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  #41  
Old 02-02-2011, 03:58 AM
Jimithia Jimithia is offline
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Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
Here's some threads that are related http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showt...hlight=asexual

http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showt...hlight=asexual

These are the two main ones I noticed after doing a search for asexual. There are more as well


Thank you very much, these are very helpful
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  #42  
Old 02-02-2011, 05:37 AM
Catfish Catfish is offline
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Yes.
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  #43  
Old 02-26-2011, 12:33 AM
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I went to a really interesting poly meet last night where a really interesting and funny woman talked about asexuality. Wow did I learn a lot....!

Here is a link with some basic facts from the website she mods... and has done for about 10 years... http://www.asexuality.org/home/overview.html

My first thoughts were based on what happened that made this be... I have a friend that was extremely sexually abused as a child and I have clients that take a ton of anti-depressant and anti psychotic medication that has made their desire go... but apparently this is not asexuality... asexuality is an orientation that one is born with... like being gay or lesbian or bi.

Another term I was not familiar with is aromantic... here is a definition... http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index...itle=Aromantic so from what I gather, asexuals can identify as romantic or not... aromantic. The latter means that they carry on relationships with others in a romantic sense, but not a sexual sense. some carry on relationships without romance or sex.

Another interesting fact I didn't know is that some asexuals are just not desirerous of others yet will have sex as it is meaningful for their partners... some are repelled by the act and will not. Some have kids by just preforming the act or by turkey baster method... etc... the range of relationship is the same as in the sexual community it seems.

So much to learn!

The woman that spoke talked of her life, her experiences on the forum and gave some stats that were the results of studies. Very interesting. Hope someone finds this link and those associated with it helpful and interesting as poly and asexuality has a strong link for some.
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Last edited by redpepper; 02-26-2011 at 12:39 AM.
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  #44  
Old 02-26-2011, 12:58 AM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Interesting.

This thread popping up again has me wondering if anybody's found a collection of terms that attempts to encompass the gamut of relationship connections.

For me, I'd love to find a term that describes romantic friendships in a fashion with which I can identify. For me to be involved with somebody, sex has to be involved. I'm at a loss as to how to refer to somebody with whom I'm not involved and yet have a bit of a romance going.
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  #45  
Old 02-26-2011, 01:47 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
My first thoughts were based on what happened that made this be... I have a friend that was extremely sexually abused as a child and I have clients that take a ton of anti-depressant and anti psychotic medication that has made their desire go... but apparently this is not asexuality... asexuality is an orientation that one is born with... like being gay or lesbian or bi.
Yeah, so I just skimmed through this thread, since it popped up, and I was wondering about the term asexual. It seemed that really what lots of folks were talking about was essentially being non-sexual, not necessarily asexual. Just like the recent thread where someone used the term celibate just because they haven't had sex in a while. Being celibate is a choice. Being asexual, not a choice - either from having non-functioning sexual organs or no desire for sex -- and usually not a response to emotional trauma. But being non-sexual, rather than asexual or celibate, could be either a choice or a situation one finds oneself in. I remember seeing a television special or documentary about thirty years ago (when I was very young!!) about an asexual person who lived as a man but had no sex drive. I recall some discussion in it about hormones and his genitalia.

I will visit that link when I have a chance.

Autumn, why not just call it a non-sexual romance? Or a close companionship? Ah, there are so many forms of intimacy, yet not enough words!
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Last edited by nycindie; 02-26-2011 at 02:05 AM.
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  #46  
Old 02-26-2011, 03:48 AM
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
It seemed that really what lots of folks were talking about was essentially being non-sexual, not necessarily asexual.
Yes! me included I think.... I thought I would address the fact that there is a whole community of people that do identify as such and it is far different than non-sexual.
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  #47  
Old 02-26-2011, 03:52 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Yes! me included I think.... I thought I would address the fact that there is a whole community of people that do identify as such and it is far different than non-sexual.
Maybe the term "asexual" has changed over the years to include how one self-identifies, but I've always thought of it as something medical/biological.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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  #48  
Old 02-26-2011, 06:03 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Maybe the term "asexual" has changed over the years to include how one self-identifies, but I've always thought of it as something medical/biological.
There's been research done on asexual people. There bodies actually respond exactly the same as anyone else's physiologically. Their hormone levels are the same, their bodies become stimulated by porn...they just don't desire acting on it with someone. There is absolutely nothing wrong or different with them biologically. Got to their sight and check out the info...I have never been shocked by the idea and was surprised at how many people at the meeting were. Very cool!
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  #49  
Old 02-26-2011, 07:11 AM
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yup, nothing to do with chemical imbalance... think of someone who is gay. Same thing in that once people thought they might have an imbalance of some kind. Some still do... asexuality is in that bracket. Not a choice, an orientation. There is no therapy or other course of action that will change that. Asexuals just aren't interested in sex and don't get how others could be.

Agreeing with Mono, check out the Forum... very clear and educational.
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  #50  
Old 04-02-2011, 06:10 AM
koifish koifish is offline
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I don't think asexuals necessarily lack intense romantic feelings, so I could see that happening.
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