Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > General Poly Discussions

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #61  
Old 02-10-2014, 06:50 PM
seakinganswers seakinganswers is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 68
Default

Not sure how much advice I could give, but as a general observation I found much of that list to be very similar to my brothers problems and he isn't that old and is not Poly. The longer you wait to make a long term commitment to one person, whether it be a poly commitment or standard one, the more lonely you get for many if the same reasons you mentioned. Good luck to you
Reply With Quote
  #62  
Old 02-15-2014, 09:25 PM
ployshyguy ployshyguy is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 11
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MeeraReed View Post
However, until I got to the end of your post I assumed you were in your 50s/60s...are you telling me you're only in your 30s???? All this talk about aging and ending up alone...really???
I agree. I think it's too soon to feel left out of the love pool. Most poly people I know are older than me, and I'm 43.
Reply With Quote
  #63  
Old 02-16-2014, 09:21 PM
Peoplelover Peoplelover is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: in transition to west coast
Posts: 13
Default Shipwrecked

I really enjoyed your post; a very thoughtful look at the potential downsides of polyamory. So much of what I've read about it is written by poly practitioners/advocates. It's like trying to find out how good a make of car is by talking to the car salesman. As an old person, I think much of what you say is true of anyone with age, regardless of their relationship orientation. Our choices get limited in many ways, and people tend to hunker down into some configuration as they age and stay there until the end. We're less open to change, unfortunately, and opportunities dry up. I think age needs to be re-defined like relationships, and looked at outside the usual box our culture puts it in. You're alive until you die. Live that way
Reply With Quote
  #64  
Old 02-17-2014, 08:28 PM
vanquish vanquish is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Montgomery, AL
Posts: 294
Default

Shipwrecked, I have to say you've brought some wisdom to the table with your post. You don't seem depressed to me...simply realistic. What I really liked was your analytical approach about the decline of certain groups over time and tendencies towards monogamy.

As a 42 year-old with a 20 year-old primary, I can tell you, what you're saying rings true. Of course, dating in your age range does help, but that's only one factor. Attractiveness is more than outward appearance, but outward appearance is indeed a major factor at the attraction stage.

I didn't see this as an assassination of polyamory, simply realism.
__________________
Me - male, 42, poly, straight, in a serious relationship with Audrey, also casually dating.

Audrey - female, 20, poly, pansexual, also casually dating.
Reply With Quote
  #65  
Old 02-18-2014, 02:43 AM
ployshyguy ployshyguy is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 11
Default

Second on OK Cupid. I found a date within 2 weeks, and while we're no longer seeing each other, we remain friends. And it never hurts to have more friends.
Reply With Quote
  #66  
Old 02-18-2014, 04:05 PM
vanquish vanquish is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Montgomery, AL
Posts: 294
Default

In my area, OKCupid and Plenty of Fish aren't too great, but that's only because of the selection pool. Your area might be great. Tinder is more of a hookup app, but it's very age-centric in the extreme.
__________________
Me - male, 42, poly, straight, in a serious relationship with Audrey, also casually dating.

Audrey - female, 20, poly, pansexual, also casually dating.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 11:36 PM.