 PM
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Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
I have to wonder how often it's simply a matter of "go turn her on".
I agree that may be at least part of it, long time partners tend to fall into a pattern of habits instead of paying attention to what is actually turning the other on.
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  #518  
Old 11-15-2013, 06:41 PM
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Nod. Mind you-I also am aware, that it's not always that. Sometimes it's really a huge relationship issue.
But seriously-if one person doesn't feel the "need" and of their two partners, only one is making the effort-the one making the effort will gain the benefit. Not out of favoritism. But because the squeaky wheel gets the grease.
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  #519  
Old 12-10-2013, 06:31 PM
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Default He's COMING HOME! Finally

Maca flies home Wednesday.
No work in site here for an undetermined amount of time.
But it's been 8 months and we're all done with the being apart thing. He flies in Wednesday afternoon and I'm looking forward to it!
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  #520  
Old 12-24-2013, 10:55 PM
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All the gifts are wrapped (except the one ordered for GG that hasn't arrived) and under the tree.
Today Maca and I were out in the snow taking sexy, naughty pics. It was cold as FUCK. But it was fun anyway.
Tonight we will put together the new bed for Sour Pea. It's a loft like bed with shelving and cabinets underneath. That will open up more floor space for her room.

We're all doing well. The family is doing ok. There's been a glitch with GG and I for months. It's not a matter of fighting. We aren't fighting (we really don't fight). But there is a distance. His world revolves around his job (even though he would swear otherwise). He left before 7am yesterday and didn't make it home til after 7pm. But it was an "8 hour shift". That's TYPICAL. It's also typical that the weekends-he gets called out. I have given up on having dates with him, personal time, anything really-because he's not available with any amount of predictability.
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