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  #21  
Old 10-24-2013, 05:15 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Derbylicious View Post
My way of having dealt with jealousy is by having gotten to a place internally where I would be completely OK with being alone. I much prefer to have people in my life and I treasure them greatly. But there is no fear in them finding someone else because I'd rather someone be with me because they truly want to be rather than because they feel that they need to be. I know that every day my partners chose to be with me and that's comforting.
Yep .. this 100%
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  #22  
Old 10-24-2013, 10:53 PM
Dirtclustit Dirtclustit is offline
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Default Being confused never helps anything

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Originally Posted by london View Post
You have to beat down that core part of you that wants monogamy. Kill it dead. After that, you should be numb and apathetic enough not to care. You'll also feel devalued, miserable and not quite yourself though.
so you might not want to confuse monogamy with jealousy.

It's a mistake to paint one way to have a relationship as bad, or something it obviously is not. Such thinking is exactly the idiocy that caused society to wrongly afflict people who chose any sort of non-monogamy.

I can understand being upset at those who hurt you, but engaging in the same behavior only implies that you cannot taught important lessons in life. When fail to learn these lessons after being oppressed, it's pretty hopeless you will learn from being the oppressor.

Until you've been wrongfully afflicted or oppressed, this is still a good chance you will be able to learn right from wrong when the tables are turned

and there is a difference between people who don't know right from wrong and those who knowingly choose to do wrong.

Non-monogamy and polyamory are not relationship dynamics where there is no such thing as jealousy, for many people it is an ability to get along with and understand your partners and your metamours

being involved with people who intentionally misunderstand you or refuse to listen by discounting your emotions when you attempt to share them, is a recipe for disaster

esp if you feel like you favor monogamy. Polyamory is not the ability to let your lover fuck other people without breaking up with them

it is an ability to understand your partners so that your are not left to "just deal with it"

Believe or not, people in healthy monogamous relationships are better equipped to deal with jealousy than people in unhealthy polyamorous relationships.

Pretending that a relationship is free from jealousy because you are seeing more than one person or that another persons relationship is fraught with jealousy because it's monogamous, is actually fairly ignorant

Are you pissed off about something London?

that's not the sort of ideas I typically hear from you, what gives?
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