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Old 05-09-2009, 11:18 PM
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River River is offline
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Default Here we go again.

Kevin & David & I had some three-way intimacy many years ago. It's started up again--quite unexpectedly for all of us.

We went for a hike together to a meadow and had a picnic in the sun and shadows beside a stream and green, green, green--idylic, lots of talking, handholding, holding of heads in laps, simple joy-tenderness and relaxed easefulness picnic.

Not a lot else to say just now. Happy. Healing. Growing. Nothing at all to complain about.

The affection is flowing in each direction and there are no problems at all.

===

Okay, I'll say a little more.... I'm so freaking LUCKY! I am SO free to explore, expand, exist, excite, examine...! I'm SO out of the box and it's So natural and easy that it might make my head spin if it weren't so ... well, ordinary. It does feel as if Kevin & I are simultaniously "dating" David, only without anything so heavy as "dating" going on. Easefull, light, good -- no big deal. It took a lot of hard knocks to get here for all of us and we ought to be proud of our accomplishments.

There were sloppy kisses at the end of this beginning. All around. No nakedness -- just as the situation called for!

Last edited by River; 05-10-2009 at 01:27 AM.
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Old 05-10-2009, 12:32 AM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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That sounds like a very good day. It's also nice to read the happy stories, as we have so many tales of worries 'round here.
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Old 05-10-2009, 01:13 AM
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Thanks, SeventhCrow. Yes, a most fine afternoon with an old intimate friend who we haven't seen much in a long while. David used to be a next door neighbor. He and we and I and all of us have our wounds, our "issues", our "stuff"... but isn't that just how it is on Earth at the moment? Seems to be. And so we are all holding each other in appreciation, kindness, warmth..., not a lot of expectation and demand.... It was a very nice afternoon, indeed. I feel blessed by everything, by everyone, by the sun and the moon and the stars. And that is so not Hollywood. It's just life. Roses have thorns and all. No problem! Glad to be awake and alive! Happy to give myself and my many loves all the love we need that each can give. Happy, also, to receive just that which I can. Happy to let it all be happy and with no problems for now. Happy to address any problems as they arise, and not before! Smiles!

Last edited by River; 05-10-2009 at 01:16 AM.
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Old 05-10-2009, 04:01 AM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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It appears that all three of you have reached the point where you understand your own issues, have taken responsibility for them, and can thus accept each others' issues and be supportive while allowing each to attend to his own matters. Taking care of all parts of the relationship (web) hinges on that, I think.

A fully functional relationship involves taking care of You, Me, and Us. In poly situations that gets extended to taking care of You, Me, Us, Other You, Other Us (however many times necessary), and All of Us (the whole shootin' match). If everybody involved is taking care of all of those entities, then all is well. From what you described, that was happening on that day.
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Old 05-10-2009, 03:03 PM
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Good words.

I'm undergoing something of a (r)evolutionary shift in my psyche regards relationships. All of the furniture and utensils -- rugs, drapes -- in this metaphorical house is in continuous motion, in search of a whole new atmosphere. I'm re-examining all of my beliefs, habits, etc.

I am and feel much, much less needy than I used to, and I rarely anymore react or respond to the world from a lack perspective. I'm open to all kinds of loving adventure, but have zero need to act out dramas or anything not mutually beneficial for all involved. Am willing to dance with the legitimate needs of all involved and any healing/openning processes, and can be gently nurturing in all that without pushing or pulling. And I'm learning, healing, and growing a little each day. So this is a very good time for me.

Key to all of this is that I've found the source of happiness and unhappiness -- in myself. It isn't sourced from others, and there's just as much happiness available as I am willing to open further to--which I do daily, expansively more each day and week. I can enjoy others without expecting or demanding much, if anything. Even the rough patches of road are contained within a basic joy atmosphere of non-lack.

Last edited by River; 05-10-2009 at 03:05 PM.
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Old 05-13-2009, 11:15 AM
Penny29 Penny29 is offline
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Thanks for sharing the story with us, JRiverMartin. It's good to see that it's possible to have relationships like yours. It's not easy to find a partner that accepts such a kind of "dating". But I think it's a normal thing to meet other people, share your thoughts with them and have a good time.
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Old 05-14-2009, 01:15 PM
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Olivier Olivier is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JRiverMartin View Post
Good words.

I'm undergoing something of a (r)evolutionary shift in my psyche regards relationships. All of the furniture and utensils -- rugs, drapes -- in this metaphorical house is in continuous motion, in search of a whole new atmosphere. I'm re-examining all of my beliefs, habits, etc.

I am and feel much, much less needy than I used to, and I rarely anymore react or respond to the world from a lack perspective. I'm open to all kinds of loving adventure, but have zero need to act out dramas or anything not mutually beneficial for all involved. Am willing to dance with the legitimate needs of all involved and any healing/openning processes, and can be gently nurturing in all that without pushing or pulling. And I'm learning, healing, and growing a little each day. So this is a very good time for me.

Key to all of this is that I've found the source of happiness and unhappiness -- in myself. It isn't sourced from others, and there's just as much happiness available as I am willing to open further to--which I do daily, expansively more each day and week. I can enjoy others without expecting or demanding much, if anything. Even the rough patches of road are contained within a basic joy atmosphere of non-lack.
This is amazing!
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Old 05-14-2009, 02:06 PM
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Yes! It is!

It isn't that some old not-so-happy habit patterns in my "emotional body" aren't still triggered or active at all, however. It's just that the peace, joy, freedom, happiness..., is now the container in which these are held and healed. Also, I don't act them out so much, those old less-than-happy emotional patterns/energies.

So, overall, I'm just very, very happy -- and I'm causing less unhappiness in others around me. Indeed, they are also healing and growing in this same light.
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Old 07-29-2009, 08:47 PM
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Updating....

David sort of disappeared, and won't return phone calls, so I take that as a signal that he'd rather not even continue on as friends. Fortunately, I hadn't invested much in any hopes or expectations with him.

I've had a lot of disappointments in the months since my last report here, and haven't maintained the same attitude as I reported then. Some of my old not-so-happy and not-so-healthy habits have reasserted themselves, though perhaps not as bad as it had once been.

I really need to attend to what needs attending to in order to open myself to the healthier state I reported months ago. I think getting back into running and sitting meditation will likely help. And I need to drink less alcohol.
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Old 07-29-2009, 09:38 PM
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Sorry to hear he took the "easy" way out, by disappearing. I too recently had the same thing happen to me. It absolutely SUCKS dealing with, as it tends to leave so many unanswered questions. Hugs to you.
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