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  #11  
Old 01-31-2011, 09:14 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Originally Posted by sage View Post
I think Mono needs to get the "monopoly" word out of his signature it could be causing serious subtle energetic disturbances.
I can't..it would take away from my funny wit
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  #12  
Old 01-31-2011, 09:49 PM
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It does beg a chicken and egg kind of a question though. Does identifying with some aspect of ourselves very strongly keep us from moving and growing or is it an expression of what is innately us and will never change?

Lately I'm feeling less and less comfortable with the "Mono" label and just as we found with "primary" "secondary" labels, I don't think I need it any more. I feel myself moving into a new phase of "polyfriendly"
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  #13  
Old 01-31-2011, 10:11 PM
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or is it an expression of what is innately us and will never change?

"
For me it is. I like labels as well so secondary and primary are completely cool with me. Admittedly I am very protective of my Mono stamp for some unknown reason and always want it known to people in our community. Maybe I actually like being different after all.
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  #14  
Old 02-01-2011, 07:37 AM
Aesthareon Aesthareon is offline
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I'm amused at how much this thread evolved in 24 hours. :P

Thank you guys though. I'm glad to have some input, and more than that, people who can actually understands how I'm feeling right now.
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OP, if you enjoy torturing your partner and them torturing you.... with long drawn out conversations, discussions and debates that don't seem to ever have and end... followed by tons of heartache and great make up sex... then go for it! Mono/poly all the way!
That's not quite the kind of torture I enjoy... I like the last part though. :P

I guess I should update a bit. Today was... difficult. To be honest, it's only been 48 hours since this all started - I have no idea how it suddenly became so complicated so fast. But anyway. I pretty much had a 7 hour long panic attack today, from a combination of school, worry and guilt about my feelings, and a friend of mine's impending planned suicide. >.<
After school, the boy (He needs a fake name so I can stop calling him "the boy"... how about Elliot, it's somewhat close to his real name but not too close) came to see about taking courses from my school, (I'm in community college) and we ended up talking over coffee. My boyfriend (I'll call him Aiden, it's his online name) started texting me, and got a little angry finding out he was with me. We sorted that out though, and have decided me and Elliot won't be hanging out anytime soon, at least until we've figured something out.
Things got better for the rest of the day though, me and Aiden managed to get the subject of our conversations off of "but what if you decide you like him better than me or he's a better lover or something?!?!?!?" and managed to have some fun together online. I really do think we're going to get through this one way or another. And it's not my ideal, but I would be willing to be monogamous if he were to decide he was really uncomfortable with it.
Anyway, that was quite long. TL;DR both of us had a bit of a rough day but I think we can survive.

Last edited by Aesthareon; 02-01-2011 at 07:46 AM.
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  #15  
Old 02-01-2011, 05:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Aesthareon View Post
I'm amused at how much this thread evolved in 24 hours. :P

Thank you guys though. I'm glad to have some input, and more than that, people who can actually understands how I'm feeling right now.

That's not quite the kind of torture I enjoy... I like the last part though. :P

I guess I should update a bit. Today was... difficult. To be honest, it's only been 48 hours since this all started - I have no idea how it suddenly became so complicated so fast. But anyway. I pretty much had a 7 hour long panic attack today, from a combination of school, worry and guilt about my feelings, and a friend of mine's impending planned suicide. >.<
After school, the boy (He needs a fake name so I can stop calling him "the boy"... how about Elliot, it's somewhat close to his real name but not too close) came to see about taking courses from my school, (I'm in community college) and we ended up talking over coffee. My boyfriend (I'll call him Aiden, it's his online name) started texting me, and got a little angry finding out he was with me. We sorted that out though, and have decided me and Elliot won't be hanging out anytime soon, at least until we've figured something out.
Things got better for the rest of the day though, me and Aiden managed to get the subject of our conversations off of "but what if you decide you like him better than me or he's a better lover or something?!?!?!?" and managed to have some fun together online. I really do think we're going to get through this one way or another. And it's not my ideal, but I would be willing to be monogamous if he were to decide he was really uncomfortable with it.
Anyway, that was quite long. TL;DR both of us had a bit of a rough day but I think we can survive.
Wow can i ever relate.

Mostly to your last bit. About being monogamous if required, but it really not being the ideal for me.

i don't have any answers but i'm really going with the idea of moving at the rate of the slowest/least comfortable one. At least for now.

Sometimes, i'll admit, this all seems too good to actually be true, too awesome to actually work...

But i want it to work.
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