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  #11  
Old 08-06-2009, 06:47 PM
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Originally Posted by Quath View Post
I think you should try to get the idea out there that you are not property and, therefore, you can not be stolen. Neither one of them has the power to make you care for the other less. Then try to find out why she is feeling that way. It is not easy getting people to talk about these feelings, but if you can get it started, it pays off long term.

As for the mother, she will accept it or not. Her main focus will probably be on the happiness of her daughters. If they accept the relationship, then she may evebtually accept it.

Good luck.
Thanks quath for your wisdom! You raise really good points! Thanks also for rising above our discomfort and judgment of this situation. I for one struggle with it but am eager to learn and think of it differently.
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  #12  
Old 08-06-2009, 06:51 PM
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Oh, you guys! Dating brothers, or sisters, is just fine if everyone involved is happy with it. Jeeze! Incest? Ha!
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  #13  
Old 08-06-2009, 07:06 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Oh, you guys! Dating brothers, or sisters, is just fine if everyone involved is happy with it. Jeeze! Incest? Ha!
We're all allowed to have our own opinion; I'm not here to prove how un-uptight I am.

And if you read the OP, you would see that "everyone" is NOT happy with "it".

Edit: I find myself attracted to my husband's sister (who is also bi), but I will not pursue that because it's just too freaky.

Last edited by NeonKaos; 08-06-2009 at 07:10 PM.
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  #14  
Old 08-06-2009, 07:16 PM
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We're all allowed to have our own opinion; I'm not here to prove how un-uptight I am.

And if you read the OP, you would see that "everyone" is NOT happy with "it".

Edit: I find myself attracted to my husband's sister (who is also bi), but I will not pursue that because it's just too freaky.
Agreed.
And what is it with husbands and having hot sisters? Mine too.
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  #15  
Old 08-06-2009, 10:05 PM
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We're all allowed to have our own opinion;
Of course! That's all I expressed. I figure if two sisters want to be polyamorously involved with the same man, that does not NECESSARILY have to be a problem -- or be at all similar to incest. It would be incest if the two sisters were sexually involved with eachOTHER.

Quote:
I'm not here to prove how un-uptight I am.
I'm not involved in any such contest or whatever. I just think that in SOME circumstances, and where all of the people involved are okay with it, two brothers or sisters sharing a boyfriend or girlfriend needn't be off-putting or cause us heebie-jeebies. Repeat: It doesn't constitute incest! Some people may handle it just fine.
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  #16  
Old 08-06-2009, 10:20 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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I know they might use condoms, but let's say they're tested and they don't. Even if they DO, I'm squicked out by the whole "double-dipping" concept, and even though I'm realistic and understand that it's not for me to make this decision for other people and their decisions don't affect me, I think EVERYONE should be squicked by it. I'm an only-child, but I know if I had a brother OR sister I wouldn't want to share a boyfriend OR girlfriend with either. I also wouldn't date someone who was dating one of my PARENTS. Any first-degree relatives should not intermingle this way. There are plenty of other people in the world.

I'm not even sure if "squick" is in the dictionary; I even hate using that word, but it fits this description. I have consulted my solar plexus about this and refuse to let my brain rationalize away something that I know to be true.
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Old 08-06-2009, 10:52 PM
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ummm.... "double dipping" means something different in this context. It refers to a Seinfeld episode, in which potato chips -- corn chips? -- were dipped into some sort of party dip..., the chip was half eaten and then RE-dipped into the dip....

http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/...-dipping_N.htm

"Double dipping" is not an obscure code for two sisters dating the same guy. If that "squicks" you, that's fine. We all have our boundaries or limits. I was merely trying to discourage prejudice -- toward anyone behaving in fundamentally ethical ways. Which does raise the question of sexual ethics. A topic we probably ought to have in this forum.
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  #18  
Old 08-06-2009, 11:02 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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I stand corrected on my usage of "double-dipping" (I don't speak seinfeld anyway so I don't care), but unfortunately there is no dictionary of metaphors to consult. I think I got my point across despite the ambiguity in that regard.

If that makes me "prejudiced", I'll own it. I'm "prejudiced" toward that arrangement. We're all prejudiced in some ways. The more I write the word, the more it doesn't seem like something that should be denied. I am totally comfortable with my reasoning and my stipulations on this subject, so EMBRACE the fact that this constitutes "prejudice".

I will reiterate one thing: I realize that I cannot control what other people do with themselves.

Last edited by NeonKaos; 08-06-2009 at 11:33 PM.
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  #19  
Old 08-07-2009, 12:04 AM
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Originally Posted by paulsimonlebon View Post
Have been dating two sisters for about a month now. I dated one previously and we've come to incorporate the other somewhat equally. Now the original sister is accusing the other of trying to steal me.

On top of this she's also informed the mother, further complicating things. What should I do to make sure she feels that she's not getting slighted? And what about the mother?
Woo! Feisty topic- Ygirl- where did your boobs go? Have you withdrawn them in anger? Come get a hug.

Paulsimon- this is a tough situation, but I think it's quite similar to what could happen even if they weren't sisters, the rivalry between your lovers and the first sister sharing hurt with the mother, who wants to protect her child.

Once again it's going to come down to the quality of the communication and caring. Make sure you get yours from both of your lovers- don't cheat yourself by trying to solve issues that belong to them. I would bet that they aren't fighting entirely about your polyamorous situation. Don't get sucked in. If you are loving and respectful toward both of them, then you are doing your job.

Best of luck to you!
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  #20  
Old 08-07-2009, 12:46 AM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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You know what, I apologize for hijacking the thread. I probably sound like I was criticizing the PEOPLE. I want to make it clear that it's the SITUATION that I was criticizing.

To the OP: I'm sure you are all good people and I know you came looking for feedback trying to do what's right for you. Well, you got some.

I erased my pictures but I didn't have the chance to find the ones I wanted to put in their place. I guess I could put the boobs back. Some other time. I found another picture.

Last edited by NeonKaos; 08-07-2009 at 12:51 AM.
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