Being open or not about poly?

[Dianthus]

Originally Posted by dali5671

But for some reason, I have a strong desire to share this with our friends, even knowing that it could cause some problems with some. I really want them to know, and haven't yet figured out why. Some know, some suspect, as they go out freely, and I've been encouraging of any natural PDA's, I want them to be free to be uninhibited so their time together is not compromised. Several of our friends have "called them" on it, and she won't deny she loves him.

I have a similar problem -- really can't be out to certain segments of my life, and yet really want to be. Partially, I hate feeling like someone I care about is a dirty little secret, and I hate feeling like I can't be candid with my friends and have to hide things from them (It hits some big social anxiety buttons for me from way back in my life.)

Plus, when I'm in the same room with my sweetie it's really glaringly, unbelievably obvious that we're not 'just friends'. So if he were to come to visit me we'd have to pretty much stay in, which is not the norm in my community. There's no easy way to finesse it without answering some tough questions.

We haven't figured out what exactly to do about it yet, mainly because I've been visiting there instead of the other way around. Eventually that will end, and I hate still feeling like everything is unknown about how to handle it.

[MsChristy]

Neither me, C, or H are out to any of our families, and I don't see that changing. My family is very conservative, and I know they would be devastated to see me stray from a traditional family structure. C's family, while more open minded, is still very traditional when it comes to things involving the family. H always says he feels his family will love him no matter what, but that it is not their business to know, which I completely respect.

We do have some friends that know, most of which are other poly friends. I feel that having someone I can talk about poly stuff with is helpful, and can't imagine if absolutely no one knew.