Sexual Ethics

[AutumnalTone]

Originally Posted by Quath

As an easy example, how do I feel about underaged sex? My first reaction is say it is wrong because they need an adult mentality to deal with it well. But I remember being young and wanting sex... Am I being unfair because I know it doesn't relate to me anymore? So one thing I do is see where the taboo lines are and why.

I've always understood that adolescence involves a lot of practice for being an adult. Teens put on personas to try them on for size. They try different types of activities to find those that fit. They experiment with life--and sex is part of that. I fear a lack of development if an adolescent isn't interested in sex.

Sexual activity ranges from snogging to petting to masturbation to oral sex to penetration and all variations thereof. I expect teens to experiment with all of that at some point as preparation for being an adult. I really don't care with whom they experiment, as long as it is consensual and nobody's trying to take advantage of somebody else's inexperience and naivete. I also don't worry if they get disappointed or heartbroken in the process--welcome to the human experience!

Pedophilia involves children who are simply physically not ready for sex at all, let alone being of an age to where they're practicing for adulthood, so that one I think is firm. Incest can lead to severe inbreeding and birth defects, so that's always a concern; it can also interrupt the regular functioning of a family, so I think it still something to be very wary of. I suspect many of the other sexual taboos we have arise from the ease with which things can go horribly wrong--preying on somebody's innocence for an unhealthy relationship.

So, while I think some of our taboos--adolescent sex, for instance (which is a fairly recent taboo, actually)--aren't necessarily warranted, some others appear to be highly useful.

Yeah, I know, this had squat to do with poly. It was just something that kept banging on the door to get out of my head as part of the discussion. We now return you to posts that might actually discuss sexual ethics as relating to polyamory....

[River]

Thanks for those words, Crow. My concept in starting this topic was to discuss sexual ethics in general -- and poly in relation to that. So you're right on topic!

[redsirenn]

This is really in response to Redpepper's comment about the media and influence on our culture -

I was talking to Ouroboros last night about this. How in language many of the derogatory words stem from something sexual... (I will try to be as proper as possible with examples as this is meant to be purely an academic argument) For example, C**t, Slut, Whore, S*ck my D*ck, the list goes on... (again I apologize if this is insulting to anyone, it is not meant to be - moderators, please feel free to delete if you must)

How horrible that we use these terms to degrade someone? This type of language is not only degrading to sexual acts and natural and beautiful parts of the human body, but is in a way a form of abuse of power... It relates power to sex and in a negative way...

It is no wonder that people have a hard time defining ethical sex. So much of our language is poisoned by this type of negativity.

[XYZ123]

We use derogatory sexual language. We hear about sexual acts, often ones that objectify and are even violent towards women, in our popular music. We watch teen dramas which revolve around who is having sex with whom. We are constantly inundated by ads using sex to sell. Our celebrities are hounded in the media over their sex lives. Our young celebrities are pressured to have more sex appeal. Yet abstinence is preached. Proper sex education is not taught in our schools. Parents don't talk to their children about responsible sex until it's often too late. Open and honest discussions on sex are taboo. Yup. Pretty back-ass-wards.

[AutumnalTone]

Originally Posted by redsirenn

I was talking to Ouroboros last night about this. How in language many of the derogatory words stem from something sexual... (I will try to be as proper as possible with examples as this is meant to be purely an academic argument) For example, C**t, Slut, Whore, S*ck my D*ck, the list goes on... (again I apologize if this is insulting to anyone, it is not meant to be - moderators, please feel free to delete if you must)

This forum allows for adults to express themselves using all necessary words. Not only is your post not going to be deleted, I'll spell the words out clearly:

Cunt, Slut, Whore, Suck my dick; and expand on it a bit: cocksucker, motherfucker, tits, twat, pussy, cock, prick, to include terms for actual intercourse, such as fuck, bugger, etc....

These all arose out of the Puritanical bent of western culture, as strongly influenced by the actual Puritans and those like them. Remember, any earthly pleasure--to include sex in any form--is supposed to be sinful and something to be reviled.

[River]

Originally Posted by SeventhCrow

Remember, any earthly pleasure--to include sex in any form--is supposed to be sinful and something to be reviled.

Heh. And they call us perverts!

[vandalin]

And of course the only thing going through my mind is George Carlin and his seven words...boy I'm going to miss that man!

[Barry]

Originally Posted by JRiverMartin

What kinds of sexual activity should be socially discouraged? And why?
http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showp...1&postcount=17

After reading over the excellent posts by others in this thread I realized that the topical areas are ones that we would naturally gravitate toward. They are all important, incest, underage sex, prostitution, even infidelity. And each one of these topics, if viewed both culturally, and historically, have been at times both embraced by mankind and rejected. The things I think of immediately when posed with the question, "what sexual activity should be discouraged?" are acts of brutality. Whether they be true sexual acts, or acts perpetrated within the parameters of sex activity,........ rape, murder and torture, regardless of the age or sex of the victim, should never be tolerated; should never be excused.

[urmila]

Originally Posted by River

This question is for all who want to answer it -- and isn't directed at anyone in particular.:

Does the thought of two sisters (or brothers) dating the same guy (or gal) ... rub you the wrong way?

Should such a practice be socially discouraged?

If yes, why?

an emperuc NO, it is perfectly ok for siblings dating the same person, i dont find anything wrong about and the society at large has nothing to say about, and it cant even be termed as incest

Also i agree completely with Barry abour what acts should be discouraged and should never be excused