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  #71  
Old 08-27-2010, 01:13 AM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Originally Posted by Superjast View Post

Also,..is there anyone here who actually has intimate, sexual relationships with people who are transgendered ? That`s who I`d want to hear from.
Yes, Magdlyn does. And you have been hearing from her
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  #72  
Old 08-27-2010, 04:09 AM
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I think, once upon a time I was in this thread, so I am going to ask something,

Magdyln, Can you elaborate on 'So-Called bisexuals' please ?
Sorry, that was flippant. I meant, bisexuals who are attracted to a transperson, but then are appalled to find out that person is trans, either pre-op or post-op.

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Also,..is there anyone here who actually has intimate, sexual relationships with people who are transgendered ? That`s who I`d want to hear from.
I guess i thought people here knew my gf was trans. I talk about her all the time... arent you all hanging on my every word?
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  #73  
Old 08-27-2010, 03:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
I guess i thought people here knew my gf was trans. I talk about her all the time... arent you all hanging on my every word?
Oh yes, we most definitely are.
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  #74  
Old 08-27-2010, 04:17 PM
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Excellent,..I like learning a bit about peoples relationships on here. Had no idea about Magdalyns trans gf. I don`t tend to talk to anyone off threads. That spurs lots of questions from me. I hope you will be ready.

I admit this thread is making me a bit crusty. I`m sure its come through in my posts. I am going to try and explain some parts of that, and why. I get crusty when I feel people are starting to get a superior attitude , or a bit elitist about things.

1st I have to say, that I don`t think someone handling a situation badly, where they find out a person is a post-op transexual is a 'so-called' bisexual. They are just as bi-sexual as any other bi-sexual, albeit obviously a jackass, if they are rude about it.

Onward,...
There is a division in my head personally, between what I am attracted to, and the regular part of me, that believes in treating human beings properly and not judging them or their bodies. I am not only open or accepting, but truly see someone as my equal, and of no shame for being different,..

That doesnt mean I am going to be attracted to them. I haven`t in the past. That includes post-op transexuals.

I read the posts here and reflected on why that is. I have come to the conclusion, that I believe, a lot of it has less to do with shunning a member of society then people would like to think. I know for myself, I realized a common denominator in my attraction. I like natural bodies, and am not big on any type of major body modification. Of course someone can pick flyshit out of the pepper jar, and start saying ' What about ear piercing, and hair dye ?' blah blah blabbedy blah. Point is, its a part of attraction to me. Has nothing to do with any sense of ' rejecting of the gender differences'.

In my original post, I should of explained why my attraction to the young man who was a cross-dresser was being marvelled at by me. It wasn`t some 'new' thing that I don`t normally associate with. It`s the fact that I usually like men for being men. I had then wondered about the pansexual label, but it wasn`t clear in any definition I saw, where one sits, if they were attracted to someone who cross dresses, but nothing further then that. (Obviously typing it out, I ended up answering my own question.)

When I am in domme mode, I don`t enjoy , and refuse, to sissify men. Some Dominas like doing that, and a whole lot of submissive men enjoy it. Thats fine. For me, to use feminity like it is weak, or something to mock, does not sit well with me. I enjoy men, but I like men to be men, and women to be women, because I APPRECIATE the differences in the (original ? ) genders.

This is something i`ve known about myself since I was 20. I think that knowledge carries over, and does have a few self placed blinders on. It doesn`t mean I won`t be open to it in the future, but for right now, I guess I like to keep my genders apart. Does that make me some type of failure because I know what I do, and don`t like ? If so,..I have to be honest with you,.I`m quite fine with being that type of failure.


As for all the labels. I am really trying to appreciate peoples needs for self identification. For a label they enjoy, and feel good with. BUT DAMN PEOPLE,..in the bigger picture , it just doesn`t qualify as good reasoning.

I remember a thread where someone talked about biamory. I cannot remember the details right now, but what I do remember, is that the OP stated his case in a very factual, well typed, way. It did not seem to strike me with the same elitist attitude that this thread has leaned towards.

This thread I have heard of 30 + genders,...which actually interests me. What doesn`t interest me, is the mindset, that if we don`t know all 30, are not current on all 30+, that somehow we need to apologize because we have slighted someone out there, somewhere.

This,..is how people lose credibility. And before you all get your panties and briefs in a bunch. Think of a few things first.

In the business word, they know no matter how many times a company changes hands, merges, or reinvents itself,...if they constantly change company names, they will lose customers and clients. People will not keep up and follow. That is why even very prominant places know to go with one name or the other, or merge names. Your MSNNBC, or your TD Canada Trust,..are merged for a reason. So people can still follow a line of association.

There is always going to be part of the population that has a bad experience with a word or label. Every 5 to 10 years, you will have a 'new' crop of self identified people, and all this label changing, is NOT good for the overall picture of acceptance or credibility.

Many of us, have had our real first or last names mocked, made fun of, or twisted into some interesting, or rude nickname. For very few individuals, they legally change their name. The rest of us, learn to ignore and be proud of our name. As adults we kind of 'reclaim' it back from whatever jokes were made about it in our youth.

Same goes with words like 'slut',..people are being told to 'reclaim' that word, and put a positive spin on it. I`ve asked this before, and am asking it again. Does it not then make more sense to reclaim other sexual orientation, and gender specific words, rather then coming up with 20 new names, to appease the over-sensitivity of people ?


Anyhow,...all this is just food for thought.

( I dislike being wordy. Take your time responding, cause I need a break from my gift-of-typing)
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  #75  
Old 08-27-2010, 06:32 PM
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Originally Posted by Superjast View Post
I think that knowledge carries over, and does have a few self placed blinders on. It doesn`t mean I won`t be open to it in the future, but for right now, I guess I like to keep my genders apart. Does that make me some type of failure because I know what I do, and don`t like ? If so,..I have to be honest with you,.I`m quite fine with being that type of failure.
Failure, nope. It means you are bisexual to me. That's it.

Thanks for sharing what your bisexuality is about for you. I personally love men being sissies. I don't see it as mockery because they have no idea how to be strong powerful self assured women, because they aren't. They are a whole other thing that is far from actually being a woman. I see it as entirely different than being a woman. Thanks for making me think of a different way of looking at it however.

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Originally Posted by Superjast View Post
Does it not then make more sense to reclaim other sexual orientation, and gender specific words, rather then coming up with 20 new names, to appease the over-sensitivity of people ?
I think 20 plus new names is awesome. The more the merrier... for me it is a way of reclaiming. I don't need to re-claim the word "slut" for example. That word is what it is and I have moved on to other words that created an image of what "slut" is trying to reclaim. Like "floozy" "jezebel" and my favorite because I use it as my burlesque name of pepperminx...."minx." All of these are different yet similar. These kinds of labels I give myself and hear from others make it more specific and invite conversation and interest on my part. They make me wonder about the person who uses them rather than assuming I know or seeing them as a failure or something to judge.

Really, pan or bi.... who cares, there is no shame in one or the other, just difference and that makes my heart sing personally. I love diversity and everything in it, even when the diversity is seemingly mainstream... by now, mainstream IS diversity to me actually
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  #76  
Old 08-27-2010, 06:46 PM
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SourGirl SourGirl is offline
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Thank you Redpepper. I think your whole post gave me a true appreciation of seeing it from a different angle , thank you.

I will probably always wince though, when people carry labels forth, like it is a 'must do'. Otherwise I can understand, and relate to the joy of diversity.

One of my best friends is a long term domina as well, and she loves the sissy men. Its her favourite thing. I do understand how that is not a negative thing, and hope it didnt come across like I see it as negative for others.

My start in BDSM was different as I started out not with natural subs, but with dominating other dominants, so that probably has a lot to do with my view on those things...and the carry over continues.

Thanks for the great post.
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  #77  
Old 08-27-2010, 06:57 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Originally Posted by Superjast View Post
My start in BDSM was different as I started out not with natural subs, but with dominating other dominants, so that probably has a lot to do with my view on those things...and the carry over continues.
Oh my, what does that mean... sorry, might be a hyjack or too personal. Please feel free not to respond or PM.
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  #78  
Old 08-27-2010, 07:08 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Oh my, what does that mean... sorry, might be a hyjack or too personal. Please feel free not to respond or PM.
It scares me a bit too
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  #79  
Old 08-27-2010, 07:48 PM
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@ Ariakas - Whatever ! You already know my history. No worries for you.

@ Redpepper - Nothing real personal about it. I just see a connection to the fact that my first experiences with D/s, were with people who had always been Dominants, and decided they wanted to try the other side. Obviously, they felt safe exploring that side with a young 'newbie'. Still, I was highly attracted to it.
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  #80  
Old 08-27-2010, 07:58 PM
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Ahhh, got it.
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